Official Fanfiction University of Middle-earth, The: 56. The Many Variations of Ow

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56. The Many Variations of Ow

Ta, I.

Ow. Ow. Ow-ow. Ooooooow.

There really were a lot of variations of 'ow', Lina thought dimly and whimpered. She felt a hand on her face, someone lifting her up and somewhere far off, Gimli's voice.

“You will be fine. I love you.”

She smiled – ow-ow-ow. Smiling not good. She had been – flying, had she not? Flying like a bird… Except for the plunging to the ground part. Ow.

Awareness came and went. She thought she heard the mini-Balrogs chase someone off as well, judging by the screams and protests and cries of 'Legolaaaaaaaaas!' She also thought she heard Smaug offering to fly her to the University and Gimli refusing, muttering about 'enough damage done'.


Time must have passed, for the next thing she was aware of was soft linen, then the smell of pipe weed. Her back hurt, her feet hurt, her head hurt – and whaddaya know, her hands hurt too.

“Ow,” she said and opened her eyes. Gimli's face came into view, looking like he was having sympathy pains.

“Did I ask a dragon to hold me more loosely and thus fell?”


“Thought so, but then I thought 'No, I can't have done something that stupid.' Ow.”

Gimli tried to contain a smile.

“You were lucky. Some dwarven girl or another broke your fall. Mîm… Snowfall? Snowbearer? Snowholder, I think.” Gimli snorted. “Where do they come up with these names?”

“I didn't know we had any dwarven girls on campus. Ow, did she wear a helmet with horns or something?”

“No. She was carrying it. Odd girl. She has been sending me very odd looks. Perhaps she has indigestion.”

Lina smirked, then whimpered quietly.

“Miss Cam decided you had learned through pain never to ask a dragon to hold you more loosely ever again, so you have the day off.”

“How very nice of her,” Lina muttered, and filed away Mîm Snowholder to check up on later. Not that she doubted Gimli's feelings, but perhaps she could finally find someone for Gimly if the girl really was seizing up Gimli.

“Elrond says you should rest and you will be fine,” Gimli went on. “This sparked Cenire to try and get off the rest of the week with a sick-note signed by the Headmaster.”

“But the Headmaster…” Lina began, moving her head. “Ow.”

“Yes. There was only one little flaw in her plan – the Headmaster does not sign notes. That would give away who he is.”

Lina took the offered icepack, putting it on her head with a sigh. She really had a talent for ending up in these kinds of situations.

“How did the rest of the students fare?”

“They're still wandering about, while Elrond and Miss Cam are having a picnic by the Eldest Tree sapling. They could be out there a long while, but Miss Cam said something about a 'rescue lesson' she and Elrond were planning for tomorrow.”

Lina chuckled softly. “I don't doubt the other students will wander about and get lost. I think I saw Emma trying to head for Mirkwood, track down Thranduil and get him to arrange a marriage with Legolas. Then she'd pretend she didn't want it and let Legolas win her over. Serenity Lunar was following her, but I have no idea why. She likes Aragorn.”

“Aragorn is in Mirkwood gathering spiders for Miss Cam's… umm.. class activity later in the week,” Gimli replied.

“That explains it, then,” Lina said and groaned. “I don't want to know about the spiders, right?”

“Nay, my dear, you do not.”

“Right.” Lina closed her eyes and tried to locate the elephants jumping on her brain and chase them out. But though it was all quite painful, Gimli's hand resting on her arm and the fact that everyone else was outside and probably in more pain, made it not too bad.

If she as right, and one of the posts really had been Minas Morgul, ow-ow-ow. The Nazgûls had probably planned a welcome wagon.

“Why were Morgoth and Sauron practising walking on a catwalk?” she suddenly asked, remembering the brief sighting before the ground has rushed to meet her.

“Oh, that. We are all supposed to model typical Middle-earth clothes, giving the students a better idea of dress code. It is for later in the week. Naturally, Morgoth and Sauron both claim superiority on Evil Dress Code and thus… You know those two.”

“Did they blow up anything?”

“No. The fireball only burned off the hair of a few students.”

“How swell.”

“Ragna offered to grow the students new hair, but they did not seem too thrilled. That reminds me, Smaug apologies for dropping you. If you ever need anything, he said to come to him. Then he and father walked off to decide who likes gold the most.”

Lina smiled, suddenly noticing BreadLegs and RollFeet were asleep at her feet. Come to think of it, she was rather… Tired. And the bed was very soft, Gimli must have put in… extra… blankets…

She wasn't sure how long she slept, but when she awoke it was dark and laughter came from the hall.

A single candle burned in the room and there was no sign of Gimli. Feeling more sore than in actual pain, Lina managed to get up and wandered out of the room. She nearly tripped over Brie, the cheese-loving mini-Balrog, sitting outside the door.

Of course, Brie was a most French mini-Balrog, to the point of considering himself a artist. Fangirls he caught; he painted. His 'Fangirl Screams While Hanging Upside-Down' was pure genius. How could anyone confuse the city of Bree with a cheese anyway?

Trotting down the stairs, Lina saw Elrond and Miss Cam talking to Lúthien, while Faramir and Éowyn were cuddling in an armchair. Boromir for once seemed oblivious, he was sharpening his sword and smiling for seemingly no particular reason.

“Hello Lina,” Miss Cam said. “How are you feeling?”

“Sore,” Lina muttered, sinking down on the couch next to Gimli. He kissed her gently on the forehead.

“Ah. Do not worry. Tomorrow, so will all the other students. Now that Aragorn is back, it will be a most excellent lesson.”

“Will it be painful?” Lina asked, leaning against Gimli's shoulder.

“That is what interactive learning week is all about. Learning through pain,” Boromir said, holding up his sharp sword. “Sometimes I think I should pity the students. Then I remember I am the person with most mini-Balrog spawned.”

“Now, now. Isildur is gaining on you,” Miss Cam replied. “That reminds me, I better find out how the mud-pit is coming.”

Mud-pit. Spiders. Boromir sharpening his sword. Miss Cam smiling. All this lead to one conclusion. Ow.

Lina sighed. “Will you have Dwarven Soup ready for me tomorrow night? I think I will need it.”

“Of course,” Gimli said softly.

Yup, it would be most painful. In a very educational way, of course.

This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.

Story Information

Author: Camilla Sandman

Status: Reviewed

Completion: Complete

Era: Other

Genre: Humor

Rating: General

Last Updated: 03/15/04

Original Post: 06/18/02

Go to Official Fanfiction University of Middle-earth, The overview


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