Elena Tiriel's 2010 Birthday Gifts!: 3. A Question of Dialect — thelauderdale

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3. A Question of Dialect — thelauderdale

A Question of Dialect
by thelauderdale

"It's been sorted, Milord," the Orc informed him.  "A goblin contingent from the Misty Mountains misunderstood an order.  Their commander told them to shoot the horses, but they thought he said to aim for the wheels."

If Sauron's hand had been corporeal he would have smacked his similarly embodied forehead.  "This is outrageous.  I devised the Black Speech so that such things would not happen.  I crafted this beautiful language and instructed my creatures in every aspect of its form, but absent a few centuries' watchfulness they have fallen back into dialect and disarray.  What good is all of my Standardization if the dregs of my army will not use the noble grammar I have given them?"

"With respect, Milord, I don't think the problem is grammatical.  It's more an issue of the homophones involved: northern snaga rukul and Mordor rûk."

"Oh, that makes it so much better," said Sauron icily.  "I should just be glad they don't speak Dwarvish or they would have followed orders to shoot each other!"

Udalug's brow creased but he forbore angering his master further.  In Sauron's current mood he would not have appreciated a reminder that the Khuzdul plural for "Orc" was actually Rakhâs.


Rukul ("wheel"; Svartiska Orkish, a Swedish conlang)
Rûk ("horse"; Land Of Shadow Black Speech, devised by Scatha)
Rukhs, pl. Rakhâs ("Orc"; Tolkien's Khuzdul)

This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.

Story Information

Author: Elena Tiriel

Status: General

Completion: Complete

Era: Other

Genre: General

Rating: General

Last Updated: 04/04/10

Original Post: 03/15/10

Go to Elena Tiriel's 2010 Birthday Gifts! overview


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Playlists Featuring the Story

2010 HASA Birthday Stories - 11 stories - Owner: 2010 HASA Birthday Cards
Story lists of the 2010 birthday present stories given to HASA members.
Included because: Elena Tiriel's 2010 birthday drabbles.

Forums linked to the story

Elena Tiriel - Star Gazings - 180 posts

I am a new author who is serious about improving my writing. Your comments, both positive and negative, will be treasured, evaluated, and incorporated freely!

Thank you in advance for your time and effort.

My fiction includes:

Fell and Fair (for the Sons of Elrond at the Field of Celebrant and the Alternate Perspectives Challenges)

ET's Legolas Song Parodies (for the International Legolas Month Song Parody Palooza Challenge)

Famous First Lines (for the It Was a Dark and Stormy Night Challenge)

Holiday Carols, Middle Earth-style (for the Carols in Middle-earth Challenge)

and numerous drabbles, including: Alas, Poor Ufthak!

I also compiled many entries for the HASA Resource Library, including the following small sampling:

Interesting People to Meet & Greet:
Orophin & Rúmil, The Bardings, and The Beornings

Cool Places to See & Be Seen:
The Elf-path, The Forest Gate, The High Pass of Rivendell, The Old Forest Road, Undertowers, The Westmarch, and Libraries of the Shire

Wild Fauna to Look (Out) For:
Black Squirrels, Butterflies, Hunting Dogs, The Kine of Araw, Giant Bats, Giant Moths, and Giant Spiders

Toothsome Treats to Eat:
Honey-cakes of the Beornings

Magical Powers to Admire (from a safe distance):
The Unlight of Ungoliant

Great Literature to Read:
The Red Book, The Thain's Book - Annotated Copy of the Red Book, Findegil's Copy of the Thain's Book, The Akallabêth, Herblore of the Shire, Old Words and Names in the Shire, The Reckoning of Years, The Tale of Aragorn and Arwen, The Tale of Years, and Translations from the Elvish

Important Events to Remember:
The Invasion of Calenardhon by Balchoth and Orcs, and The Battle of Dale and Siege of Erebor

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