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Another Man's Cage

oshun - 09 Nov 06 - 9:33 PM

Ch. 16: Chapter Sixteen--Tyelkormo

How you take small details of family life and make them suspenseful, dramatic, and funny all at the same time still amazes me. The picture of the affection of the people of Formenos for Fëanor is well-drawn and backed up in canon. Fëanor's remark that he is the one who has to take Macalaurë to the healer because Nerdanel "suffers to see her sons in pain" struck me as a projection of his own feelings onto her? I can vividly picture Macalaurë squirming with anxiety that Tyelkormo is going to rat him out to Fëanor for telling scary stories to the kids. Tyelkormo's descriptions of Findekáno are hilarious, if cruel in the way of children, revealing as much about him as his cousin. The description of the lock on the door in the lab was one of those moments of foreboding for me.

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Another Man's Cage

Rhapsody - 25 Nov 06 - 4:05 AM

Ch. 16: Chapter Sixteen--Tyelkormo

Whoops, I got a bit behind in reading. Even though I read every chapter of this story, I love to see what you changed and expanded upon. The brotherly interaction between Maglor and Celegorm is played out wonderfully. Maglor still doesn't tell what exactly happened, but Fëanor knows something is amiss because previously his son was more than apt to answer his questions before Fingon would. You can sense the struggle of Celegorm here, fitting for his age: be honest and been seen as a loser in the eyes of the intruder, or stick to what has been said so far. Maglor understands him more than Celegorm realises and the embrace they had, this part particulary moves me deeply:

"Shh." He strokes my hair. "That will be our secret, Tyelkormo, and it shall go with us until the ending of Arda." His voice is gentle, forgiving, and it makes me cry harder. He kisses my ear and whispers, "Do not cry, little one, or you shall give it away."

We both know this will never come out. A beautiful chapter Dawn!

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