Interview with Middle Earth Monthly: 1. Interview 1 - Legolas

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1. Interview 1 - Legolas

Interview 1 with Middle Earth Monthly (MEM)  /  Legolas (L)

MEM: "So we have with us here today, Legolas Thranduilion of the Woodland Realm. How are you this morning?"

L: "I am fine thank you."

MEM: "Uh, what shall I refer to you as, Prince… Mr. Thranduilion?"

L: *laughs* "Legolas would be fine. The name Thranduilion does not work in that fashion and only my lover calls me Prince."He smiles at the thought.

MEM: "I hope you don't mind me asking you a few questions about your significant other."

L: "No, of course not. What is it you would like to know?"

MEM: "Well, being that you are an elf and she is human, not to mention the thousands of years age difference, what do you do for fun? And please share with us anything that comes to mind."

L: "We like to go for long walks and working in the garden. But our new adventure is… driving."

MEM: "Driving? Driving a golf ball, driving her into a state of…"

L: *tips of ears turn bright pink* "Driving a car of course."

MEM: *sighs and thinks the interview is going nowhere* "O.K. What kind of car?"

L: "It is a 1973 Dodge Challenger R/T. Oh and it is a stick."

MEM: "It must be a challenge to go from controlling a horse to controlling a car, especially a stick shift."

L: "Oh yes, it was quite difficult, but Melissa has been a very good teacher."

MEM: "And what was the first thing you learned?"

L: "At first I had to learn the feel of my gear shift in my hand. I had to know exactly where it was so I could grab it as soon as I needed it."

MEM: "That seems like an odd thing to have to learn. Shouldn't you know by instinct where it is located?"

L: "It seems I had a problem with where to grab it. I would want to hold it by its shaft but she said that was an incorrect position. I should always place the palm of my hand around its end. She was right of course. It moves much easier this way. I also had to learn how and where to move it. If I moved it up and to the left, it seemed to want to sputter and jump. The first time this happened, Melissa got angry with me. But she placed her hand over mine and helped me learn how to shift it into position smoothly without thrashing it around."

MEM: "And how are you now? Have you gotten comfortable with it?"

L: "Oh yes. I do not need help anymore, though she still likes to lay her hand over mine sometimes. Then we shift it together."

MEM: "So you say you have a garden. What do you like to grow?"

L: "Mellon." *laughs a little too hard*

MEM: "Isn't… that… the elvish word for… friend?" *becomes frightened when he does a sort of laugh/snort thing*

L: "It is a joke we like share. Of course I know what I said. Actually, we grow melons."

MEM: "Really? What kind?"

L: "Oh all kinds. Big ones, small one. Round ones. Oval ones."

MEM: "Oval melons?"

L: "Well, they come in all shapes and sizes. It all depends on what you like."

MEM: "And what is your favorite melon Legolas?"

L: "Oh, there is a kind of melon that is better than all the rest. It is full and round. Mmm… Melissa has personally had a hand in developing this kind."

MEM: "That sounds very exciting."

L: "Oh it is. Melissa's melons are beyond compare to others. They are firm and perfectly shaped. They taste just wonderful by themselves, but my favorite way to enjoy them is to sprinkle some sugar on them and lick it off before I devour them."

MEM: "And this does not take away from the original texture?"

L: "Not at all. Whip cream turns them into an even better treat. She likes it when I cover hers with this creamy fluff. Then she slaps my hand away when I try to grab a taste before she's ready to give it to me. Patience was never my strong point, especially since tasting Melissa's melons."

MEM: "Well, our time is through here. Thank you for sharing your favorite things with us. Good luck with your stick shift and I encourage everyone to try Melissa's melons. They sound absolutely delicious."


This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.

Story Information

Author: L8Bleumr

Status: General

Completion: Complete

Era: Other

Genre: Humor

Rating: General

Last Updated: 11/11/10

Original Post: 11/11/10

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