20. Love Me Again
A week later, Eowyn arrived in Emyn Arnen. She said goodbye to her traveling partners and wished them good luck in their new home. She headed up the path which lead to her home, uncertain what she would find. Slowly, she entered through the door. All was quiet. Upon further exploration, she found Faramir. He sat at the table in his study with a pile of books next to him. His head was down and resting on his arms and his eyes were closed. Eowyn walked into the room and stood there a moment. His hair was unkempt and his face unshaven. He looked an utter mess. Her heart wept for him.
"Faramir?" she said quietly as to not startle him. He awoke from his slumber and looked up at her. His eyes were still half closed. Blinking several times to clear his vision, she finally came into focus.
"Is that really you or is this another dream?" he said, his voice rough.
"You have been dreaming of me?" she questioned, tears in her eyes. He looked so weak.
"Every time I close my eyes, my love."
"I am home, if you still want me here." she whispered.
Faramir got out of his chair and went to where she stood. He fell to his knees and laid his head on her belly, wrapping his arms around her. She brushed the hair from his face as he looked up at her. He was crying. This made Eowyn lose all composure as she began crying too.
"Eowyn, when you left, a part of me died. I need you. I am sorry for treating you so badly. Please forgive me. But if you don't it is just what I deserve. I have been a fool."
"I have not rested one minute since I left. I thought you would be gone when I returned. I don't want to lose you either. I love you so much. Can we just start once again and put this behind us? Nothing matters more to me than your love. I don't need a family. I only need you. Please hear my words and believe what I say."
"I hear you my darling. We will find a way to work through this. I have been studying and maybe there is still hope for us to have a family. It will require medicinal help but there is still a chance. Let's not give up yet."
"I don't care about that. I just want you. Do you understand that?" She felt like she wasn't getting through to him.
"But your dream is to have a baby."
"My dream was to marry the man I love. Having a baby was just an added benefit, not the end means."
They held each other for the longest time, neither one saying a word. Finally, Faramir stood up and kissed her deeply. "I have missed your touch. Every night I would dream you were lying next to me only to wake with disappointment when you were not there. I want you, Eowyn. I need you. Will you have me?"
"Yes, my husband." she whispered.
They spent the rest of that day and the whole evening making love and holding each other tight. Eowyn hoped this was the end of Faramir's despair. He seemed to be himself again. But she knew he still had to work through his fears and face the ghosts of his past. It was the only way he could truly go on with his life, with or without Eowyn. She could only pray that it would be with her.
Life was getting on in Emyn Arnen. Faramir and Eowyn had settled into a comfortable routine. They were finally happy together. He began to talk more openly about the relationship he had with his father. Eowyn learned things about Denethor she never knew. There was a time, though very brief, when their family life was good. Faramir was very young and only remembered bits and pieces. But things changed after a visit from the wizard Saruman. Faramir called to mind a 'gift' from the old man or at least that is what his father called it. Denethor caught his son trying to take a peek at the object wrapped in a silk cloth. The Steward quickly swooped up Faramir and told him it was not for his eyes. He never saw it again and soon afterwards, his father began to change. He became more withdrawn, spending less and less time with his family. It was not long after that when Faramir's mother died. His father then forced him to train as a warrior which he didn't enjoy. Then one day Gandalf paid a visit to Gondor. It was Faramir's first meeting with the grey wizard. Mithrandir became rather taken with the young Faramir and secretly took him on as an apprentice, teaching him many things about Middle Earth, but mainly about the Elves. They held many secrets and Faramir soon became fascinated with their kind. Denethor despised Gandalf for spending so much time with his son. He soon found out why and forbid his son to see the wizard. By that time, young Faramir had a deep understanding for many things and the books he read from. So he kept up a front by learning archery, like the Elves. It pleased his father and kept him off of his back for a while and Faramir enjoyed the sport. But as evil stirred in Mordor, Denethor's demeanor grew dark and unfriendly. Boromir became the warrior and Faramir was left behind. He would never live up to his father's expectations and would be seen as a failure in Denethor's eyes. When Faramir left to defend Osgiliath that last time, it was to honor his deceased brother and hopefully gain some respect from his father. It almost cost him his life and may have cost him an heir to the throne of Emyn Arnen. Having a baby would prove he was not a failure and was the reason for his unexpected outbursts. But now he was working through his problems with Eowyn supporting him every step of the way.
Today, the Elves of Ithilien were busy getting ready for the return of their Elf Prince. Legolas and Gimli were returning. There was to be a wonderful celebration and all were invited. It had been almost two years since they had seen their ruler. Much had been done to the forest. All the Elves were proud of their accomplishments and could not wait for Legolas to see what they had done. More talans were added as more Woodland Elves made the choice to stay a while longer in Middle Earth. Most had made a commitment not to leave before their lord. Legolas was highly respected in his position. Most had never known a better leader. He was kind, loving and fair amongst all. They would follow him wherever he took them. But Legolas was leaving soon. He was making the announcement tonight. They needed to know and make their own decisions on whether to stay in Ithilien or sail to Valinor. He hoped most would stay as there was still much that could be done to help mankind make a healthy start in the forth age.
