Leithian Script: Act I: 2. Scene I

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2. Scene I

A Boy, A Girl & A Dog
The Lay of Leithian Dramatic Script Project


An Appointment in Menegroth

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THE THRONE-ROOM SCENE OF THE LAY OF LEITHIAN

retold in the vernacular as a dramatic script
(with apologies to Messrs. Tolkien & Shakespeare)

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SCENE I
Gower:
Now envision wide upon this meager screen,
the lofty arches of deep Doriath,
where Elu Thingol, gray King of Elves
and Melian the Wise his wife
whose birth precedes the eldest stars,
hold high court before their host.
--Let thy mind
make of our panel white and keystrokes black
Shining caverns, enlumened all with bright
lamps of white gems all fashioned fair
upheld by dragons carved and gilt,
and water flowing o'er the stone
like to a grotto fashioned of the gods
where birds do sing beneath no sun --
Here,
into the shade of the holy trees
Luthien Tinuviel doth lead her love,
Beren the wanderer from out the woods,
before her mother musing and infuriate sire
before the assemblage of her friends and kin
and doubtful Daeron that betray'd of love . . .

Luthien:
Mom, Dad -- this is my fiance, Beren.

Thingol:
Well, well, well. So you're the fellow who's been camping in my woods this past year. How did you get past the security system?

Beren:
Um?
[distracted by the spears/crowd/nightingales/jewels/waterfall/trees/Melian]
How . . .? I, er, just, erm, kept walking, and . . . then I was here.

Thingol: [thinking]
--Yeah, right.
[aloud]
So, --Beren, is it? --what do you do for a living?

Beren:
Orcs. Um. I, uh, I hunt them. Sir. [winces]

Thingol:
Really. And do you foresee a long-term career in this . . . admirable venture of yours?

Beren: [desperate flippancy]
Well, I expect I'll be doing it the rest of my life.

Thingol: [not amused]
And this should impress me why?

Beren:
Well, my dad was a good friend of the King of Nargothrond, saved his life at the Siege of Angband, and they say I take after Da -- I might be useful to have around, is all I'm saying.

Thingol: [biting sarcasm]
In case you hadn't noticed, this isn't Nargothrond -- or do I look like Finrod Felagund to you?

Beren:
I, I don't know, sir; I've never met King Finrod --

Thingol: [forced patience]
--That was a rhetorical question, boy. I'm saying I don't care who your friends-and-relations are, I want to know what you have to offer my daughter. I didn't raise Luthien to be a beggar or a gangster's moll -- I expect her to take over the administration of Doriath after me. We have lots of people who can kill Orcs, and with eons more experience than you've got, so I don't really see a place for your talents in our organization.

Beren:
Well, my parents ran a realm too, not as big as this, but nevertheless --

Thingol: [losing it]
Silence! Impertinent puppy! Can you give me one good reason why I shouldn't throw you into the labyrinth and delete the key? Do you really expect me to believe that you've just been taking music lessons from my daughter in the forest? I should chop you into pieces and chop the pieces into pieces! --unfortunately, you'd miss most of it --

Beren: [nervously]
Um, I know this isn't the best time to remind you, but Tinuviel did say you'd promised me a safe conduct . . .

[pause]

Thingol: [lethally]
Who's Tinuviel?

Beren:
. . .

Luthien: [exasperated]
It's my nickname, Daddy. Like yours is Thingol. Because of my singing. And you did promise. In front of witnesses.

Thingol: [raising voice]
--but as I was about to say, I stupidly promised her that I wouldn't kill or maim you (I can't think why, all she does is look at me and I give her whatever she asks for) but that doesn't mean I can't find other ways to keep you from getting at her, you empty-handed vagabond--

Melian: [mindspeech]
Ahem. Elu.

Thingol: [mindspeech]
--Yes, dear?

Melian: [mindspeech]
The good news is -- that he isn't a brainwashed slave sent here by our Enemy to assassinate you, kidnap Luthien or corrupt Doriath.

Thingol: [mindspeech]
Hmph. What's the bad?

Melian: [mindspeech]
That he isn't a brainwashed slave sent here by our Enemy to assassinate you, kidnap Luthien or corrupt Doriath.

Thingol:
!?. . . !?

Melian: [mindspeech]
He's just a boy who's fallen in love with a stranger he met in the woods.

[longish pause]

Thingol: [mindspeech]
--It was different for us...

Melian: [mindspeech, sighing]
It's always different...

[Simultaneous w/previous exchange: Enter the two chief warriors of Doriath.]

Beleg:
All right, all right, what's all the fuss?

Mablung:
Daeron, old boy! Fill us in!

[Daeron gives a guilty start and almost drops his flute]

Daeron:
Erm. Hullo, chaps. It's that Man you were all out looking for. He just turned up. --How did he get past you?

How indeed? We figured he'd jumped the gate and made a run for it. Done a bunk, as it were.

Mablung:
Right. When was the last time anyone got past us, Strongbow?

Beleg: [thinking]
Mm, seventy-four years ago. That wolf light-cavalry unit down the cliffs on the other side. Didn't get far, though.

Mablung:
You sure it's been that long?

Beleg:
Sure I'm sure.

Mablung:
I don't remember all of that -- I think you've got an extra decade in there.

Beleg:
No, that was the winter before the winter that the borders got four cubits of snow and five of those things with six legs and two heads.

Mablung:
Anybody know what those things are? What are they called, anyway? Daeron?

[Daeron gives a guilty start]

You're the bard around here -- don't you know?

Beleg:
What's wrong with 'those things with six legs and two heads?' or better yet, 'those dead things with six legs and two heads' --?

[Melian gives them a Look, and they quiet down. The conversation regarding a suitable dowry is just concluding.]

Beren:
So, if I brought back all three of them, and you had three daughters, would you let me marry all of them? --Just curious, sounds like a real bargain on elf-princesses--

Luthien: [stage whisper]
Beren! Shush! I don't know how long it would take me to get you out of the labyrinth -- it might take a hundred years!

[Beren hushes up.]


This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.

Story Information

Author: Philosopher At Large

Status: Reviewed

Completion: Complete

Era: 1st Age

Genre: Drama

Rating: General

Last Updated: 01/25/03

Original Post: 06/20/02

Go to Leithian Script: Act I overview

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Playlists Featuring the Story

Unfinished plots, still a happy reader - 6 stories - Owner: Julie
These stories are double treats, despite being uncompleted. Althought I would heartily cheer to discover new chapters, setting is of equal importance to me as story, and these all contain complete and useful gapfillers of various places and periods in the history of Middle Earth. (Some of these have complete beginning stories, but haven't gotten to the end of the plot.) (I'm quoting from the author's overview summaries because I'm having problems trying to make good descriptions.) Created for the HASA Playlist Challenge.
Included because: " The Lay of Leithian retold in the vernacular a a dramatic script, part II. Humor/Drama." I'm recommending Acts I through IV; nearly all the plot is finished. The Luthien & Beren story with lots of Silmarillion gapfilling.

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