Back in Mirkwood, one and a half years ago...
Though she was not conscious Calavénë was aware of her surroundings. She knew Haldir was close and his soothing voice and warm touch kept her alive, at least to some extent. Her body was changing. She could feel her child growing faster. Her fea was broken and though she had told Haldir of it, she feared there was no solution for it. Her body, the shell that carries every fea was still strong but her essence was too weak to remain on Arda. If Haldir does not find the cure, she will travel to the Halls of Mandos.
She wanted to hold him, whisper soothing words. She wanted to tell him of her love but her fea remained floating above her, watching the world in a different view. For the first time in many months she saw the true depth of his feelings for her. There was anguish on his handsome face and guilt... an unsurpassed guilt. She knew he blamed himself for her current state. But it was not his fault... at least not entirely. She had given up hope for she thought her love would remain unrequited. When he found her, she had succumbed to her own grief and her fea began to fade.
Then that day came. She could feel the pain. Her child was on the way. Her body felt like it was tearing in half. Blood oozed between her legs. She screamed but no one could hear her. Haldir caressed her leg and found blood. The pain was so unbearable, Calavénë could not think straight. She did not know what was happening until Lord Elrond came to see her. She was in labour but there was no way she could deliver the child on her own. Lord Elrond took charge and soon the preparations were ready.
A sharp searing pain coursed through her physical body. Elrond had cut her open to save her child. Blood oozed further. Soon the little elfling was pulled out from her womb. She watched anxiously as Lord Elrond tended her newborn. The sound of him crying brought joy to her heart. She felt her fea pulled back towards nothingness and there she stood again in the garden made of clouds. She could no longer see what was happening to her body and it terrified her.
Her fea felt weak. Calavénë fell to the ground, gasping for air. She choked and struggled to breathe. Her eyes began to darken.
Her eyes fluttered open. She felt air filling her lungs again. Warm and strong arms held her, rocking her body back and forth. A smooth melodious voice called out to her. She opened her eyes and saw him... Haldir. She reached out to him, "Haldir..."
She could see the surprise in his eyes. He embraced her and kissed her, not wanting to let go. Calavénë kissed him back in earnest. The feel of his lips on hers was divine. It seemed forever since she touched him. Their kiss ended and Calavénë found herself back to where she was; the garden of clouds. She looked around for him but saw no one. She called out to him but to her dismay she found herself alone.
Calavénë fell to her knees and cried. He was too late... Now she would travel to the Halls of Mandos and perhaps pass to Aman. The wind blew softly and the cloud moved away. Bright sparkly lights teased her eyes. She looked up and saw a magnificent palace, glittering with diamonds and jewels. She stood up and walked towards it.
The entrance was adorned with mithril and coloured jewels. She saw a garden with wonderful fountains and flowers. The mellifluous voice singing could be heard from beyond the courtyard. Calavénë walked slowly towards it. She could see a divine being dressed in white with hair as golden as the sun, dancing from flower to flower. She watched the creature, entranced by her beauty.
"Le suilon, Calavénë Thandiel... Im gelir ceni ad lín..."
Calavénë looked at the mystic queen, Elbereth. She bowed before her, "My lady..."
Elbereth smiled at her, "You have questions henn... Speak..."
Calavénë looked at the Queen of the Valar, "Why is it I am here? I was with Haldir but a moment. I felt his lips upon mine... What happened?"
The Queen of the Valar walked closer to her and held her hand, "You returned to Arda but your fea cannot linger for it is far too broken."
Tears brimmed in Calavénë's eyes, "Then it is my time... to travel to the Halls of Mandos."
Yavanna laughed, "No pen vuin. It is not your time... at least not yet. Your fea needs healing and this could only be done here in the world of souls. The Crescent Bloom has many healing properties including fusing the fea back together but I fear it was administered a little too late. You would stay here until your fea is whole again. Then when I see it fit, I will return you back to Arda to be with the ones you love."
Calavénë was confused, "Returned to Arda? How is this possible?"
Elbereth placed an arm about Calavénë's shoulders, "Consider it a gift from us for the extraordinary love you have inside you. The strength of your love for Haldir and your child. You gave up your purity to win his heart. Though it did not sit well with some of us, we all agreed it was a great sacrifice. You put your ion's life before you and that pen vuin deserves an award."
Happiness flooded her whole being. She was to return to Haldir and her ion. Tears fell from her eyes, "Le hannon..."
The Queen of the Valar smiled and led her further into the gardens, "Come... Let us begin your healing."
Calavénë did not know how long she had been in the world of souls. It seemed forever but her fea felt stronger. Her heart longed to return but there was no word from the Valar. Calavénë sat quietly near in the garden. Her mind was preoccupied. She did not notice Yavanna taking form beside her, "What troubles you pen dithen?"
Calavénë was startled but managed a smile, "Nothing of great importance."