Legolas' main concern was telling Eowyn of his decision to leave. He knew it would break her heart, but he felt she was ready to be completely on her own, no longer feeling the burden of the bond they shared. His love for her went too deep and would never be returned in the same way. At times it was very difficult to be no more than a friend to her, especially when she was hurting. It pained him very much to see her anything but happy. He could not comfort her the way he wanted.
Legolas went to Eowyn's garden where he found her beneath a tree. She was sitting on the ground, her eyes closed and back leaning against the tree. Legolas thought she was asleep until she smiled as he walked towards her. His skin tingled at the thought of her still being able to feel him when he was near.
Slowly, she opened her eyes to confirm her suspicions. A smile grew across her face as she saw his lithe figure standing there. "You have returned. How wonderful to see you again." she said standing up and running to him. She embraced him, taking in his woodsy scent. Legolas closed his eyes and let her energy wash over him. She would never fully understand the affect she had on him.
"I am glad to be looking upon your beauty once again. You look simply radiant this fine day." he said giving her a warm smile.
"Come and sit with me. I would dearly love to hear about your travels. How is Gimli?"
"He is still as much a Dwarf as he'll ever be, I'm afraid." Legolas answered giving her a wink.
Eowyn laughed and took Legolas by the hand, pulling him towards the trees. She was so happy and it was killing Legolas that he would have to tell her soon of his leaving for Valinor. But right now he put those thoughts aside as much as he could for he only wanted to enjoy her presence and closeness in this moment. It would probably be the last time he would see her so elated.
Meanwhile, Faramir was in his study, pouring over books. He told Eowyn he only wanted what she wanted in this marriage. Nevertheless, he still hadn't given up on finding a way to heal and give her a child. He had been to the healers many times and they worked on new ways to help him but their training was inferior. This was not something that had ever been tried. Some of the medicines were dangerous if not used properly. Yet there was no probability of a positive outcome which would result in having a child. Faramir figured he was no better off than he was right now and every possibility should be tried. He did this, of course, without Eowyn having any knowledge of it.
As he was looking through the books in his study, he came across a rather primitive looking script. It was not a bound book. It had been hidden between two leather bound volumes. He pulled it out and opened the tattered pages. Instantly, he knew what he was looking at. It was Eowyn's drawings from when she was a child. He smiled at the thought of her as a child, sitting by the fire and drawing these images. They were rather good and he knew what each plant and animal was. He decided to put her book in a special place, hopefully to one day show their children. Faramir imagined having a daughter or son of his own, sitting on his lap as they looked through its pages. 'Look what a talented artist your mother was when she was your age', he would say. That's when he realized Eowyn was not the only one who wanted a child. He wanted this just as badly as she did. He was not doing this just for her. He was doing this for himself too. Faramir wanted the chance to prove he would be a good father.
As he was reaching up to put Eowyn's drawings in a special place, something fell out and floated to the floor. It was a folded paper. He picked it up and looked at it, turning it over. There was a wax seal on the other side, the seal of Gondor. He carefully unfolded the paper. It was a letter.
I am writing to inform you that things have changed since you left………
It was the deceitful letter his father wrote, pretending to be Faramir. He had never seen the actual words, only what Eowyn had told him. He was surprised Eowyn had kept it. Reading it now stirred many unwanted feelings and memories.
I feel that if you could betray Boromir with me, then you could betray me with another………
How could his father have been so deluded? So many things went wrong because of this letter. For one, it took the only woman he'd ever loved away from him and into the arms of another. He also may not have suffered his injuries. If he hadn't thought Eowyn deserted him, he might not have gone back to Osgiliath and been struck down by a poisonous blade. Had his father not tried to burn him alive, he might have gotten to the healers sooner, thus avoiding the seemingly permanent injury he now suffered from. As he thought about all of this, the hatred he felt for his father once again boiled to the surface. Faramir sat at his desk and fumed for things that could no longer be changed. He felt a searing heat under the scar of his old injury as if an unseen evil was at work.
There came a knock at the door. "Who is it." he said in a low dark tone.
It was one of the maidens. "The master healer is here to see you." she said in a mousy voice.
He had forgotten that the healer would be visiting him sometime soon with news of his condition and whether any of the medicines were working. He instantly changed his mood from loathing to friendly and welcoming. "Come in, come in." he chimed, going to the door and letting the man in. "What news have you for me? I have been anxious to know."
The healer did not look very excited to tell him the results and Faramir sensed his hesitation. He motioned for the man to have a seat but the healer laid a gentle hand on Faramir's arm. "I'm afraid the results are not good. It seems there are permanent repercussions due to the poison and the amount of time that it remained in your system. We have searched through hundreds of books and documents and have found no evidence of a cure. In fact, no one has ever lived after suffering such an injury. According to what we have found, you shouldn't even be alive. You are a miracle to the medical society and very lucky to have survived. For that alone you should be grateful."
