Official Fanfiction University of Middle-earth, The: 23. Congratulations, It's a Roll!

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23. Congratulations, It's a Roll!

“… and thus we landed in Middle-earth,” Galadriel said, looking out over the class. “Silver Rose, stop trying to picture Legolas naked. Incidentally, you're way off. Lyle, would you be as kind as not try to plot your evil plan right now? I realise you are a Valar in this world because you put it on your form, but you're still a student and Miss Cam can still 'kick your ass' I believe the term was, so pay attention. That goes for you too Alisha – and that's not even possible to do with a hobbit, you know. Okay…”

A few people groaned. Having a mind-reading lecturer was a real pain and completely ruined any attempt to not pay attention (which was what University classes were all about, after all). In the corner, Elrond looked smug and was hiding a somewhat evil grin. Haldir was not even trying to hide his.

“Celebrían, no, having my daughter's name will not make me go easy on you, and you may not hit on my son-in-law. Now, where was I? Ah, Middle-earth.”

Lina knew she would probably get busted any minute by the piercing stare of Galadriel, yet she could not help but think about completely other things than the elves's arrival in Middle-earth.

She was thinking about the fact that BreadLegs was asleep in her bed, the poor little bugger sick. And she had no idea what was wrong – what kind of sickness could a bread get anyway? Perhaps she ought to ask Gandalf.

She was thinking about how much she missed chocolate and comfort eating. Funny how you never realise how much you liked something until it was gone. She also missed a certain popular fizzy drink, although her teeth were probably holding a party. ('No more sugar! Whooo!' she could almost imagine them going).

She was thinking about the fact that the upcoming weekend were going to be busy as hell with two seminars – GrammarBootCamp (the mere word 'grammar' was troubling) and something on the Riders on Rohan and horsemanship (she had honestly not paid attention much, but Diane had been all fired up). The seminars weren't compulsory, but Miss Cam had smiling informed them anyone not up to participate was likely to find themselves being the ball in Sauron and Morgoth's upcoming Basketball Game of Hate.

But most of Lina was thinking about Gimli. The dwarf seemed to be sneaking into her thoughts more and more these days. She didn't dare think about what it meant, because if she did so, she was afraid it would blow up. She had never really had anything like it ever before in her life, and it seemed so fragile.

Instead she had begun talking BreadLegs for walks at certain times, and she would find Gimli there in the garden. They'd talk about nothing and everything, and sometimes even Legolas would join them (although that usually led to a crowd of fangirls suddenly appearing and scaring the wildlife, but Miss Cam had hired Dark One Shadowphyre as head of outdoors security. It had taken a while for the girls to realise they were now dealing with a shape-shifter – no one had yet managed to sneak by).

“But Morgoth was strong and… Dot, spit out that gum. Whit, kindly do not even *think* about what Haldir is like in bed, it's very distracting. Lina…” Galadriel paused for a moment, then smiled. “Nevermind. Now, Haldir, would you be as kind as start your lecture on the elves of Lothlórien? Lina and I will be right back.”

Startled, Lina looked up to see the Elf Lady glide towards her, motioning for them both to walk into the hallway.

“If I saw any of you in Lothlórien, I would have shot you on sight,” Haldir was saying in a friendly tone as the door closed behind them.

“I'm sorry I was.. Thinking of other things,” Lina said lamely. “But Legolas told me a lot of the history of elves just a few days ago, I wasn't being disrespectful or anything…”

“Lina, I wanted to talk to you for another reason. I understand you and Gimli are seeing a lot of each other these days?”

“Sort of,” Lina mumbled.

“Yes. You're worried, though. What do you fear?”

“That this is a dream. That this world – that I can't leave it. And at the same time, that I'll have to.”

Galadriel smiled, and patted her hand. “Now, should we have.. What did Miss Cam call it? A talk about… bees and… Bees and… What was that other thing? Bees and bats? Bees and honey?”

“The birds and the bees. I… I… Know all about that,” Lina replied feeling her cheeks blaze.

“Perhaps so. My offer stands. You might find that dwarves are quite different from humans in that aspect. By the way, that is the other thing I wanted to tell you. I know what is wrong with your pet.”

“What?”

“Something quite natural, dear, and it relates to what we were just talking about. You will soon become a grandmother – of sorts.”

Lina nearly fell over in surprise. “BreadLegs is pregnant?”

“Oh yes. Saw it in my mirror. In fact, I think she's about to give birth. Why don't we go have a look?”

Lina nearly ran up the stairs, Galadriel in tow (but the Elf managed to still look dignified and not in a hurry at all). The two reached Lina's room just as there was a loud “OY!” from inside.

“BreadLegs!” Lina exclaimed, and ran to the bed. Little BreadLegs were looking exhausted, but beaming as the proud mother she was. And snuggled close was a little roll, legged just like its mother was.


This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.

Story Information

Author: Camilla Sandman

Status: Reviewed

Completion: Complete

Era: Other

Genre: Humor

Rating: General

Last Updated: 03/15/04

Original Post: 06/18/02

Go to Official Fanfiction University of Middle-earth, The overview

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