Elbereth smiled, "Do you know what today is?"
Calavénë shook her head. It had been a long time and she had lost track of time. Everything seemed to move slowly here. Elbereth took her hand, "It is your ion's begetting day..."
It had been a year. Was it really that long? She looked at the Vala, "My ion is one year old today and I am not there for him."
Yavanna laughed, "On the contrary, you would give him his greatest gift..."
Calavénë turned to look at her, "I do not understand, my queen..."
Elbereth stroked her golden hair, "Today you will return to Arda... To him, your ion and to Haldir."
Calavénë's heart pounded in her chest, "How?"
The Queen of the Valar leaned in and kissed her temple, "Close your eyes henn..."
The sound of Mae yawning broke her reverie. She looked at her little warrior. She was gladdened to return home to him. She had closed her eyes like she was told and when she opened them; there they were, kneeling on the earth. She called to Haldir but he would not open his eyes. Calavénë walked closer and kissed the warrior's lips. Finally when he did open his eyes, she was in his arms again.
Haldir was lost for words when he saw her. There were tears in his eyes and he held her for a long time. Calavénë missed this, the closeness between them, his scent and the feel of his strong chest. Haldir stroked her hair, "Tell me I am not dreaming. Tell me you are here..."
Calavénë pulled away and kissed him again, "I am here... You are not dreaming."
Haldir smiled and turned little Mae around, "Mae... this is your naneth."
Calavénë looked at the little elfling in Haldir's arms, "Ion nin... I have missed you. Have you missed me?"
Mae looked at his nana wide eyed. He then looked at Haldir once more, "Ada... she has golden hair like me."
Haldir laughed. The weight in his heart lifted, "That is because she is your nana. Have I not told you that your hair looks like hers?"
Mae nodded and looked at Calavénë once again. He held out his little hands and embraced her face, "Nana..."
Calavénë smiled and took him in his arms, "Ion nin... Le melon... Le melon..."
Haldir stood up pulling Calavénë up, "Come let us return home. I have much to ask and tell you."
Calavénë nodded, "Yes... I would love that very much."
Mae sat up looking around the room. He saw his nana watching him sleep, "Nana! There you are!" He jumped into her arms, knocking her chin in the process.
Calavénë gasped, "Ouch! Mae! Be still or you will wake your ada."
Mae turned to look at his ada, "Shh... Nana... I am hungry."
Calavénë laughed and carried her ion with her, "Come. Let us go to the kitchen and have some raspberry jam with bread. Would you like that?"
Mae nodded, "Yes! I love raspberry jam!"
Calavénë smiled, "Mae! You said raspberry correctly!"
The little warrior frowned, "I have always said that, raspberry. What is the matter nana?"
Calavénë shook her head, "Nothing meleth. Come, let us break our fast and then I will give you a bath."
Calavénë returned to the nursery with a wet and happy Mae in her arms. She dressed him in a green tunic and brown leggings and placed him in his cot again. She took the steel horse Gimli gave her ion for his first begetting and handed it to him, "Mae, behave. I have work to do and I still have to wake your ada up. Will you stay here and be nice?'
Mae sucked on the head of the horse and replied breezily, "I will but later I want honey cakes."
Calavénë smiled and shook her head. Mae was very much like Haldir, always getting his way. She closed the door to the nursery and made her way to the bedroom. Haldir was still asleep on their bed. She crawled slowly to his side and looked at his handsome face. She traced the outline of his brow and kissed his temple.
She was caught by surprise when Haldir opened his eyes and pulled her into his embrace, "Are you spying on me, elleth?"
Calavénë wriggled in his arms, "Unhand me! I thought you to be noble and yet here you are tormenting a married elleth."
Haldir growled, "Married? I bet your hervenn could not please you like I will..."
Calavénë pushed him away, "Let go of me. No... Please let me go..."
Haldir pulled her closer and kissed her with ardour and urgency. Their kisses turned into passionate display of love and when both lay satiated by their lovemaking, Calavénë giggled and looked at her hervenn, "That was out of this world..."
Haldir laughed, "I told you I could love you better than your hervenn. I am after all the Marchwarden of Lorien."
Calavénë snuggled closer to her hervenn, "Yes. Yes you are but you are MY Marchwarden. My own..."
Le suilon, Calavénë Thandiel... Im gelir ceni ad lín – greeting upon thee Calavene daughter of Thand. It is good to see you again
Pen vuin – dear one
Pen dithen – little one
Nana/naneth – mother
Ada – father
Ion nin – my son
Meleth – love
Hervenn – husband
Elleth – female elf
With that I thank you! I hope you had fun reading the story as much as I did writing it. I would like to thank all my reviewers for encouraging me with your kind words. You have been my strength and I look forward to writing more stories for you. Thank you once again and I would love to hear from you guys one last time :)
This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.