Faramir began to lose his temper. "How am I to feel fortunate to have a life when I cannot create one? I am the lord of my land but will not have an heir to one day see over my home." Faramir calmed himself, realizing it was not the fault of the healer. "I'm sorry. I do not mean to raise my voice to you. Are you sure this is the end result? Is there nothing else that can be done?"
The healer felt sympathy for Faramir. This was a difficult position for him to be in. "My lord, we have tried everything and then some. Unless there is something we don't know about yet, there is no solution. I'm sorry." He patted Faramir on the shoulder and then left.
Faramir once again sat alone at his desk. All his dreams were stifled. He could not give Eowyn the child they hoped for. He had hoped their loving making last night would have proved successful. Now there was no hoping ever again. His thoughts turned to Eowyn. How could he expect her to stay married to him knowing they would never have a family? It was not fair to her, no matter what she said about wanting him and nothing else. He had felt the same when thinking about a son or a daughter to tell stories to, or teach the ways of Men to. He had felt the want and the emptiness it would bring down the road and he could not put her through that. She could still have a child. She should not be punished as he was being punished. Faramir thought long and hard and came to a very desolate decision. He would drive her away from him. She should go on with her life and have the family she always wanted. He could not live with himself knowing there would always be a 'what if'. Eowyn deserved better than him.
He sat there wallowing in self pity, dark thoughts taking over his mind. It was as if the dark shadow of evil still covered the earth. But this was Faramir's doing. He let the thoughts of his father and his own situation eat at him like a cancer, consuming every fiber of his being.
"Oh Legolas, what wonderful stories. I never knew so much existed in those caves under Helm's Deep. Our people only used them for protection and storage. As much as you opposed to going there with Gimli, are you glad you went now?" Eowyn asked Legolas as they sat and talked.
"Yes. I must say it was a glorious place to see. I thought I knew all there was to know about caves. My father, after all, has built his kingdom amongst them. I am used to underground life. But I always thought of them as being dark places to hide one's fortunes. I was wrong. They can be a thing of great beauty, but I'll never admit that to the Dwarf."
Eowyn laughed as she thought about the two unlikely friends wandering together into unknown places. They must have been a sight to see, each resisting admission to their awe to the other. She supposed they were more alike than they would ever know and hoped their friendship would help heal alliances between the Dwarves and the Elves someday.
Legolas' laugh slowed as he knew it was time to talk to her about his future plans. He had to tell her now before the celebration tonight. She should be the first to know, even if it would hurt her the most.
"Eowyn, there is something I need to talk to you about. I'm afraid you will not like what I'm going to say but you need to know now, before I announce it to my city."
Eowyn sat back and looked at his face. He had suddenly become very serious and she didn't like it one bit. "What is it, Legolas?" she said reading his countenance. "Is it your fading?"
"It has gotten stronger, which is why I must do this. My dear Eowyn, I will be leaving soon for Valinor."
"What? But you can't!" she said in desperation. "You will die."
"I am dying now. It is inevitable. But the gulls cry has become very strong since I came to Ithilien. I want to see Valinor before I fade for good. It is one thing I want most." he said knowing she was the only thing he wanted more.
"But I thought you needed me to survive. I thought we needed each other." Eowyn said tears beginning to form.
"Your energy slows the process. I will live as long as you do. But that is not fair to you. You have a new life with Faramir. Hopefully you will start a family soon. You do not need to be burdened by me and I am ready to move on."
"But you cannot leave now. Your people need you too. I need you." she said almost afraid to admit it.
"My people are strong and have shown such dedication in my absence. They will be fine."
"I won't be. I will miss you. I need your company, Legolas."
"Eowyn, please don't make this any harder than it already is. You don't need me now. Faramir is all you need."
"But you don't understand. There are some things that only you can…" Legolas cut her off.
"Eowyn, it is you who doesn't understand. I… I love you in a way you will never know. My heart aches for you in every way, your touch, your smell, your soul. And I am tired. It wears me down. I must constantly remind myself that there is no hope in ever being with you again. My body still hums when you are near. I only wish I could satisfy my needs but I can't. I'm afraid what it will do to me if I stay. I love you and only you. There will never be another I will love more. And that is why I must go." He felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. For so long he kept his feelings suppressed. But the look on her face said something he did not anticipate.
"There will always be a part of me that loves you too, Legolas. That last night we shared changed me. You say we didn't physically bond but I felt a piece of your soul that night. It was beautiful and pure; love like I had never known. I understand you better than you think. And so in a way I think we will always share a connection. I have tried to deny it for the longest time but I have always known."
"You cannot fully commit to Faramir as long as I stay then. It is not fair to him or you. It is just another reason why I must go." Legolas said laying his hand on hers and relishing the feel of her skin.
Eowyn was crying but she knew he was right. If she begged him to stay it was only for her own selfish reasons. He deserved to go on just as much as her. She realized that maybe it was time they lived their own lives to the fullest without the burden of their bond. Maybe it was for the best.
"When will you leave then?" she whispered, letting him know she would not try to stop him.
"I must first build a boat. It will have to be big enough to support two as Gimli is going with me. It is yet another promise he made. It will take some time but it must be done."
