9. Assorted men and elves
has a part that, though sketchily drawn
will be sorely missed
if it doesn’t exist
when Return of the King is put on
A clever young elf named Figwit
Had but little screen time to transmit
His uncanny allure…
But his 'name' will endure
For he managed to use every bit
Where’s Elrohir? Where’s Elladan?
In vain for their faces we scan -
Were you unaware
We’d be walking on air
If you doubled our pleasure in Cannes?
A brave one is golden Glorfindel,
even death his appeal could not dwindle.
Rivendell found him a hottie
in his gorgeous new body;
the elf-maidens' lust he did kindle.
A balrog with whip in the air,
Dragged Glor off of a cliff by his hair.
he said 'I'm sadistic,
if you're masochistic,
we really could make quite a pair.'
Said Finduilas, "Denethor's virtue
For me is scarcely an issue.
If he lies with a man
I'll give him to his 'fans'
Til he renders to me my just due.
The sons of Elrond are identical,
Making their advantage psychological.
When joking with each other
Each pretends to be his brother.
The result is often quite comical.
So alike my brother and I -
Black of hair and grey of eye.
Now you may chortle
But we are immortal.
Not for us our fate to die.
So Delightfully outre are the twins,
always wicked, and charming, with grins;
Most write them lascivious
to taboos quite oblivious
contentedly immersed in their sins.
The twins by most standards are not measured,
By each other they often are pleasured;
Or so fangirls say
when their lust, it holds sway
Alas the prose that results - rarely treasured.
(with apologies to those who write good E/E.)
Discuss these or any other limericks at this forum.
This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.