ET's Legolas Song Parodies: 1. Ithilien (Tune: America)

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1. Ithilien (Tune: America)

This is sung to the tune of America, from the Broadway musical West Side Story. The lyrics can be found here, and a sound file here. My deepest apologies to the composers.


Greenwood the Great
You lovely forest
Joyous home of wood-elves singing.
Always the oak and beech swaying,
Always the birds and beasts playing.

Guarded Mirkwood
Oppressive kingdom
Under Thranduil's thumb stifled.
Always the protocol boring,
Always the court elleths competing...
And the Orcs encroaching...
And the Nazgûl creeping...
And the spiders eating...
I like the village Ithilien
With Legolas as my sovereign!

He's authority in Ithilien.
With liberty in Ithilien.
No rules set by he in Ithilien.
Not by decree in Ithilien.

I like to gently stroke tree bark.

Just don't stay out 'til after dark!

I relish under-the-tree napping.

But giant spiders go trapping!

Greenleaf is free in Ithilien.
Encouraging me in Ithilien.
Benevolently in Ithilien.
No tyrant he in Ithilien.

I like to sit in the tree-forks.

Just keep an eye out for the orcs!

My cooking has won King's referrals.

Don't try to roast the black squirrels!

He rewards loyalty in Ithilien.
Majestically in Ithilien.
His service is free in Ithilien.
Erotically in Ithilien.

I like to linger for long chats.

Just try to sidestep the black bats!

Cold-water swims make me shiver.

Avoid the Enchanted River!

Greenleaf chose me for Ithilien.
He lusts after me in Ithilien!
We rut gleefully in Ithilien...
Leggy snogs me in Ithilien.

I like to climb in the beeches.

If you can stand Nazgûl screeches!

Proper behavior fits the mood.

'Cause King Thranduil is a prude!

He itches for me in Ithilien.
Unites frequently in Ithilien.
Unfettered and free in Ithilien...
We come merrily in Ithilien.

This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.

Story Information

Author: Elena Tiriel

Status: General

Completion: Complete

Era: 4th Age

Genre: Humor

Rating: Adult

Last Updated: 09/24/04

Original Post: 06/09/04

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Forums linked to the story

Elena Tiriel - Star Gazings - 180 posts

I am a new author who is serious about improving my writing. Your comments, both positive and negative, will be treasured, evaluated, and incorporated freely!

Thank you in advance for your time and effort.

My fiction includes:

Fell and Fair (for the Sons of Elrond at the Field of Celebrant and the Alternate Perspectives Challenges)

ET's Legolas Song Parodies (for the International Legolas Month Song Parody Palooza Challenge)

Famous First Lines (for the It Was a Dark and Stormy Night Challenge)

Holiday Carols, Middle Earth-style (for the Carols in Middle-earth Challenge)

and numerous drabbles, including: Alas, Poor Ufthak!

I also compiled many entries for the HASA Resource Library, including the following small sampling:

Interesting People to Meet & Greet:
Orophin & Rúmil, The Bardings, and The Beornings

Cool Places to See & Be Seen:
The Elf-path, The Forest Gate, The High Pass of Rivendell, The Old Forest Road, Undertowers, The Westmarch, and Libraries of the Shire

Wild Fauna to Look (Out) For:
Black Squirrels, Butterflies, Hunting Dogs, The Kine of Araw, Giant Bats, Giant Moths, and Giant Spiders

Toothsome Treats to Eat:
Honey-cakes of the Beornings

Magical Powers to Admire (from a safe distance):
The Unlight of Ungoliant

Great Literature to Read:
The Red Book, The Thain's Book - Annotated Copy of the Red Book, Findegil's Copy of the Thain's Book, The Akallabêth, Herblore of the Shire, Old Words and Names in the Shire, The Reckoning of Years, The Tale of Aragorn and Arwen, The Tale of Years, and Translations from the Elvish

Important Events to Remember:
The Invasion of Calenardhon by Balchoth and Orcs, and The Battle of Dale and Siege of Erebor

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