"I'm glad you told me now. I will not hinder you. If this is what you must do, then I will support your decision, though I will hate to see you leave. I'll never see you again will I?"
"I'm afraid Elves and Men's souls do not travel to the same place. Unless there is some great exception by the Valar, we will never again meet. But this is too depressing to think about now. Let us enjoy the time we have left. Will you and Faramir join the celebration tonight?"
"Yes of course. Let us celebrate the return of the Elf Prince to his home. The Elves are very proud of the work they have done in your stead. They deserve much praise from all who dwell in Ithilien." she said standing up. Legolas was the first to begin walking away. Eowyn stood and watched him but before he got too far, she grabbed his arm. As Legolas turned to her, Eowyn pulled herself into him, wrapping her arms around his waist. Legolas closed his eyes and breathed deep, laying a hand to the back of her head. She slowly looked up at him and surprised the Elf as she kissed him. Legolas froze a moment, knowing this was wrong but he could not keep his composure. He kissed her back as they shared this intimacy maybe for the last time. He memorized her soft warm lips touching his and her smell and taste. She would always be as beautiful as she was the first time he met her. It was well worth the sacrifice he made to be with this mortal and he would never stop loving her.
Faramir was succumbing to depression. This latest news was tearing him apart. He was nothing without Eowyn but she could be nothing with him. Why had their relationship always been in such turmoil? It was a cruel joke by the gods to torture him so. But for now, he would put up a good front and love her these last few days they shared. Once he talked to her, she would never want to see him again. This was one thing he was sure of.
He straightened himself up and got ready for the elven celebration that evening. Eowyn had told him of the invite after she returned from working in her garden. She seemed to spend quite a bit of time there. Faramir knew Eowyn enjoyed spending time with Legolas. He thought about this a moment. Eowyn had almost committed herself to the Elf. Maybe she would be better off with him. Or maybe she would return to Rohan and find love there. Whatever was to happen, he felt he was putting things right by setting her free, no matter how badly he wanted to stay with her.
As he walked with Eowyn to the elven city he held her hand tight. She noticed and stopped to look at him a moment, studying his features. "Is everything alright, my husband? You seem to be elsewhere tonight."
"Everything is fine now." he lied. Nothing was fine but this was not the time to discuss it. Faramir took her face in his hands and kissed her fully on the lips. She was taken aback by this gesture.
"Eowyn, do you know how much I love you?"
"Of course I do. And I love you just as much."
"Then you know that everything I do is with you in mind. Every decision I make is for your well being. I want you to be happy and content with your life, no regrets."
"Faramir, are you alright?" she asked. She wasn't sure where he was going with this conversation but he made her feel slightly uneasy.
"Just know that I love you more than life itself." he said then kissed her again. They continued walking along the path until they came to the great gathering place set aside for such occasions as this.
Legolas sat at the head of a very long table, surrounded by his elven company. He wore his royal silver robes and looked very princely indeed. When he saw Faramir and Eowyn, he introduced them properly and welcomed them to his fine city. The festivities got underway as huge platters were brought in, filled with wonderful food and wine. It was a beautiful evening and everyone was enjoying themselves. Faramir danced with Eowyn a few times. He twirled her around as she laughed, taking in his attention. Legolas watched how they interacted. They were definitely meant for each other. He felt he was making the right decision and thought it was time to make his announcement soon, before things went along any further.
The music stopped as Legolas clinked the side of his glass. He once again stood at the head of the table and waited until he had everyone's attention.
"My friends, Ithilien's forest is once again the fairest of all the land. You have proved yourselves worthy of this celebration. I am proud to call this place my home. And that is why it saddens me to have to tell you this." He paused as every eye and ear was trained on him. "I have decided to leave you all… for good this time." Gasps came from all over. Faramir wrinkled his brow at the news.
"I didn't know about this, did you?" he whispered to Eowyn. When she didn't answer or even seem surprised he looked at her. "Eowyn?"
"Legolas told me today. He made me promise not to say anything to anyone, even you. He wanted everyone to know together."
"But what about his… won't he die?" Faramir was never very clear about this bond they shared but he knew enough to know Legolas could not survive without her friendship.
"He is ready. There is no need to prolong the inevitable." she said calmly. She had already had this conversation.
"Oh Eowyn, I am sorry. You are such good friends now. How could he do this to you?" Faramir said.
"Because this is not about me. It is about Legolas and what he wants before he fades. He wants to see Valinor and should be allowed to do this without judgment." As Eowyn explained this to Faramir, Legolas began speaking again.
"My time has come, as I knew it would. Maybe sooner than anyone could have predicted. The gulls cry is strong within me now. Galadriel herself warned me of this day. Never again would I walk freely beneath my beloved trees." He glanced at Eowyn as he said this. "She was right. Once you hear their lovely song you are restless to follow them. But do not grieve for me. I am glad to go to our last land of the Elves. I do not ask any to follow me. You must stay. There is still much to do here. You will know when the time has come for your own departing. Do so with love and a feeling of accomplishment. Know you have done your best in making things right in this Forth Age, the age of Men. You have made a difference and the future of Men is bright. Now they must do it on their own." He picked up his glass for a toast. "No in elenath hilar nan had gin. May all stars shine upon your path." he translated. Legolas raised his glass and everyone did the same. Then they all drank from their goblets. "Let us celebrate." he said. The Elves never skipped a beat. They were saddened but understood their Prince's decision to leave and that was just the way it was. They would all follow the same path one day.
