38. Chapter 38
Legolas and I continued on, walking around and identifying different things. The names of them were coming to me faster with each try. I was feeling relieved as all those moments of déjà vue were being solidified into something tangible. Legolas was very sweet and never left my side. I was even introduced to some of his special friends that he has known since his younger days. I was astonished at how young they all seemed. Still, the way they walked and spoke made me realize that they were older than the earth itself, or so it seemed.
And then, Legolas was being called away for some sort of meeting with his father. I was probably the cause for this important interruption. "Go on then. I'll be fine here. Really. I am feeling much more comfortable now." I told him so he would leave before he got in trouble again.
"I will not be long. Stay here in the garden. I will meet you here when I am done." he said and kissed the top of my head. I couldn't help but realize how different Legolas behaved in his world. He was so carefree and emotional. It would be so easy to forget about everything I ever knew and surrender myself to him in this place.
This thought made me think about my home. It was the first time I thought about it since passing through the portal. Being in this magical place made me forget about everything I ever knew. So I sat down on the ground and leaned against a tree. I sensed its life force just as I had in my dreams back home. Home. What did I leave behind? Well, there was my house and my friends. It was hard to stay focused as my mind wanted to listen to the humming of the trees surrounding me. Then there was my own forest with the tree house and the pond. So many nights I had spent in that place. Summer was the best time of all. Oh the sweet smells of summer, like Legolas. Again, my thoughts drifted back to this place. I remembered my conversation with Legolas about nature being musical and I concentrated on the sounds around me. I could hear birds chirping and the wind blowing through the leaves. Somewhere way off in the distance was a wind chime playing a haunting melody. Then there was the low hum of the tree behind me. Everything meshed together in an unruly mess. Where was the conductor for this untamed orchestra? I listened very carefully and heard my own heartbeat. As I concentrated on it, the sounds around me suddenly came in tune you could say. They began to blend into something so beautiful, I thought I could have cried, but I didn't. I just sat and listened. It was all making sense. I let myself become engulfed in nature's sweet melody and let my entire being be consumed by this otherworldly place.
"You have a natural talent never before seen from a human." said a soothing voice from somewhere above me.
Startled, I opened my eyes and looked up. Legolas was sitting on a branch above me. His smile was beautiful. I don't think I've ever seen him look so happy. This is why it was going to break my heart to tell him my decision.
"Are you enjoying yourself mellon?" he asked. He jumped down with the greatest of ease, barely making a sound as he landed on the soft ground.
"Legolas, I have to talk to you. I… I don't think I can go through with this. I am worried about Ethan. I have been remembering and something happened right before I came here. I have to know that he is alright. I want to go home Legolas. I want to leave and go home. Please let me go." I begged almost desperate.
Legolas wrapped his arms around me and I felt his comfort surround me. "What has happened little one? When I left you, you were in good spirits."
"After you left, my mind cleared a little and I began to remember that night I stepped through the portal. There were gunshots and… well…" There went my mind again. Something was drawing my thought away from that night in my world. As long as I was here with Legolas, I could not think straight. I shook my head and tried again. "I was sitting right here under this tree and I started to think about my world and your world and what is going to happen to me. I can't take not knowing what all of this means. I might be stuck here for the rest of my life. I'll never see my world again or all those I care about. I might lose myself altogether. I don't think I can take that risk. I might be stuck on this side of the portal, alone, especially if Minaethiel is... Listen, I love you Legolas, but I don't think I can…"
"You love me?" Legolas interrupted.
It was then that I realized what I said. "Yes, I love you. I think I have loved you since first laying eyes on you, but your soul belongs to another and right now, she is a part of me. When you held me in your arms that night, I felt more loved than ever in my life. I thought I found true love at last, but then a thought hit me that night. You were sensing her soul in me and that was what you were feeling, not for me but for her. Legolas, I would have given you every part of me that night if it weren't for my dream. That's why I told you what I knew. If we were truly meant to be, it would not matter. But we know what really happened that night. You became angry because you knew the same thing I did. These feelings were not our own. It broke my heart to see you leave like that. I knew right then that you felt nothing but friendship for me. We were confused."
"You are wrong. I think a part of me always loved you too. You were not always influenced by Minaethiel. Most of your actions were your own and that is what I love about you. But you are right about our mixed feelings. Once an elf loves it is forever and Minaethiel is that one true love."
"And if she was not a part of me, you would never have thought twice about me." I said.
"Why would you say that? What makes you so sure?" Legolas said trying to argue the fact.
"Because you came to see my mother when she was a child. You came to see if she was the vessel and when you did not sense anything, you left." I paused a moment as I watched reality set in on Legolas' face. "Is this why you came to her?"
He turned his eyes from me now, as if he didn't want to face the truth. "Yes." he said in a simple whisper.
"Did you know how greatly you touched her? She thought about you for years and never told a soul. She went back to the forest all the time searching for you but you never came to her again. I know you would have done the same thing to me had I not been the vessel. It is the part of me where Minaethiel dwells which you love." I said as tears streaked my face. I so wanted Legolas to love me but this was tearing me apart.
"If you are intertwined with Minaethiel, then you are one in the same. You are Minaethiel reborn. Now you are being called home." Legolas said, ignoring everything I just said to him, trying to find another reason.
"You don't love me Legolas. You love her." I said raising my voice.
"If you would just let your mind go and remember, you will see we were fated to be together." He took both of my hands in his. "Think of the flower. How do you think you were able to tell me its Sindarin name? You have been here before. This was your home long ago. You just need to remember. It is the last part of the riddle. Remember! Remember me. Remember us. Please." He began to speak in his native tongue and I felt myself become lightheaded again. My head was hurting and I was scared.
"Please Legolas you are scaring me. I don't want to do this. I don't want to remember. I just want to go home. I… I…" My own voice began to fade away into the distance and suddenly I felt as if I was spinning. I was losing myself again. Legolas was consuming my being. Soon my fears turned to longing and I wanted this. I wanted Legolas. I no longer cared what happened to me.
I was consumed by a bright light and completely gave in to whatever was about to happen to me. I couldn't tell if I was dreaming again or if this was a vision. All I knew was that the light enveloped me in a comfortable warmth. I trusted it. I trusted Legolas and I felt that all would work out in the end. And so I gave in to the vision, Minaethiel's vision. I allowed her memories to come to the forefront of my mind and relive her life. I could only pray that I would not become completely consumed and forget who I really was.
This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.