Stuff 'n Nonsense: 1. The Uruk Mash

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1. The Uruk Mash

(to the tune of "Monster Mash")



Saruman:
I was working in the cavern late one night
when my eyes beheld an eerie site
A monster from the slime began to rise
And suddenly, to my surprise....

Orcs:
He did the Mash....

Saruman:
He did the Uruk Mash...

Orcs:
The Uruk Mash....

Saruman:
It was an Orthanc smash....

Orcs:
The Uruk Mash....


Saruman:
It caught on in a flash...

. Orcs:
The Uruk Mash....

Saruman:
He did the Uruk Mash.....

He rose with a roar, seized an orc by the throat
And I knew in a moment he could rock Gandalf's boat
And kick his puny fellowship right where it hurts
What shall I call him? how about 'Lurtz'?

Orcs:
He'll do the Mash....

Saruman:
He'll do the Uruk Mash....

Orcs:
The Uruk Mash....

Saruman:
Middle Earth he will trash....

Orcs:
The Uruk Mash.... Saruman:
With the Titans they'll clash....

Orcs:
The Uruk Mash....

Saruman:
He'll do the Uruk Mash....

The goblins were having fun
The party had just begun
The guests included Grima
aka Wormtongue.....

Orcs:
We did the Mash....

Saruman:
They did the Uruk Mash.... Orcs:
The Uruk Mash....

Saruman:
They were having a bash....

Orcs:
The Uruk Mash....

Saruman:
Better than reading slash....

Orcs:
The Uruk Mash....

Saruman:
They did the Uruk Mash!

[Lurtz leads the Orcs in a heavy footed dance while Saruman looks on in fascinated pride]

Out of the palantir Sauron's voice did ring
Seems he was troubled by just one thing
"Stop fooling around, Saruman, no time to be smarmy
Rip down those apple trees and build me an army!"

Orcs:
So we can Mash....

Saruman:
So you can Uruk Mash....

Orcs:
The Uruk Mash....

Saruman:
Gandalf's party you'll crash.....

Orcs:
The Uruk Mash....

Saruman:
You will settle their hash....

Orcs:
The Uruk Mash....

Saruman:
You'll do the Uruk Mash!

Now everything's cool, I've raised up quite a band
Each bearing the mark of my lily white hand
Go find that Ringbearer, bring him back live and kickin'
Then for dinner you'll taste something far better than chicken!

Orcs & Uruks:
We'll do the Mash....

Saruman:
You'll do the Uruk Mash....

Lurtz:
We'll eat man flesh....

Saruman:
As I twirl my mustache....

Uruks:
Elf chicks we'll flash....

Saruman:
Sauron won't bat a lash....

Orcs:
The Uruk Mash....

Saruman:
You'll do the Uruk Mash.....

[The Orcs all join hands and dance in a ring around Saruman, who holds his staff aloft with gleeful chuckles]

This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.

Story Information

Author: Armariel

Status: General

Completion: Ongoing Serial

Era: Multi-Age

Genre: Humor

Rating: General

Last Updated: 09/24/09

Original Post: 09/08/07

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