I went from my mother for him.
I slew my kin for him.
I burned boats and abandoned my friends for him.
I was caught by our foe and tortured for him.
I hung from a mountain by my wrist for him.
I lost my right hand for him.
What hurt is it to me that I give up the kingship and place my force at point of most danger as long as Morgorth and his creatures feel all the force of my vengeance?
I Maedhros do this for him, for Feanor.
I learned the forge, to work jewels, to hunt; I knew to sing. The first of my makings was a song. I felt out the playing of the strings of the harp before I learned the script of my Father. Song was my constant companion matter what else I would do.
Father would talk to my brothers, he would sing to me. Feanor wanted all his sons to be best at what they were best at, and he encouraged my singing.
For that, I stand in the gap where the orcs must come and I slay them as they do.
I thought of all the seven I was weakest, with little skill, always last.
Father taught me to be strong, showed me my skills, let me fight for first place.
Tell all that Celegorm learned pride from Feanor.
This pride is my father's gift to me, one that I treasure because it is my strength. In his memory, I will not give it up. For my leadership, I can not give it up.
It is the only legacy that I do not share with my brothers. I do not envy sharing with them, but I will keep what is mine.
I Caranthir am called "Dark" but it is not true, I am white-hot flame for I know flame, I brought it to the forge of my father and worked the bellows to turn yellow flame to white, I watched as the white flame melted iron and bowed brass and I know that the hottest flame rules all, and I know to turn passion into weapon for he taught me, he taught me to work the bellows inside me so that what I felt became as hot as the forge-flame, forge-flame that became my sword: that is what Feanor gave me.
We will be surrounded, run, I shout.
We do not run if you do not, they reply.
Get under cover, I order.
We would not deserve you as our leader if we did, my warriors reply.
Will you all disobey my every order, I demand.
We will obey your first order and fight!
All raise their swords before me.
At that moment, I knew how Feanor felt when we stood beside him at the Oath.
I draw my sword and shout; follow me.
My warriors shout my name.
And the orcs that do not run before us die.
I love the way the world is strange. Look at me. I am eldest and second youngest. Eldest of two, young of seven. Feanor also loved the way the world is strange. That is why I call him Feanor. When I told him about being both young and eldest, he started to call me "Youngest-Eldest" and told me to pick a name for him. He was "Feanor-Hunter".
He taught me how to hunt. Why not? He could do anything. He taught me how to enjoy, not hunting so much as being alive to hunt. I still so love.
We spent time with mother because she seemed lonely. She and father never parted, but, We - I think she finally gave up. I was never sure what she gave up on.
But when the time came, we took the Oath. If mother did not want to we could not make her, as she never tried to make us refuse it. We followed Feanor without looking back.
Yes, I too called him "Feanor-Hunter" just as he called me "Eldest-Youngest" because I was the serious one, only because I never laughed first at the jokes we would pull.
We all miss him.
This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.