This is my first story. I hope you like it!
Scene 1: the shire. Frodo is sittting in a field while jacking off and reading porn. Gandalf comes and beats frodo over the head with his staff for not sharing his rather impressive PlayHobbit collection with him.
Scene 2: Nazgul butt-rapes Frodo on his way out of the shire. Need I say more?
Scene 3: Aragorn mistakes frodo for a half-priced male prostitute.
Sam kills him for trying something.
Scene 4: As Aragorn gatheres
, arwen comes with her sword. The reason for this is that one must catch a ranger off his guard in order to shave him.
Scene 5: Bilbo's farewell speech summarized: 'Later, Bitches!'
Scene 6: As the nazgul sniffs for the hobbits, Frodo asks Merry: 'You left your crack on the road, didn't you?'
This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.