Songs of Sorrow: 1. Songs of Sorrow

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1. Songs of Sorrow

Prologue: Haldir remembers

My heart has been cold these ages past. We followed my lord in taking that dreadful oath. In horror we arrived on blood-stained quays as the Swan-ships departed. In anger we journeyed North on that long, arduous march. I hate the ice now, although I have never seen its like again. Flesh cleaved to metal, leather stiffened to iron, eyes froze.
And I lost you.

Sometimes I climb the mountains in winter; I lift my face to drifting snowflakes and remember the chill of our last kiss, your freezing lips on mine; then my hot tears wash them away.

Gluttony: Morgoth’s Ruin

It never left him – the hunger. However much he consumed, he was never sated. Whereas he might once have controlled his voracious appetite, he chose to give it full reign; now, it all but devoured him.

Power, absolute power, tastes so sweet on the tongue. Its corruption is as insidious as decay attacking a healthy tooth. The rot finds a tiny weakness and destroys from within. Morgoth had long ago developed a sweet-toothed yearning for power; now it was a constant nagging ache impossible to satisfy… The Silmarils – his mouth watered at the thought – and his want consumed him utterly.

Sloth: To Sleep, Perchance to Dream… of Haldir’s lost lover

Strong hands shook him, “Come.”

“Not now,” he thought, “a little longer.”
Amidst the snow, exhausted beyond reason, languorous warmth enveloped him.

“Come, stand.” Strong arms tried to lift.

“Moment.” Did he say that, or think it? Too tired to decide, delightful lethargy seeped through chilled limbs. Stars scintillated in the ice-clear air. He smiled.

“Please get up, please!”

“A moment.” Bliss warmed him as he slumped, at one with the stars. Scalding tears caressed his face. “Not mine,” he thought, drifting in reverie. With a final effort he kissed warm lips and fell back… back.

Into Mandos’ welcoming arms.

Wrath: His Scarlet Cloak: Haldir speaks

Mother pulled his scarlet cloak off. I howled; she dragged me away, wrapping me tightly. “He no longer needs it, you do! Remember this day – remember those who caused this. Let anger keep you warm!”

Exhausted by grief I dozed feverishly wrapped in red wool; I heard Father complain, “…that was not well done…”
She hissed, “Wrath will heat his blood where sorrow cannot. Gentleness has no place here.

Her goading kept my fea hot; kept me from fading, though my heart had frozen with my first love. Thence forward, I vowed to wear scarlet cloaks until Mandos claimed me.

Lust: Bloodlust: Draugluin the Werewolf speaks

He lay naked, a veritable feast. My languorous tongue explored him, feeling powerful muscles bunch beneath me. His belly trembled, doubtless afraid of the penetration to come. He knows I am wild and wanton in my passion. I traced each muscle with my swirling tongue. He gasped and shuddered,

“Soon you will scream for me, pretty elf.”

I sat back on my haunches, relishing the sight. Again I laved his belly; his ragged breath hitched with anticipation, with dread.

Enough – I must have him!
I pounced, ripped, savaged sweet flesh, and his screams became a counter-point to my howling blood-lust.

Envy: Bitter Wine: Haldir’s mother speaks of her sons

They keep close, sharing each other’s council. Where one leads the others keep him company. The golden bitch seduces them away with honeyed words – and they shut me out.

I know better than they the devious ways of the world, yet they keep me from their confidences. I am their mother, love is my right, but they deny me. My husband refused my council, now he is lost, captured with Fingon. Still they heed the yellow-haired harpy above me. Let them follow her. I shall abide here in ruin and fade. Let them cling to each other – I care not.

Greed: All To Myself: Haldir speaks of a new love

I would always remember my first visit to Thranduil’s realm with Lord Celeborn.

The grey sky had no height; it seemed a dull blanket had been thrown across the world. Light was diffused, without direction, no east nor west. Rain splattered on leaves with the tap of ten thousand icy fingers. Even the warmth of the fire sulked and refused to spread across the hearth. Knife-edged drafts chilled feet unaccustomed to carpeted floors, while our breath misted in the cool air from the mountain

Today we would not move from our rooms, and I would have you all to myself

Pride: Songs of Sorrow: Haldir speaks of the Eldar

Pride brought us to this, singing sorrowfully in the wilderness. Pride in creating; pride not to be seen as ‘lesser’. Pride that we should achieve what others could not… or would not, undertake. Were we not of the Firstborn? We were many, we were mighty; why should we not claim back what was ours? We had right on our side.

Yet our actions laid a blight upon Arda we can never erase. We spilt the blood of our kin. It is a bloody stain that lingers on our fea for eternity. Pride seeded our songs with sorrow… and everlasting regret.

Epilogue: Haldir’s farewell

My Lady departed with many of our kindred. My brother’s stay for me and I stay for my Lord Celeborn. He stays… because these are his woods, his land, he will not be sundered from them and I in turn will not be sundered from him; if it is our fate to fade, so be it. We hold the heart of Arda within us; while we walk here the memories will abide. My Lord is the forest; he cannot leave – and neither shall I, even though we dwindle to become the stuff of children’s tales – we remain here together – forever.

This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.

Story Information

Author: Elen Kortirion

Status: Reviewed

Completion: Complete

Era: Multi-Age

Genre: General

Rating: Adult

Last Updated: 12/15/04

Original Post: 12/07/04

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