I want to start by quoting back a couple of gorgeously-wrought images:
his eyes were framed by a thousand marks of long care and resolute contentment.
He was champion of steel, and gold and silver were his servants;
I really appreciated the Dwarvish tone to it, the references to stone and craft. It is a little... heavy, perhaps. Dense. You've packed a tremendous amount of insight and history and Dwarvish mythos, which is fabulous! I'd love to see it somehow spread out a bit, if that makes sense.
Per our other discussion, I'd be happy to beta for you- stylistically there were a few sentence fragments that tripped me up but I think they were done for effect. I can help tidy up a bit of dialogue punctuation, too. Off to read your other story!