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Comments for: Rock and Hawk

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32 Comments

 
 

Rock and Hawk

Gwynnyd - 22 Sep 06 - 11:40 PM

General Comment

Lovely!  You have a very nice turn of phrase in many places. 

I'm curious about the booted/bare footprints and looking forward to the next chapter! 

Go to Rock and Hawk

Rock and Hawk

Adaneth - 25 Nov 06 - 11:00 AM

General Comment

Thank you, Gilnaur--what more can a story-teller want than for someone to ask for more?Grin

Who was it who said "I love to lose myself in other men's minds"?  I enjoy the challenge of trying to see the world as others do, to get that different and therefore fresh perspective on things.  Frankly, I didn't expect to have this much success with Dwarves.  I'll have to write an ethnography for the Research Articles section when I'm done.

At this point, barring interventions by the Muse, there should be one more chapter of "Rock and Hawk."  There is, however, a sequel planned and in rough outline (a vivid little scene from about three-quarters of the way through is already lodged in my head).  The two together would be too long for a novel, but since I have been intentionally writing "spare"--focusing on character and plot, and trying to avoid slatherings of description, lyrical or otherwise--it wouldn't be hard to flesh them out to novel-length.

Cheers--

Adaneth

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Rock and Hawk

Imhiriel - 20 May 07 - 4:16 PM

General Comment

As the story I had the pleasure of reviewing recently, I think "Rock and Hawk" is a marvellous work. There is so much evident work and detail and thought and care poured into the story, and it makes one seamless, natural whole.

I really love the fact that you explore in great detail the misunderstandings that exist between races, or between genders, or even just between different personalities; that you don't just pass over it as given. The so differing views of Dwarves on the standing of women and of social classes was especially fascinating: it was as if Men represented the historical facts of our own time, whereas Dwarves brought in the alternate, fantastic element.

The landscape is described beautifully, and you're right, the parallels with the wilds of Scotland are quite fitting, for your setting in place, and perhaps even in time (and I like your vocabulary lists - very educational; even if I knew some words, it was nice to have succinct definitions for all of them Wink).

May I ask you to compose a character list for this story, as well? When the refugees arrived, I fear I began to lose track of the cast, especially as there far too many people beginning with "H" Grin.

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Rock and Hawk

Adaneth - 22 May 07 - 11:17 AM

General Comment

The so differing views of Dwarves on the standing of women and of social classes was especially fascinating: it was as if Men represented the historical facts of our own time, whereas Dwarves brought in the alternate, fantastic element.

Well, Imhiriel, the Men are meant to closely follow the early medieval cultures that Tolkien used as models; and the Dwarves, with one very significant exception (to be explored in the third story in the cycle, which will start appearing shortly), to have attitudes more in line with current Western cultures.

Of course, some people would say that's pretty fantastic!  Wink

I'm glad you found the notes helpful, and I will certainly consider your request for a character list for this story as well.

Cheers--

Adaneth

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Rock and Hawk

Mantida - 07 Jun 07 - 7:54 AM

General Comment

I am extremely pleased to have found this novel. You write great descriptions (and have a great eye for detail) and great dialogues. The settings and the plot is interesting, too. And, above all, you write about Dwarves! Dwarves! So few authors write about them, and I find them the most fascinating of Tolkien's creations.

You have given us a very detailed (and very believable) picture of everyday Men's life. In later parts, I hope for equally compelling presentation of Veylin's dwelling and family (I am particularly curious about his sister.). You make good use of what little Tolkien told us about Dwarves (I admit to being somewhat Dwarves-obsessive, so I consider myself a good judge).

As far as the people go, Saelon is a very vivid personality, and the Men's portraits are really good. Veylin and the Dwarves come, by comparison, paler now (apart from Rekk), but this will probably change later on. Such a nice perspective of lot of good reading still to come!

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Rock and Hawk

Adaneth - 07 Jun 07 - 10:34 AM

General Comment

Dear Mantida,

Dwarves! So few authors write about them, and I find them the most fascinating of Tolkien's creations.

<takes off hood and bows>  At your service!  It's a pleasure to find another connoisseur of the Khazâd.

Dwarves are, as you know, secretive fellows, so it takes a little time to, hm, winkle them out of their shells.  Wink  You will find your first glimpse of Veylin's home in the second story in the cycle, Fair Folk and Foul . . . and will meet more of the family in the currently ongoing tale, "Of Like Passion."

I would be interested in your opinion of my attempt at canon-based dwarf-women.

I'm glad you enjoyed the story!

Adaneth

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Rock and Hawk

Dwimordene - 10 Jul 07 - 8:57 PM

General Comment

Hello Adaneth,

I have just finished reading this story - very well done! I love the lush description of the landscape and of the environment, which set the mood so very well.