Legolas approached Faramir and Eowyn. "May I dance with your lovely wife, my lord?" he said bowing his head.
Faramir let go of her hand and took a step back. "Please do." he responded, though reluctantly. Faramir watched as Eowyn and Legolas danced. They were very in tune to each other as they danced across the floor. He knew Eowyn still held affection for Legolas and she always would. They shared a special connection that could never be broken. He pondered this. If he left her, she would eventually go back to Legolas. But now that he was leaving, she would be left alone, unless Legolas changed his mind. If he stayed, he would take care of her and maybe give her the one thing Faramir could not, a family. Faramir felt a pain in his shoulder as he thought of Eowyn in someone else's arms, especially Legolas. Dark thoughts swarmed in his head as his mood suddenly changed. It felt as if something or someone else took over his mind. The decision to end their marriage was tearing him in two. The only thing that hurt worse would be to see her run back to the arms of her former lover. Jealously reared its ugly head as he felt anger begin building within him. He marched out onto the dance floor and grabbed Eowyn's arm roughly.
"I think that will be all for tonight. I think we should be leaving soon." he said rather sternly.
Eowyn looked at him, confused by his sudden outburst. She went with him leaving Legolas standing alone on the dance floor. When they were far enough away she tugged her arm away from his grip and gave him a look that would have silenced a troll.
"Faramir, what has gotten into you tonight? You are not yourself. Why did you pull me away like that? It was much uncalled for."
"I will not be spoken to in such a manner." he said avoiding the inevitable.
"I will not be man handled like that in front of all our friends or any time for that matter. Now, I am not ready to end the evening just yet. I think we owe a special gratitude to Legolas and his company for all they have done in our land."
"And I say it is time to go. You spend too much time here as it is. You will follow me home this instant." Anger was getting the best of him.
"You are beginning to act like you brother, commanding people to do your will. I will not stand for it nor will I discuss this here."
Legolas' elven hearing picked up a word here and there of the couples conversation. It was difficult with all the other noises in the hall. He watched as Eowyn stormed outside, Faramir following close behind. He didn't like seeing them argue like this. He thought everything was good between them now. Legolas decided to follow them at a safe distance and find out what was wrong.
Eowyn kept walking until she found a secluded spot away from the others where she could talk more freely with her husband. She did not want to fight with him but he seemed to be rather adamant on doing so. Eowyn was never one to back down. She stood her ground no matter what, especially with her stubborn husband.
"Now, if you wish to discuss this rationally I will listen to you. What is wrong with a dance with Legolas?" she said trying to remain calm.
"That is not it. But I do not care for your accusations of my behavior. You compared me to Boromir. He could be a brute sometimes, but I have never treated you the way he did."
"No you haven't but you were making a good start. No one tells me what to do or when to do it. I didn't start this, Faramir. You were the one who dragged me away. It seems you need my attention but don't know how to ask. So we are here now, alone. What has gotten into you?"
Faramir turned away from Eowyn. He didn't want to do this now but she was already implying something was wrong with him. "Eowyn, there is something you do not know. Something has been plaguing my mind and I can't stay silent any longer."
A look of fear washed over Eowyn's face. "If this is about my friendship with Legolas, I swear, I'm going to scream. How many times have I told you we are only friends?"
"You just don't get it do you." Faramir yelled. "I don't care about him. Though sometimes I think you spend too much time with the Elf. I know you were happy with him at one time. All I have done is brought you misery and anguish."
Somewhere high above them in the trees, they were being observed by Legolas. He sat still and quiet and listened to their argument. This was not at all how he wanted to see them. They were supposed to be together. It was their path, the only one they were meant to take. He wished there was something he could do.
"Faramir, I know we have had our ups and downs but there is nothing we cannot work through as long as we do it together. This past year has been very trying for us both. Legolas senses the disruption in our relationship. He has been an ear to bend when times have gotten tough. But I am with you, not him. I chose you to live my life with. Now tell me what is wrong."
"I know you wait and hope that our love making will lead to a child." He paused a moment. "I spoke to the master healer today." he said. He lowered his head and looked at the ground, unable to look Eowyn in the eye. "I'm afraid there is nothing more we can do. We can never have a child, or at least I can't."
"I've told you before, I don't care. I just want…"
"I know... you just want me. But that is not enough. Eowyn, you can have a child. You can bring another into the world and you should. But not with me. You deserve everything life has to offer. I cannot hinder you."
