1. Follow Your Heart
I remember the evening before that fateful day all too well, for it is the kind of day I wish I could forget. Father had called us all together and quietly laid out his oath. We would not, he said, have to give our response until the morrow, but he wished us to have time to think well on it. I cannot say I did, for I knew that Father was not going to let any of us stay behind, he would force us rather than risk open dissension.
I remember scrambling down the tree that grew next to my balcony and running into the night, my harp forgotten on the bed. As I ran, my breath caught at the thought of what I must do...
They were waiting for me when I walked back into the house. One came to each side and quietly escorted me up the stairs, steadying me when I tripped and providing guidance down the corridor, something it was grateful. I remember sinking onto my bed, crying and crying, feeling hands rubbing at my shoulder, soothing and attempting to calm.
It took hours, almost till dawn, before I was vaguely back to coherent pieces, and that was mostly because I'd run out of tears to weep. When I sat up, it was to meet both pairs of eyes, watchful and sad. They said nothing, didn't need to, and also had the sense to realise that such comments would probably pull me to pieces all over again. I rubbed my sleeved arm over my eyes, trying to remove the harsh dryness... but it didn't work. Finally I looked up at my brothers.
They jumped and I realised my eyes must be burning with fervor, for I'd only seen them react like that to Father, Mother and Russandol.
"Whatever happens, whatever is asked... Follow your hearts... For the love of all the Valar, Amburassar" I choked and gasped "Follow your hearts, forget any blood loyalties you might owe which would restrain you, it isn't worth the pain to do otherwise."
They nodded, both together. Their eyes told me they would obey, but also that, sadly, they would follow Father with his oath, like me too terrified to do anything else.
"Did you not rouse Amburassa my brother?"
My heart turned to stone at those words, for I had seen a figure sneak back to the ships, and rally the crew for it. If I had called out, roused someone....He hadn't been happy when Father wasn't going to go back, was going to break his promise, was going to abandon Nolofinwë to possible death.
Follow your hearts, forget any blood loyalties you might owe which would restrain you
My words of that one night rang in my head, resounding as a death knoll. As Amburassa looked for comfort I turned away, I couldn't face that familiar countenance in singular form, not when I had his twin's name burned on my conscience. For it was I who had damned my littlest brother, I who had hurt the other one. Spoken words that made him question, gave him the impetus to go back on the ship and prepare to depart. Words I had meant only to help them, yet they led to this...
Amburassar= Plural form of "Amburassa", used when referring to both twins.
This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.