The Boyfriend: 1. He's in the Kitchen

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1. He's in the Kitchen

The creak of the front door pulls me back from my mindless cruising. It is 2:00 a.m. and I haven't written a word for hours, but I did read a seemingly endless loop of more and more obscure academic articles. Unfortunately, the tastiest remain hidden behind subscription services, the annual fees for which could only fit the budget of a full-service university.

I have to stop letting the time get away from me like this. How did it start? Oh, yeah, looking for an Elvish word for lust. Highly unlikely Tolkien created that one. What did Naomi tell me? If there were one, it would have been invented by Morgoth. Sounds great but no help.

"Lucy? Is that you, honey?" I call. She appears in the doorway. My heart melts. My youngest. Ten years of ballet classes and the best gifted-and-talented programs the public schools have to offer show on her.

"Mom, remember that guy I met?"

Huh? Which of the two dozen guys I've heard about in the last couple of months, might that one be? The one from city university, from acting class, from the restaurant, at the corner deli, on the subway, in the dentist office… You get my drift. The kid is a guy magnet and friendly too.

"Which one?"

"I told you. The quiet one. Well, I thought he was quiet. Remember. I said he was kind of the hipster type?" The girl likes her boyfriends with complexities: too young, too old, artists, musicians, unpublished screenwriters, actors (preferably out-of-work or never employed), and so on... Her favorite put down is: "He's too white bread." Hey, what's wrong with a bright young doctor or lawyer (employed)? Or a garbage man (regular union job, great benefits), or a fireman (another union job)?  Firemen are hot, fit, and good looking. Everybody likes firemen.

I stand waiting. I can feel my mouth is hanging open. No, this one always needs feedback. I won't get more without speaking.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"He's not really such a hipster, more Euro-trashy I'd say. At least I thought that a few hours ago. Now, well…now, I don't know. He's special. I'd say my gaydar was going off—he's too perfect—only I can tell he likes me… He's in the kitchen. Will you take a look? Just say 'hi.' Please…"

"Oh, Lucy. It's 2:00 a.m. Look at me." Sure. Nobody cares what a woman of certain age looks like in her own home at two in the morning. But my son's Bob Marley t-shirt (too tight across the stomach, too big everywhere else) and faded flannel pajama bottoms are below even my standards.

"Here put these on," she says, throwing my jeans at me. "Tuck the shirt in."


Definitions of Americanisms will be gladly provided upon request.

This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.

Story Information

Author: oshun

Status: General

Completion: Work in Progress

Era: Other

Genre: General

Rating: General

Last Updated: 10/10/06

Original Post: 10/06/06

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WARNING! Comments may contain spoilers for a chapter or story. Read with caution.

The Boyfriend

JunoMagic - 07 Oct 06 - 1:53 AM

Ch. 1: He's in the Kitchen

LOL! I love the characterization of the girl. "He's too white bread." The poor mother! And I loved the line about the firemen, I'm still chuckling: "Firemen are hot, fit, and good looking. Everybody likes firemen." Laugh out loud

And am I wrong to assume that mom was in the process of writing LOTR fanfic? Tee hee hee! Now I can't wait to meet the new boyfriend.

Thank you so much! Heart

The Boyfriend

Jael - 07 Oct 06 - 1:13 PM

Ch. 1: He's in the Kitchen

Aha!  This one shows promise -- who is he? I await the update with bated breath!

The Boyfriend

oshun - 07 Oct 06 - 1:16 PM

Ch. 1: He's in the Kitchen

Thanks for the comments, JuneMagic. Yes, the mom is "trying" to write LOTR fanfiction. (Talk about shameless self-insertion into a fic!) Thanks for the push/prompt/permission to try such a story. It promises to be fun writing.

Happy Birthday!


The Boyfriend

oshun - 07 Oct 06 - 1:23 PM

Ch. 1: He's in the Kitchen

Thanks, Jael; if I had written single word more, you would surely have guessed. It will definitely come out in the next segment. By the way, I am enjoying your "Not Fade Away" very much.


The Boyfriend

Marta - 13 Oct 06 - 7:36 AM

Ch. 1: He's in the Kitchen

I love it so far. By all means keep writing. You definitely have my attention - there's a realism and humor, but I also can't wait to figure out who Lasse is. :-)

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Playlists Featuring the Story

JunoMagic's Birthday Stories Playlist 2006 - 5 stories - Owner: JunoMagic
It's so amazing, I got stories with multiple chapters dedicated to my birthday this year! As you can't really add those to an ordinary birthday card story, I've decided to make a playlist for those stories. Here's what I asked for: I'm turning 31 on October 23, and here's my wish: I'd like to see characters from "Lord of the Rings" in our world. So that would be (depending on your interpretation of what Middle-earth is) a drabble/ficlet that crosses time and/or dimensions. The only caveat: please no parody or something like that! (For one thing, that would be too easy *wink*; for another, my husband says I have no sense of humour to begin with...). If that idea inspires anyone at all, I would be very grateful!
Included because: Oshun wrote this wonderful story for my birthday. It's really great: it has it all, meta-fanfic and surprises... :-) Thank you again!

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