"What are you saying? Just because we can't have children you would turn me away? Does my love mean nothing to you? Isn't that enough for you?" Eowyn's voice was beginning to crack as she was about to cry again, something she seemed to do a lot of lately. "I thought I was being selfish wanting Legolas to stay but you… you take the cake. I cannot keep going back and forth with you on this. There is nothing more I can do to show you how much I love you. Maybe you think having a child is the ultimate show of love but it's not that way for me. Please Faramir; don't do this, not now. We need each other. We can work through this."
Faramir was upset by her words. The burning beneath his scar was becoming intense and made him lash out. "I am selfish? Is that what you think? I am giving you a chance to find someone who will give you what you want. If we stay together, I will only regret it more and more. I'm afraid of resenting you. The guilt I feel for not being able to do my husbandly duties will only turn into hate. I cannot live like that. That's how my father lived his life and it cost my dear mother her life. I'm telling you to go away and forget me. I will only make you miserable and ill-disposed. You are too special and smart and beautiful to become the monster I will turn you into. I want you to leave me alone and never look back. Go back to Legolas, why don't you. You spend all your free time with him anyways. Go back to Rohan and find a new life there. I don't care, but you cannot stay here. I am poison to you. You don't deserve me. I am broken and cannot be fixed even by your love." Faramir paused and sighed deep. "Please Eowyn; please leave me to wallow in my own misery. If you stay, I will only bring you down to the darkness that eats at my soul. I don't want that for you. I told you I only do these things with you in mind. I love you and could not bear to see your light and energy fade away just because you stayed with such a miserable creature like me. Please leave, please." These last few words Faramir whispered. He couldn't believe he was saying them. But it had to be done.
"Is there nothing more I can say? Will my love never be enough for you? This is your doing, not mine. I would never give up on us as you are. I thought you were different but you aren't." Eowyn was crying. She really didn't want to give up but at the moment she just wanted to get as far away from him as she could. Suddenly, she could stay silent no longer and spoke without thinking. "I am done with all of this. I hate you." The words left her lips before she considered what she was saying. Why didn't he understand her? Why couldn't he just be happy with her, even without a family? She looked at him but he was emotionless. Eowyn had to get out of there. Without saying another word, she ran off into the forest. The fact that it was night or that danger may be lurking about played no part in her decision to flee from her husband. So she ran and she ran and she knew not that someone watched over her as she did.
Legolas' heart sunk to the pit of his stomach. He couldn't stand to see Eowyn so upset. He could not let her leave in this state so he followed her from high above in the canopy of the trees. This time he would watch out for her, wherever it was she was going. Why did Faramir turn her away like that? Legolas would never treat her that way if he knew they were meant to be together. But he was sure Faramir was her one and only. Was it that important to the man to have an heir to his kingdom? Or did he love her so much he couldn't hurt her by sharing his burden with her?
Suddenly Legolas heard a tiny voice in his head. 'Go to her.' it said. 'You can heal them. You were chosen.' What were these thoughts? He felt as though some other force spoke to him. He shook his head as if to clear his mind. He was in such deep thought he almost didn't notice she had stopped running and had fallen exhausted to the forest floor where she curled up in a ball and wept. Legolas stopped and watched her for a few more moments. He thought about Faramir's words. He seemed to have made up his mind to send her away.
Legolas looked down from the trees once more and saw that Eowyn had cried herself to sleep. She looked so peaceful lying there. Her face was angelic and she seemed to not have a care in the world. He decided he could not leave Middle Earth knowing Eowyn was miserable and lonely.
The voice came back, more determined. 'You can heal her before you depart but you cannot stay to see it through. Go to her.' Slowly and quietly, Legolas climbed down from the tree he sat in. He walked silently as only an Elf can to where she lay. He got down on his knees and lightly pulled the hair back that was hiding her features. She was so beautiful, he thought. How could anyone ever treat her badly?
Eowyn woke up with a sense of love and safety surrounding her. She cracked her eyelids open and saw the glow of the one she knew so well. "Legolas, you followed me?"
"Shh." he said as he sat on the ground and lifted her head onto his lap. "Tis just a dream. Go back to sleep."
She remembered where she was and why she was here and started to cry again. "He doesn't want me, Legolas. I love him so much but he doesn't want me."
"Faramir is not in his right mind. He thinks he is doing the right thing by you. He just doesn't understand how deep love can go. Love can conquer all if you let it. Love can be healing."
"You always did understand the ways of the heart. Oh, Legolas, what will I do without him. I don't want to leave him but he pushes me away. I feel I have no choice." she said before the lump in her throat stopped her words.
"Just lay here with me and I'll watch over you for a while. Try not to think about it right now. There is nothing to be done at the moment." Legolas said as he stroked her temples. She closed her eyes and let his healing touch take over. His hands were warm and his stroke was gentle.
After a while, Eowyn sat up next to Legolas. She gazed into his blue eyes. "Thank you for following me. I'm glad not to be alone right now." As she spoke, Eowyn reached up and brushed her hand across his cheek. Legolas closed his eyes and further pushed his face into her hand, drawing from her energy. Her touch was very powerful. He opened his eyes and gazed upon her beauty. Very slowly he leaned towards her. Eowyn did not move but watched him. His eyes were like the sea. How she would miss him when he left.
