42. Chapter 42
Fari wandered through the party for Eomer and Moira’s betrothal and sighed. He’d had a bit of a row with Goldi and now he couldn’t find her. She’d been pestering him about a dance and, as always, he’d refused. Finally she’d just said “Fine!” and stomped off.
He’d though nothing of it at first. He’d gone to sit with Theo and Frodo, but they were busy with wives and children. Emerald was pregnant again and Fari didn’t want to hear about babies. He’d tried to find Eomer, but he and Moira were busy with guests. Even his brothers were off with the Gamgee boys. So he was alone and now he missed Goldi. But he couldn’t find her.
He frowned. She wasn’t in her usual places--with her sisters or Moira or her mum. She wasn’t with Ivy or Éowyn, or playing with his own sisters. He was starting to worry, wondering where she’d gone. Had he made her that angry because he wouldn’t dance with her? He looked towards the gathering around the dancing. He hadn’t checked there yet. Maybe she had gone to watch? He supposed he was being stupid about dancing, but he just didn’t enjoy it. He sighed. He should probably just give in and dance with her once, to make her happy.
He went over near the musicians, searching the crowd for Goldi, but he didn’t see here there either. Then he glanced at the dancers and his heart stopped when he caught sight of the flash of golden hair. Goldi was in the midst of them, dancing and laughing--with another lad.
He suddenly couldn’t breath. His mouth was dry and he felt nauseous and shaky. Goldi twirled around in the dance and she saw him. Their eyes met but Fari couldn’t stay, he didn’t want to see her laughing face, her hand holding the hand of that other lad.
He turned and rushed away, the blood pounding in his ears, heading into Brandy Hall. He needed to get away from everyone. She’d left him. He’d driven her away. He thought he heard someone call his name--Eomer, perhaps?--but he didn’t stop to find out.
He went to his guest room, slamming the door behind him. His heart was pounding in his ears. He’d pushed Goldi away again and now she’d found someone else. She didn’t want him anymore. And it was all his fault.
He lay down on the bed, curling into a tight ball. He was still shaking. He was angry at himself for being such an idiot. All because of a stupid dance. Goldi had left him and he was all alone now.
He was barely aware of the sound of the door opening. Then a gentle hand touched his shoulder.
“What’s the matter, Fari?” Goldi asked. She sat on the edge of the bed, keeping her hand on his shoulder. “I saw you leave suddenly and I followed you, and Eomer said you didn’t look right...” She leaned over to rest her cheek on his arm. “What’s wrong? Are you sick?”
He rolled over to look at her. It took him a moment to get his voice to work. “Are you going to leave me?”
She sat up and frowned at him. “Leave you? Why would you think that?”
He rolled back to look at the wall. “Because I wouldn’t dance with you and then you found that other lad who would,” he mumbled. “Do you like him better than me?”
“What are you talking about? Didn’t you even notice who I was dancing with?” she scolded. “Look at me, Faramir!” He rolled back over. She was frowning at him, eyes narrowed. “It was your cousin Adelgrin! Fern wanted to go get a drink and they saw me watching the dancing and she handed Addy over to me for a dance! Why would you think--?”
Fari gasped, just registering what she was saying. That it had only been his cousin Addy, Uncle Everard’s son, who was very happily married. He hadn’t even seen who she was dancing with, he’d been so focused on her, on Goldi being with someone else. “Sorry,” he mumbled and rolled back towards the wall. He’d made a fool of himself--a Fool of a Took--and he fought to push all those feelings that had been eating at him away, the fear and the jealousy and the anger. “I was being stupid,” he said, barely above a whisper. “I was afraid you left me because I was being an idiot. Because I wouldn’t dance with you. I didn’t think you wanted me any more.”
“Fari.” She lay down next to him, spooning behind him, and slid her arm around him to press her hand to his chest. He grasped her hand, holding it tight against his fluttering heart. She rested her head against his, her breath warming his ear. “I love you,” she whispered. “I promise I won’t ever leave you. Especially not over a stupid dance. I only want you.”
