Mathom Challenge: 16. Eru Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

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16. Eru Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

In Gondor there are gentlemen
Arrayed as Knights in glory
In the Shire there are Halflings
Who love a good night story.
In Rohan there are Rohirrim
Who love their horses more – y
And – all come to Crickhollow for a bath, for a bath
And – all come to Crickhollow for a bath.
('bout time some would say of a certain Ranger)

In Lothlorien the Elves lay low
They never pass their borders.
In Rivendell Lord Elrond's folks
Tell tales of Mordor's
Fell beasts, ringwraiths, and wraiths on wings
All kinds of foul, stinking Lord – ors
And – Galadriel she brings her pitcher full, pitcher full
And – Galadriel she brings her pitcher full.

In the Barrow-downs the barrow wights
Have all conspired to kill us.
And Prince Imrahil of Dol Amroth
Is not above a bit of fuss
He wants the throne, he needs the throne
Though Denethor his name will cuss
And – fire and water do not mix, do not mix
And – fire and water do not mix

So - Eru rest ye merry gentlemen
And all the Elves together
And Hobbits too – must not forget
That through all kinds of weather
Nine nervous Nazgûl do what they can
To make the Dark Lord happy.
Including taking baths with anything nasty, anything nasty.
Including taking baths with anything nasty.

(Left out a character Or two or three or four – forgive me!
Ents – walking tall - I've missed the lot
Oh and Dwarves – I'm very sorry - Beornings, Maier, Wild Men,
Orcs – spiders – Urak-hai –
But I'll drop down dead before I say anything about that Gollum-y creature, Gollum-y creature)
Yes, I'll drop down dead before I say anything about that Gollum.)


This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.

Story Information

Author: Agape4Gondor

Status: Reviewed

Completion: Complete

Era: 3rd Age - Ring War

Genre: Humor

Rating: General

Last Updated: 02/25/06

Original Post: 12/03/05

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