I also quite enjoyed the slow unfolding of human and dwarven worlds, their unexpected collision, and the tentative, difficult path towards something like friendship between Saelon and Veylin. They each have such strong voices, and their lives follow quite different arcs, determined by different cultures and gender, yet they are a match for each other. Not complements, but the right sort of resistance to each other, in a way, that clears a space for friendship and even the joking possibility of more (even if Veylin splutters to think of it and fears insult to Saelon's honor even to hear it in jest).

I look forward to the next part of the saga, and hopefully won't have to wait too long before I'm able to take it up.

Thanks for a lovely, compelling read!

Dwim

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Rock and Hawk

Adaneth - 27 Jul 07 - 5:56 AM

General Comment

Apologies for such a belated reply to your praise of Rock and Hawk, Dwim: the message arrived an hour after I headed off into the Wild!  Smile

Since you are one of the authors I have been reading since I first started dropping in on HASA several years ago, it is a pleasure to be able to return some of the enjoyment your work has given me.  "Cuts Gone Wrong" is only the most recent example, and The Gift-giving of Celeborn is a must for all Dwarf-friends.

The next story in the Dûnhebaid cycle, Fair Folk and Foul, will be waiting here until you can find time for it, and more beyond that.

Cheers--

Adaneth

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Rock and Hawk

Beleth - 09 Jul 08 - 12:45 AM

General Comment

This was a very nice story! Saelon is such a realistic heroine. She has good qualities and bad qualities. I wonder what's going to happen to her people now. They surely won't stay in the caves forever? Thanks so much for writing!

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Rock and Hawk

Adaneth - 10 Jul 08 - 11:14 AM

General Comment

Thank you for the comments, Alquawende.

I wonder what's going to happen to her people now. They surely won't stay in the caves forever?

Keep reading and find out!  Wink

Cheers--

Adaneth

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Rock and Hawk

Adonnen Estenniel - 22 Mar 11 - 10:42 PM

General Comment

This was a delightful piece. You addressed racial and cultural barriers delicately and effectively, and managed at the same time to weave an entertaining plot throughout. 

I enjoyed your portrayal of the characters, as they were certainly dimensional and unique to themselves, yet still maintained the prevalent features of their respective races. The tension between the two groups was well-played; it was, to be quite honest, my favourite part of your characterization. Writing about characters who respect each other but do not necessarily like each other is a difficult thing, and I think you walked that fine line very well.

Thank you for this read.

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Rock and Hawk

Adaneth - 24 Mar 11 - 5:27 AM

General Comment

The tension between the two groups was well-played; it was, to be quite honest, my favourite part of your characterization.

You will not be surprised, then, to learn that I love the counterpoint of Baroque music.  Smile

Thank you for your appreciation.  I find it difficult to read stories where all of the principal characters love each other all the time--as Tolstoy pointed out, happy families are all alike, and that rarely makes for interesting fiction.  And Dwarves are notoriously cranky and cross-grained.

But some of us like them anyway.  Even if we sometimes want to take the flat of an axe to them.  Wink

Cheers-

Adaneth

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Rock and Hawk

Orofyn - 21 Jun 11 - 7:08 AM

General Comment

Greetings Lady! I am enjoying reading the story arc a 2nd time through. I have not found an answer to a my question in any previous readers post so I will ask. Where about on the Middle Earth map is Saelon's cave home?

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Rock and Hawk

Gandalfs apprentice - 22 Sep 06 - 9:12 AM

Ch. 1: Rowan and May

I'm hooked! The detail is vivid, like a painting, and you use it to add to the story, not detract from the buildup of suspense. I hope this will be a long tale.

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Rock and Hawk

Dwimmerlaik - 01 Jan 07 - 5:58 AM

Ch. 2: Blood on the Heather

Marvellous stuff; a delightful boquet of authentic Anglo-Saxon details, showing a great and detailed background in history.

The prose is solid and clear, easily followable and interesting. I especially like the mixing of Tolkien's details with the author's own; "Oromë and his shining steed Nahar, the slaying of Carcharoth, and Argeleb's pursuit of the Black Boar of Rhudaur". It's a good technique, and ties the story more closely to the source material.

I'm a little puzzled at one or two of the details--charred flesh smells pretty much like any other charred flesh, whether pork, beef, or human. It's the burning hair that produces the usual 'stink of burning flesh', along with our cultural preconceptions. Does a bow need to be curved? Simple bows often are straight sticks, but the belly of the bow will be curved (although I love the classic hair-bowstring piece).

Sometimes, the author gives us a pronoun before the name of the character referred to; I'm unsure if this is from style or not.

These are all minor details, however, and I bring themn upo because I have nothing else to pick at. Smooth prose, interesting storyline,

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Rock and Hawk

Gandalfs apprentice - 13 Oct 06 - 4:48 PM

Ch. 3: Hammer and Tongs

So they aren't Trolls and they aren't Orcs....what are they? Give us some more clues, already.

The Dwarf is great. You are building lovely suspense and character tensions. 

