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Comments for: Fallen

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4 Comments

 
 

Fallen

DrummerWench - 02 Jan 12 - 10:13 PM

Ch. 21: Civilians

I'm so happy to see this moving forward once more!  And just as tense and fraught as ever!  Great job with the dialogue and character relations.

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Fallen

Aliana - 05 Jan 12 - 7:47 AM

Ch. 21: Civilians

Thanks, DrummerWench!  I'm glad that you enjoy the dialogue and the character interactions; it's been a long haul, but thank you for hanging in there with me.

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Fallen

EdorasLass - 20 Jan 12 - 2:32 PM

Ch. 21: Civilians

Oh, this is an oddly …relaxed? chapter, in spite of the strong and heavy emotions running throughout.   It's the exhalation of a breath the characters [and we] have been holding for so long that even with its intensity, it's a relief, if that makes sense.  It's the first chapter that isn't racheting up the tension and dread.

 

I love the way Beren just falls to pieces, and how he whiplashes back to [slightly hysterical]  laughter, how still and non-flirty Elloth is, how she wants to know all the details of what happened at the Black Gate – I can't tell if she's completely clueless as to how tasteless it is to ask a detailed report from men who were fighting for their lives just days ago, or if it's more she's trying to punish herself for not keeping Laeron from going and is therefore not taking anyone else's feelings into consideration.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee She began: "In a hole in the ground there lived a perian…"  that's just perfection.

And finally Narrator just unloads all her worries and traumas onto someone else  - that has been a long time coming, although I fully understand why she likely wouldn't be able to allow herself to do it until now, when the War's come to a close and there's actually the chance that everything's going to be all right.  Hurrah for Beren's reaction! Not that I had any doubt, mind, but hurrah, nonetheless, and frankly, if you're going to hear a whole truckload of terrible things that have happened to the woman you'd like to marry, I think that just a few days' after saving the world would be the time to do it.

 Because of course she's right, It's the past, and it still lingers terribly, but it's all the past and there's nothing we can do about it, and there should be no-one who can understand that better than a man who's just returned from the Black Gate alive, and mostly intact. Physically, at least.

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Fallen

Aliana - 20 Jan 12 - 3:44 PM

Ch. 21: Civilians

It's the first chapter that isn't racheting up the tension and dread.

I KNOW, ISN'T IT WEIRD??  (Glad you enjoyed it.)

I'm also glad that Beren's and Elloth's emotions in this chapter rang true, for you--I remember struggling with both of them for a little while.

I can't tell if she's completely clueless as to how tasteless it is to ask a detailed report from men who were fighting for their lives just days ago, or if it's more she's trying to punish herself for not keeping Laeron from going and is therefore not taking anyone else's feelings into consideration.

More the latter, I suspect.  And yes, I loved being able to whip out that Hobbit quote; hope it wasn't too cheesy.

Not that I had any doubt, mind, but hurrah, nonetheless, and frankly, if you're going to hear a whole truckload of terrible things that have happened to the woman you'd like to marry, I think that just a few days' after saving the world would be the time to do it.

Thank you!  I had a conversation with my beta about whether Beren flipped out sufficiently at the things she told him.  However, we decided that since he had just witnessed the almost-ending of the world and until recently was resigned to the idea of his own death, there was not a whole lot she could tell him that would cause him to lose it, for better or for worse.

...and there should be no-one who can understand that better than a man who's just returned from the Black Gate alive, and mostly intact. Physically, at least.

Yep.  Plenty of PTSD to go around, after all. :p  Thanks so much for all your thoughtful comments today!  Really made my day.

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