He swallowed a sob and rolled over to face her. He pulled her close and kissed her. She moaned when he deepened the kiss, plunging his tongue into her mouth, and he had to fight the urge to push his hardening arousal against her. He wanted her so much, to make her his for real, but he knew she wouldn’t want to. So he made himself pull back to look in her eyes. “I love you,” he said breathlessly.
She smiled and ran her fingers through his hair. “I know you do. And don’t you ever doubt that I love you.” She tugged at one of his curls. “And just because I dance with some other lad doesn’t mean anything! There’s no one else I want to be with. Only you. All right?” He nodded and she gave him a quick kiss. “Now, how about we go back to the party? You’ll feel better after you’ve stuffed yourself full of my pastries.”
He smiled at a memory, a joke from long ago, and some of his tension melted away. “Did you put worms in them?”
She stood up and grinned back at him. “Just for you, love.”
She took his hands and pulled him up from the bed, but before she could turn away to go to the door he caught her and wrapped his arms around her. “I don’t want to go back out there,” he murmured into her hair. “I want to stay here with you.”
“Fari,” she sighed. “My father would murder us if we were found in your room.”
He groaned. She was right. And he most certainly didn’t want to get caught in here by anyone, especially her father. But he didn’t want to go back out to the crowd either. He wanted--needed--Goldi to himself for a while. He stepped back and took her hand. “Want to go see if there’s any cake in the kitchen?”
She shook her head. “There’s a ton of food outside.”
“I know.” He shrugged, not sure how to explain. “I just...want to spend some time with you. Just us.”
She studied him, biting her lip, then she nodded. “All right.”
The kitchen was empty, everyone out enjoying Eomer and Moira’s party. There wasn’t any cake, but Fari managed to find half a cherry pie in the pantry. They sat at the kitchen table and shared it right from the pie plate.
They startled when the kitchen door opened. It was Ivy, carrying Sar in her arms. “Oh! What are you two doing in here?”
Fari shrugged. “We needed to have a talk.”
Ivy cocked her head at them. “Everything all right?”
“Yes.” He gave a wry smile. “I was being an idiot. We figured it out.”
“You Took lads,” Ivy chuckled, shaking her head. “Well, you should probably head back out soon before Sam starts wondering where you’ve gone.” She winked at them and headed over to the basin. With the baby in one arm, she was still able to work the pump and wet a cloth. Then she came over and sat at the table with them. “Sar made a bit of a mess,” she said and wiped the baby’s mouth and chin and down the front of his gown. “Nothing I’m not used to, love,” she cooed at him. Then she dropped the cloth on the table and cuddled Sar to her chest, kissing his brow. “I miss having babies,” she sighed.
Fari frowned, a little worried. “I’m not going to get anymore brothers and sisters, am I?”
Ivy looked up at him and laughed. “Oh, no! Don’t worry, I’m not planning on any more.” She grinned. “I’ll just have to look forward to being a grandmother.” She looked pointedly at Fari. “But I’m not in any hurry. I can wait at least five years.”
Fari’s cheeks burned and he glanced at Goldi. Her cheeks were just as red. “We know that,” he mumbled.
“Oh, Fari,” Ivy chuckled. “It’s my job to embarass you. Estella did it to me all the time and Éowyn still does. That’s what mums do.” She turned her attention back to the baby in her arms. “Right, dearest? Us mums are supposed to tease our children.”
Fari smiled at her words, his embarrassment fading. He was so grateful that Ivy was his mum, that when he had children someday they would have her as their grandmother. He didn’t even want to imagine what could have been if his dad hadn’t been able to get rid of Diamond.
“Oh, sorry, love, you won’t get anything there,” Ivy said to the baby. Sar had turned in her arms and was rooting at her breast, his tiny fingers grabbing at the laces of her bodice. She looked up at Fari and Goldi and smiled. “Time for us to go look for Mum.”
After Ivy left, Fari turned to Goldi. “I suppose we should go, too.” They’d been gone a while and he really didn’t want her dad getting suspicious.
She took his hand. “Are you sure?”
He nodded. “Yes. I’m fine now.” He smiled at her and leaned over to kiss her. He really did feel better now. Goldi still loved him.
This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.