He leaned into her and was about to kiss her but she turned her head and looked at the ground. "Legolas." she said in a tone that was telling him not to do this.
"I'm sorry. I mean no disrespect. I just don't know how else to comfort you. When we're this close to each other, I feel your life-force pulsing through my veins. It is very healing. I just thought I could return the same feelings to you."
Eowyn took his hand in hers. She studied every finger, every crease. It made him unique. Archer's hands were very strong and rough. His were not rough. They were smooth and sensual. She remembered how good they felt on her body. Her mind was a whirlwind at the moment but she didn't care. Right now she just needed to be close to someone. Legolas cared for her and that made her feel good. But she was afraid of what she might do in this state of mind. She decided it was better if she stood up. Eowyn got to her feet and turned from Legolas.
"I'm glad you're here." she whispered. "I feel so safe with you, like nothing can ever hurt me, not even him."
Legolas got up and stood behind her. "Faramir does not mean to hurt you. He is your soul mate and sometimes that is a very hard thing to live up to, especially when one cannot give themselves wholly to the other. He feels incomplete, broken. He needs to feel whole again. Give him some time and I think he will want you back."
Eowyn spun around and came face to face with the Elf. "Maybe I don't want him back. I have given him everything. I have given him love, given him my soul. I have given him space and come back to embrace him and pull him into every fiber of my being and yet it is not enough. What more can I do?" she said on the verge of crying again. "I can't take much more. I just want him to love me and not worry about everything else."
Legolas pulled her into his chest and wrapped his strong arms around her while she cried. Eowyn snaked her arms around his waist. There was such contentment here with him. She felt his love emanate from him and pass into her body. It was exactly what she needed right now.
Legolas held her tighter and felt his energy consume her. Her body was warm and vibrant. It pulsed with life, something he was beginning to feel less and less of with every passing day. He took her chin in his hand and tilted her head up. Then his lips laid gentle kisses on her forehead. When she did not resist, he moved to her cheek and then the other one. He stopped, not wanting to scare her off. But Eowyn surprised him when she returned a kiss to his cheek. He closed his eyes and concentrated on her soft luscious lips touching his skin. He kissed the tip of her nose and waited for her reaction, of which there was none. Just when he thought the intimacy was over, she surprised him again when she captured his lips. At first it was just an innocent display of affection. He was torn, worried she would stop and worried she wouldn't. He only kissed her slightly. The last time they shared a similar moment, she ran off and got hurt.
Eowyn could not control her emotions. She knew this was not right but she wanted him. She wanted to feel his love, his touch. It made everything bad sink away into the night. Her tongue went in search of his, slipping through his open lips. He responded with his own tongue caressing hers.
Eowyn grabbed the sides of his robe in her fists as she mentally tried to will herself to stop. But Legolas' kiss was so inviting and his woodsy scent was overwhelming. Her mind brought back memories of his love making. He knew all the right places to touch her that drove her to the edge. Now she wanted to experience them again.
"Legolas?" she whispered.
"My mind tells me we must stop but something deep down will not let me. I know this is wrong but my soul still wants you."
"Mine has always wanted you. My passion has never changed. For so long I have tried to bury my thoughts and want for you but I can no longer contain them. I feel your soul reaching out to mine and I cannot ignore its call. Think about what we are about to do. There may still be hope for you and Faramir and if there is, we should stop this. But I can't. My soul won't let me. You must make the first move." Legolas looked deep in her eyes. He wanted her and knew he could not stop himself. Eowyn had made her decision and kissed him deeply with a kiss that would have melted the hardest metal. It was full of wanton abandonment and hunger for this Elf who she still loved, despite everything.
Eowyn needed to feel his flesh and pushed her hands inside his robe. She could feel his well chiseled chest through the tunic he wore. It was not enough though. She began undoing the clasps of his silver robe and pushed it from his shoulders. The royal garment pooled in a pile at his feet. Next she undid the tunic, exposing his bare chest to the cool night air. She watched as his muscles heaved up and down with every breath he took. She started kissing and nipping him, letting his smooth skin warm her face. His hands entwined in her hair as he relished the feel of her soft lips on him. Eowyn wasted no time and made short work of the laces of his dark grey leggings. She slipped her hand inside and found him already well endowed. She paused and looked up at him. Legolas smiled down to her with such love in his eyes. Eowyn felt she was making all his dreams come true. This moment they shared would stay with him until the end of his days, so she would make every minute worth while.
"I cannot let you leave without experiencing your love once more." She pushed him back until he was leaning against the tree then she delved into his mouth with an eager tongue. Her body crushed against his and she could feel the pulsing of his arousal. This excited her to know she could cause such a reaction in him. Eowyn knew she was out of her mind to go through with this but she didn't care any more.
Legolas had an abundant measure of sexual tension built up within him but he managed to keep himself in control. This behavior was so unlike him or Elves for that matter. She was not meant to be his, yet here she was, deep in the woods with not another soul around. It was not right. They were betraying Faramir. The voice Legolas heard earlier crept back into his mind and he couldn't understand how this would help her heal. He mentally wrestled with his thoughts even as Eowyn was grinding against his body.
