Collaborative Mayhem: 1. Oh, Boromir ... a pair of answering slash villanelles

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1. Oh, Boromir ... a pair of answering slash villanelles

Oh! Boromir.…

Oh, Boromir! Thou art a hottie!
The thought, unbidden, unto Aragorn occurred -- a thought, disturbing and a trifle crude.
If I can’t have you, I’ll go dotty!

Although you acted kind of snotty,
what with the shards of Narsil and that stuff about how Gondor needs no king. You were quite rude,
but Boromir, thou art a hottie!

And I’ll admit those green eyes got me,
and that gold hair. And that rare smile (especially when it’s not for me). And that special way you brood.
If I can’t have you, I’ll go dotty!

Even when we’re both quite grotty,
I’m thinking more and more on how you’d look divested of some layers. In fact, let’s face it, nude,
'cause Boromir, thou art a hottie!

If this offends you, you can stop me.
But I’ve been feeling that you’re awfully tense, and I could help you out. I’ll bet you’re not a prude.
If I can’t have you, I’ll go dotty!

Even when we’re both quite grotty
(like now with all the blood) and even when you acted snotty and though by orcs you’re sort of screwed…
still, Boromir, thou art a hottie.
If I can’t have you, I’ll go dotty!

--Flick

***


Take Me

Aragorn, I am a hottie, it is very true.
You're not so bad yourself - is what I have to say
Did you think I would pass up a ranger stud like you?

Though what we are proposing is often thought taboo
it's not like we could stop the slash-fics anyway —
'cause Aragorn, I'm such a hottie. It is very true.

I could pretend to struggle while my virtue you subdue
and leave me shivering in fetching, manly disarray...
Did you think I could pass up a ranger stud like you?

In fact, I think your whole proposal is long overdue.
I didn't save myself so you could look the other way
for Aragorn, I am a hottie, it is very true.

Ahh, who are we kidding. We both know we want you
clinging to my body like a wizard's bad toupee
Did you think I could pass up a ranger stud like you?

Being Isildur's heir leaves you with a lot to live up to -
but when you enter Gondor, I'll be with you all the way.
Aragorn, I am a hottie, it is very true.
Did you think I would pass up a ranger stud like you?

-- fileg




please respond in flick's fic or fileg's flight

This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.

Story Information

Author: fileg

Status: General

Completion: Ongoing Serial

Era: 3rd Age - Ring War

Genre: Humor

Rating: Adult

Last Updated: 10/09/03

Original Post: 08/15/03

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