4. Chapter Four
Celebrimbor watches me, as I pull the robe over my shoulders, preparing to leave. His face is set and strange. I am worried.
Finally, I turn to him, and smile warmly, hoping he will let me go peacefully.
“Yes, my radiant Sun?”
He does not smile back at me, and my stomach muscles tense painfully. I could still be in danger here.
But I need to get to Mordor.
He rises, and walks towards me, his eyes cold, alarming me greatly.
And now I see, that in his hand he does hold the Elven blade, this time.
My nerves are shredding, but I feign calm. I open my arms for him, and conceal my stress.
Celebrimbor speaks very quietly, and I struggle to control my trembling. I hate situations like this. Fear is always difficult for me. I am not proud of it.
“Stay. Do not go out that door, Annatar.”
I beam at him, in ridiculous warmth. He is not having it.
“I will return soon, beloved. You know I need to go- but it will not be long.” Nervous, I walk to meet him, and put my arms around him. My eyes glance down at the blade, too obviously.
“Do you think I would ever harm you? I would not- no matter what. I will never hurt you.”
His words are deeply troubling, and I laugh, saying:
“Hurt me? Nay, why do you say such things! Of course I did not think that!”
Finally, his face lightens somewhat, and he smiles slightly. He wraps long arms around me, and buries his face in my hair.
I break the embrace at length, and smiling like a fool, kiss him on the lips, gently.
“Now- I must go- I will return before too long. Keep our bed safe and warm for our reunion.”
He grips my arms hard, and draws back. His face is distraught- he is not being cold, he is on the verge of tears. Nauseated by this, I grit my teeth.
“Do not go- Sauron.”
I gasp audibly, and freeze in horror. I look at him in utter shock and fear. He knows, he knows!
“Yes, I know who you are. I did not for a very long time. But in the last few months, I learned of this. It does not matter how.”
Elrond!, I curse to myself.
Celebrimbor looks into my frightened eyes, and speaks very clearly:
“I love you. You know this. I know your hideous past, and yet, I love you, liar, deceiver, as you are. Stay here with me, Annatar, Sauron, stay, make a life with me, leave the wickedness behind you. I will never divulge who you are. I will never betray you, or allow anyone to harm you.”
For a long moment I remain speechless, still stunned.
Finally, I shake my head, backing away from him, and my eyes go to the blade again.
He frowns, sadly, and places the blade into its scabbard at his hip.
“If I had a mind to harm you, I would have slain you already. For you have given me reason enough, by your potential threat! Do you still not understand? I love you- do you not understand love? The three hundred years we have shared this bed, I have thought of none but you. Now that I know another name for you, my love is not stilled, nor is it quenched.”
Melkor. I recall the black hair, the violence of his love, the oath to him.
Him, I love
“I cannot stay.” I whisper, still moving away.
“Please. Please do not leave. I cannot bear it.” Celebrimbor humbles his proud elven spirit- he is begging me!
Repulsed, I slip a leg over the windowsill, and again shake my head.
“No, Star of Eregion. I cannot. A lie discovered is a threat uncovered. I must go.”
I put a finger to my lips and smile at him, and obscenely, blow him a kiss. And then I am gone, as silently as I came.
Behind me, the Elves- and before me- the Fire Mountain- and my Destiny.
As I ride the coal black steed, I daydream of the Other- my lover, my teacher, my Lord.
The Mighty One, who had wasted no time at all in dominating me, and I had swooned under his power gladly, and our joy had mingled in the nights countless.
Virgin I was, when Melkor came to me, and my fear- my too-often friend! –had encompassed me, and I had tried to stall, to ask him of Arda, and anything I could think of.
Nervous, badly frightened, I racked my mind for questions to ask, for distractions.
He was so close now, I could feel his burning breath.
He had indulged me for a time, and then approached me with a sly smile on his handsome visage, and backed me against a pillar in Utumno. He had leaned down to reach my mouth, and his lips were very hot, very eager.
“Golden Flame.” he had whispered to me, and then his hand had found what it sought, and his fingers reached under the plain black robe I wore, fondling, making me rise, making me moan.
Desire, new and sweet, had coursed through me, making me tingle and flush, my young heart racing. He had pressed his tremendous maleness against mine, and for a long ecstatic moment we merely thrust together, making sparks and smoldering heat.
And then his famous impatience showed itself, and he pulled me down to the black floor of the Pit. I opened my legs to him as I had seen the females do with their males on Arda, ignorant but excited, and Melkor gazed at me with his fierce and blazing eyes.
He had licked one huge finger with a snakelike tongue, and then slipped it into me, slowly, and I had cried out in pleasure, bucking up against his hand. Such bliss!
He stroked me inside, rubbing something I did not even know I had, and sharp jolts of sensation caused me to grasp his arm, and I delighted in the power I felt there.
He had smiled at me, and pulled out his finger too fast, and I felt pain then, the first.
And he descended on me, between my legs, pulling them apart, far apart, and the pain, again.
Why was he being so rough now? My heart pounded in restrained fear, and then- oh, then- he entered me, and all my ignorance left me, and I understood, in terrible clarity, and screamed, in pure torment, and equal passion.
Melkor had driven himself into me so hard and deep that I had limped for days, and my mind reeled at the pain and pleasure, so strangely mingled.
Behind the corridors and in the shadows we were watched, and observed, but I did not care.
My limbs ached horribly, and my back was torn on the hard ground, but all I could perceive then was the sight of my dark lover, wings spread out above me, moving with preternatural grace and terrible strength.
And in the darkness, I wept and moaned, and swore myself to Melkor, and felt nothing but the ecstasy of our mutual climax, as the fires roared, and the creatures gibbered in glee.
As the wind blows through my long hair, I recall, and am aroused yet, in the recalling.
Oh, my Tano. My teacher. My Soul.
This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.