Official Fanfiction University of Middle-earth, The: 26. Cupid-Legolas

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26. Cupid-Legolas

There are good days, and there are bad days. There are not-too-bad days and days that should have been spent in bed. There are spectacular days and horrid, horrid days. There are even days so horrid it's not even possible to imagine – and then there are days that are so spectacularly good that you can't imagine that either.

And that was exactly the kind of day Lina was having, and the sun had barely risen yet. Sadly, it was time to try to sneak back to her bedroom – hopefully undiscovered (it had taken them some time to relocate her clothes, though).

“That was…” Gimli said, grinning like a maniac.

“Yeah,” Lina replied, wearing the same silly grin. They both giggled slightly as Gimli opened the door for her.

“Who would have thought a dwarf was so… so…?” she trailed off.

“Long lasting?” Gimli suggested with a glimmer in his eyes.

“You got that right…” she chuckled and tried to remind herself she had class soon and *had* to go.

“See you soon?” he offered, and she smiled warmly.

“You betcha!” she exclaimed and with one last look she skipped down the stairs. Life was great! Life couldn't be better! Life was…

She nearly tripped over herself as she saw a dark shape move out of Sauron's room, heading for the entrance to the rest of the University. She couldn't see who it was, the hall was dark and filled with shadows.

“See you next week, my love,” Sauron called out.

What the…? Sauron, Mr. Evilness himself, with a girlfriend? Or boyfriend, best to keep an open mind. An itfriend maybe? Hey, this could be interesting… Possible blackmail possibility too – Morgoth would surely enjoy teasing Sauron endlessly for calling anything 'my love'.

“Good morning Sauron!” she called out. “See you in class!”

There was a loud bang from his room, and a loud curse – sounded like he had hit his head against something. Giggling, she skipped on. Life was FANTASTIC!

“Skipping cheerfully this early in the morning leads to great pain, my dear,” Miss Cam said, suddenly walking out of the shadows, looking grim. “You wouldn't want me to kill you, now would you?”

She eyed Lina. “Ah, it's that way, is it? Come on, you can borrow some clothes from me. You won't get into your floor anyway, it's temporarily sealed off.”


“The infrastructure is unstable. We think someone mistook Gandalf's book of cooking experiments for Gandalf's book of spells, and they tried making… Something. I'm not quite sure what it was, or if I want to know. It sort of melted into the floor and… Yeah, messy. Your pets are fine, miss Dot took care of them.”

“Good morning Miss Cam and Lina – what a *surprise* to see you here,” Legolas came strolling out, looking perky. “So I take it you and Gimli…”

“Yes, yes,” Lina cut in before Legolas could utter some misunderstood human jargon.

“That's wonderful!” Legolas declared. “The first step in my plan has worked. Not that I'm not happy for Gimli, but this means one less chasing me. One by one, I shall get them all to like someone else. I came up with it last night, even made a list of all those I need to 'play Cupid for', was that the term?”

“Close enough. But that can take forever,” Miss Cam pointed out.

“I'm an Elf, I have eternity.”

“Heeeeeeeelp…” came a weak voice from somewhere above, and Miss Cam sighed.

“I suppose I better rescue miss Jules from Legoals before she gets 'Balrogged' and all. Won't be long.”

Just then Sauron peeked out of his room, looking like he was ready to flatten a whole city.

“Would you all SHUT UP! I need my evilness-sleep, to get that proper evil look.”

“Shut up YOURSELF!” Morgoth called back.

“I'm not the one making all the noise!”

“Yes, you SNORE!”


“And here we are, a typical morning,” Legolas grinned, “all we need now is…”


There was a scream from the entrance, and the mini-Balrogs cackled gleefully.

“Yes, someone trying to sneak in. There we are, a typical morning here at the staff section at OFUM. You better get used to it,” Legolas warned, but with a smile. It occurred to Lina how relaxed he seemed now, compared to all those times the girls were chasing him.

“I suppose so. Dot's going to kill me, though. No way I can sneak back unnoticed now.” She sighed. “Oh well. Maybe I can pretend I was kidnapped by a mini-Balrog also.”

“Dot?” Legolas reached for his pocket and took out some folded paper. Unfolding it, it turned out to be a list. A very long list. “Dot, yes, she's on my list. I was thinking she might like Hans, the foreign exchange student – No, wait, Hans is on my list also.”

Miss Cam came walking back, brushing off some dust. “There – anyone seen Galadriel since yesterday?”

“She's still flat out after that horrible ordeal in class,” Celeborn informed them, walking out from a room nearby. “All those hormones and mental pictures…”

He shook his head sadly.

“She was muttering about how large feet didn't necessarily mean a very large hobbithood. I was afraid to ask what she meant.”

“Dear oh dear,” Miss Cam muttered. “I'm sure she'll feel better soon, Celeborn. It's just the shock. Just – Legolas, do not mention your desire to play Cupid near any fangirls, would you? The mental pictures that would cause them to have could easily put poor Galadriel in a coma.”

“Yes, Miss Cam.”

“Who's playing Cupid?” Sauron asked, walking up to them looking his usual sour self. “Are you talking about me?”

“Oh no,” Celeborn muttered.

There came *that* mental image.

"Every name spelled wrong in _Rings_,
a MiniBalrog gets its 'wings' "
- The Philosopher At Large, in a comment to my story

This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.

Story Information

Author: Camilla Sandman

Status: Reviewed

Completion: Complete

Era: Other

Genre: Humor

Rating: General

Last Updated: 03/15/04

Original Post: 06/18/02

Go to Official Fanfiction University of Middle-earth, The overview


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