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Rock and Hawk

Beleth - 08 Jul 08 - 11:46 PM

Ch. 3: Hammer and Tongs

I have finally found the time to read your stories, Adaneth! I'm enjoying this one so far. I really like the allusions to Beleriand and Numenor.

I wonder what the creature was that attacked Veylin and his companions...

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Rock and Hawk

Gandalfs apprentice - 23 Oct 06 - 11:27 AM

Ch. 4: Axes Unsheathed

Your Dwarves are wonderful, and I like the Raven even better. The plot thickens....

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Rock and Hawk

Gilnaur - 30 Oct 06 - 9:26 AM

Ch. 5: Earth and Water

Very nice.

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Rock and Hawk

Gilnaur - 06 Nov 06 - 11:56 AM

Ch. 6: Reap What You Sow

Very good! Looking foreward to the next chapter.

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Rock and Hawk

Gandalfs apprentice - 09 Nov 06 - 11:04 PM

Ch. 6: Reap What You Sow

You're going to post again soon, right? What a cliffhanger!

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Rock and Hawk

Adaneth - 10 Nov 06 - 4:24 AM

Ch. 6: Reap What You Sow

You're going to post again soon, right? What a cliffhanger!

Grin  What's a serial without cliffhangers?

Yes, soon.  It might have been today, except for the fact that a big chunk of the last chapter came to me yesterday.  I will try to get it up over the weekend, but it may not be up until Monday.  I'm down to the end, and I know what happens, but the precise sequence of events is still gelling.

Oh, and did I mention this pesky work stuff?  Wink

Cheers--

Adaneth

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Rock and Hawk

Gwynnyd - 10 Nov 06 - 8:37 PM

Ch. 6: Reap What You Sow

Ack! Don't stop now!  

 Please? 

 Wonderful stuff. 

Gwynnyd 

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Rock and Hawk

Gilnaur - 12 Nov 06 - 11:41 AM

Ch. 7: Spears in the Sunset

Ah, maybe peace between a dwarf and the men are coming! Another good chapter, they dont have to be cliff hanger. It helps to build the flavor of the characters and cultures.

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Rock and Hawk

Gwynnyd - 26 Nov 06 - 7:03 AM

Ch. 9: Measure for Measure

One more chapter!  but, but.. what about the grue, the evil swamp thingey that is still on the loose? 

 Don't stop now!

Gwynnyd 

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Rock and Hawk

Adaneth - 27 Nov 06 - 5:42 AM

Ch. 9: Measure for Measure

Here, Gwynnyd--a small present to soothe your heart about "evil swamp thingeys."  Smile

If you go to my forum "The Heart is Highland" under "Setting the Scene," I've just posted (not entirely correctly, but still functionally) a link to an image of a place very like Saelon's bay.

Enjoy!

Adaneth

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Rock and Hawk

DrummerWench - 28 Nov 06 - 2:10 PM

Ch. 9: Measure for Measure

Hi, Adaneth

I am really enjoying your story!  It's so different from typical fan-fic, yet well-grounded in canon.  I appreciate the tensions and relationships among the characters as well as the larger conflict with the raug.  They all are well-drawn and realistic.

DrummerWench

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Rock and Hawk

Gilnaur - 01 Dec 06 - 11:15 AM

Ch. 10: Yuletide

You continue to show real personalities for both the men and the dwarfs. It is a pleasure to see that instead of caracatures that are so often used.

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Rock and Hawk

Gilnaur - 30 Oct 06 - 9:25 AM

Ch. 11: A Final Word from the Author

Story contines to intrigue me. Find characters interesting and real. Please continue. Looking for further chapters.

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Rock and Hawk

Gilnaur - 25 Nov 06 - 10:15 AM

Ch. 11: A Final Word from the Author

You continue to show in your writing a depth of richness of the culture and the characters you present that all too often is ignored or only lightly touched upon and as a result everything rings true. I am really impressed. I don't know how far you intend to go with this but I think it has the potential for a full length novel. It holds my interest.  

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Rock and Hawk

DrummerWench - 30 Dec 06 - 8:13 AM

Ch. 11: A Final Word from the Author

Hi, Adaneth

I am so happy to see this in the reviewed archive!  You've done a wonderful job with the characters, setting and story tension.  This goes on my bookshelf!

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Rock and Hawk

Adaneth - 01 Jan 07 - 11:23 AM

Ch. 11: A Final Word from the Author

I am so happy to see this in the reviewed archive!

Thanks, DrummerWench--I am, too, since I seem to be picking up some more people with the sequel, "Fair Folk and Foul," and I'm not sure how well some of that comes across without the backstory! 

Anyway, anyone who isn't up to speed now has no excuse.   Smile

The yestare update was to put it back in a cleaner format (what I had done appeared to have doubled the word count--it isn't a novel, but a novella!) and correct a few of the more glaring typos (and some of dwimmerlaik's concerns).

Thanks to all the reviewers, especially those that took the time to read this over the holidays.

Cheers--

Go to Rock and Hawk

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