24. Where Am I? Do You Know?
Where Am I? Do you Know?
Her sleep was no more peaceful this night then it had been for many nights past. Finally throwing off the covers she rose and poured herself a cup of water from the pitcher on a nearby table. She had a strong feeling of things were about to go terribly wrong but was unable to understand what its cause was.
"Lirimaer, you cannot sleep again?" came the concerned deep male voice she loved so well.
Startled she whirled around towards the dark shadow of her lover lounging in the large chair near the open balcony doors. She couldn't remember either going to him or his coming to her. She struggled to remember. Looking around the room she recognised it was his. For some reason she was no longer able to call him to her. When had things changed? Why had things changed?
"Lirimaer?" he said again, raising from the chair a concerned expression on his face. "What is wrong?"
This dream was different from the rest they had shared. The elf lord frowned at the elleth who stood looking at him. She had been unusually quiet ever since she had arrived and he could not read her as he usually could. The passion of their lovemaking had carried a thread of sadness, almost desperation. He was aware that elleths could have strange moods but this had never happened with her. He was puzzled.
"Lirimaer, what is wrong?" he repeated.
She searched his face intently for something but did not find it. She smiled sadly and crossed to him. She lifted a handful of his silky hair and ran her fingers through it.
"Meleth nin, it seems that we may be near the end of these wonderful dreams," she whispered as tears glistened in her amber brown eyes.
"What do you mean? Why should they end?"
"It may be necessary to sever the dream paths between us because you have become too real. I can no longer separate the world I have created with you from the real world beyond my dreams. Out there I must face the reality you have allowed me to ignore when we are here."
He frowned, "These have been as much my dreams as they have been yours.
"No, meleth nin, these are my dreams."
He was about to disagree, but the look on her face stopped him. He pulled her into his arms, "Lirimaer, for these past years you have filled the empty nights that haunt my life. I cannot let that cease"
She sighed and rested her head against his shoulder. "Meleth nin, even if we should meet in that world beyond these dreams, then I will never acknowledge what we have shared in these dreams; ever. There at most we can only become casual acquaintances."
"That is preposterous, if we are so blessed to find each other, why should we not make this part of our life there." He demanded.
"My life there is complicated. Yours may be too."
"It would only matter if we have mates," he acknowledged quietly. He looked deeply into her eyes trying to find the answer to the question he was afraid to ask.
"Or other family that could object or be hurt by such a relationship."
He considered that for some time before speaking carefully. "If I did have family, that could present some difficulties. But it would not prove impossible."
She pulled free from him. "And what if our families are far apart in their rank and positions? What if the responsibilities would prevent our relationship from ever being accepted?"
The elf lord turned and began pacing up and down the room. Finally he stopped in front of her. "I will not promise now."
"But," he went on, "if we do meet and I can overcome any opposition I will try. If I fail and all I can ever have of you is what we have here, than I will reluctantly accept it. I will not give you up."
She smiled at his determination. She had already made up her mind. She now understood what she had feared before.
He picked her up in his arms and carried her back to the bed. His lovemaking was intense as he strove to overcome her fears. He was determined he would bind her to him with their mutual need.
"Meleth nin," she cried out as they climbed the magical heights and plunged over together, "I love you."
This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.