Eowyn's hands were caressing him all over. His body screamed out for release. He made up his mind to let her take him. Legolas took her hands and held them as he gazed into her eyes. "Are you sure you want to do this? If there are any doubts, then we should not continue."
"I am sure Legolas. He is gone. You are not, not yet. I want this one last time, with you. Remind me of how love is supposed to feel." she said melting into his arms.
Legolas kissed her again and as he did he slid his hands to the back of her dress. Releasing the clasp, he slowly and seductively pushed it down her shoulders, exposing her perfect breasts. His hands kneaded them, feeling her nipples on the palms. He took each one in his mouth and explored them with an eager tongue. She was just as delicious as ever.
They finished undressing each other and now stood completely naked and vulnerable in each others presence. Legolas' eyes scanned her entire body. "You are so beautiful, mele…" He almost forgot he was not to call her that anymore.
Eowyn took a step closer to him, taking in the sight of his glowing skin and perfect strapping body. "Go on Legolas. I won't deny you your true feelings tonight. Call me what name you have always thought of me as."
Legolas scooped her up in his arms. Their naked bodies pressed against each other. Nothing hindered the feeling of their flesh. Legolas sighed. "Meleth." he said in a long airy whisper into her ear.
His hot breath sent shivers up and down her entire body. When she was with him, she felt like nothing else existed. It was only them in the world, no worries, no fears, and no abandonment. There was just love and security, warmth and comfort. His presence engulfed her and she sank deeper and deeper into his world. All rationality had escaped her. This was how love was supposed to be. The thought crossed her mind that every woman should be loved by an Elf at least once in their lifetime. It was unlike anything she'd ever experienced.
Slowly, Legolas lowered Eowyn to the forest floor. The newly fallen leaves made a soft bed upon the ground. The trees were their shelter and the warmth of their bodies was like a fire. She felt at home here in the forest with this glorious being.
Legolas wasted no time and lay down on top of her. Her legs parted, welcoming him in. He accepted the invitation and entered her in one smooth movement. As he felt her moist warmth surround him he moaned. "Ai, meleth nin. So long have I wanted this that I thought I would leave these shores never again knowing how good you feel."
"Take me, Legolas. Take me far away into this wonderful place created just for us." Eowyn moaned, feeling him pulsate inside her walls. She wrapped her legs around his waist and brought her hips up to meet his as he slid in and out of her. This was pure bliss, she thought to herself.
They both reached their climax together as if it were a dance. It was a beautiful moment as well as a bittersweet one. As they laid there in each others arms, Eowyn began crying again. Too many different emotions filled her head. She felt the urge to get away again and jumped up, grabbing her clothes. She dressed quickly.
"Where are you going?" Legolas asked, confused by her sudden movement.
"I need to go. I'm very confused right now. I need some time to think." she said as she bent down and kissed Legolas once more. He closed his eyes and absorbed her energy.
Eowyn looked lovingly at him. "I'm sorry. I just need some time alone. Thank you for this. I think I needed to feel real love again and you have given me that. Please, let me be for a while."
Eowyn turned and ran through the trees, back the way she had come. Where would she go? She couldn't go home. Faramir was the last person she wanted to see right now. And she couldn't stay with the Elves. Legolas was hindering her thoughts at the moment. Minas Tirith was the only other option. Arwen would take her in. All she needed to do was get her horse from the stables and hope she didn't run into Faramir. She set her plan into motion and soon found herself at the gate of the White City. It was late into the night when she arrived. Word was sent to the Queen of her unexpected guest. Eowyn made her way to the King's chambers.
Arwen cracked open the door to the waiting area and looked upon Eowyn. She seemed very distraught. "Eowyn? What are you doing here?"
"I have nowhere else to go. Faramir has left me for good this time. I can't go home. Can I stay in your guest quarters?"
Arwen came closer to Eowyn and found her crying and shivering. She looked disheveled, as if she had been in the woods. There were grass stains on her dress and dirt on her shoes.
"Oh my dear. Has something happened to you? You look a mess. There are leaves in your hair." Arwen said pulling leaves from Eowyn's head.
Eowyn's face blushed as she looked at her dress. After making love to Legolas in the woods, she hadn't had a chance to straighten up. "I had to get away from Faramir so I ran into the woods. I sat down to rest and I guess I fell asleep." She couldn't tell Arwen the truth about what she had been doing in the forest.
"Come on." Arwen said taking Eowyn by the hand and leading her down the hall. "Let's get you cleaned up. I'll bring you something to wear then you can tell me what is going on." She led Eowyn to the guest room and went to get clothes for her to wear. In the meantime, Eowyn washed up in the basin, cleaning her dirty tear streaked face and washing the dirt from her arms and legs. She sat down on the edge of the bed. Her mind was racing. What had gone so wrong this night?
Arwen came back with night clothes and a dress for Eowyn to wear in the morning. She found Eowyn fast asleep on the bed. She picked up a throw and covered her friend so she wouldn't get chilled. She would just have to wait until the morning to find out what happened.
This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.