Postcards from B. Baggins: 2. Bundle Two

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2. Bundle Two


[flimsy card: fat black puppy with red bow 'Missin you']

Mithrandir alias Gandalf "The Grey"
Current Residence, if not jail
(Note to postdwarf: look under rocks)
--> (other note: look for grey beard, pointy hat; he probably owes you money)

Greyhame, you con-
Gimme my money or I'll show this photo (copy taped on) to Saruman (he won't be flattered, pally).
With contracted brows,

B. Baggins.

[card: rows of smile-plastered Elves having manicures 'Saunas of Mithlond… let us pamper you']

Elrond Half-Mannish
Last Homely House, Imladris
Eriador ME

Plan on staying for an EXTENDED visit.
Will want the river-view room – the one with the hot tub.

B. Baggins.

PS. Don't worry. I don't use THAT much water.

[card: 'Trollshaws in Spring' herds of frolicking trolls in flowery fields, before distant bluish mountains]

Sackville Bagginses
No. 13 Sackrow, Sackville, S. Farthing
Shire ME

Not dead yet!


[card: 'Take a flatboat down the Great River…']

The Gaffer
No. 3 Bagshot Row, Hobbiton, W. Farthering
Shire ME

Let no one in. I'm sending a package.
Don't open it.
It eats flesh.

B. Baggins.

[card: cheesily smiling bowman 'Anduin Vale's Annual Archery Tournament']

Lord of Eagles
Biggest Nest, Royal Eyries
Misty Mts. ME

Need to stuff pillow.
Wondered if you would provide.

B. Baggins.

[card: jagged, colorless Withered Heath, 'home of one of Arda's more endangered species, which faces extinction due to pollution and development.']

(King) Bard Bowman
Gaudy house with bell thingies, Dale
Wilderland ME

Put a smile on.
I heard Glaurung-the-Great is looking for a new residence.

B. Baggins.

[card: town of plasticy stone houses and people in colonial garb 'Visit historic Númenor… full scale reconstructions! Family fun!']

Mr. Necromancer
Barad-dûr, Gorgoroth Plateau
Mordor ME

Gonna pass through your place. Leave the gates open, would ya?
Gotta go; have things to polish.

B. Baggins

This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.

Story Information

Author: Kitt Otter

Status: General

Completion: Complete

Era: 3rd Age - The Stewards

Genre: Humor

Rating: General

Last Updated: 06/28/10

Original Post: 06/28/10

Go to Postcards from B. Baggins overview


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