14. It's Not My Fault!
I hope you notice that none of this is My Fault, btw. --Altariel
Altariel was quite demure
"Of inspiring you, I'm quite pure
Of wicked intent
My fanfictional bent
's towards making dear Faramir purr."
So there. It is now "Your Fault." No reason I should be the one stuck with *all* the blame after all.
Altariel it was who inspired
Anglachel the tech god to wire
HASA with forums
Would keep us from lustful quagmires.
There. Even better.
If Lyllyn can blame Dwim, then I can blame Lyllyn!
At the computer I was eating
My browser sang me a greeting
And in my box of mail
That I check without fail
Was a proposal for meeting
A discussion called 'Limericks'
Of which Lyllyn needed a fix
And said I should observe
What I rightfully deserve
After all my dirty tricks
'Addictive!' she said
I pondered (well fed)
And while brushing my teeth
These thoughts did repeat
'I should peek before bed'
And so at this time
Shame indeed is mine
For until just now
I never knew how
There was more ways than one to rhyme
Altariel tries to be good,
But the struggle brings tears of blood:
"If these buggers persist
There's no way I'll resist
Writing dogg'rel 'bout boys in the hood."
The briar-set path you admire
after which but few souls inquire
is hardly enough
temptation to snuff
You know you'll choose rather the mire.
Dwim would like all to remember:
'Twas Lyllyn who lim'ricks did send her
I'm just not to blame
If in my name
Baser natures were stirred in list members!
To Dwim I may owe fair apology
for inspiring salacious anthology;
oh, I claimed myself victim
of the one who first sicced 'em -
a symbol of my perverse pathology
To the flood of crude rhymes she cried 'halt!
We must cease this lewd minded assault,
With this lack of propiety
we're not fit for society
I declare to you all: not my fault!'
Discuss these or any other limericks at this forum.
This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.