Limericks: 13. Challenges (aka Dueling Limericks)

Reader Toolbox   Log in for more tools

13. Challenges (aka Dueling Limericks)

Launched by the immortal words of Alawa: O.K. I challenge someone to use the words stand and deliver

The Raven, an archer so good,
a maiden surprised in the wood.
His hand went to his quiver,
said, “Stand and deliver!”
“Well, sir, just take off that hood….”

Seeing the fuss on his wedding eve
Elessar sought to offer reprieve
“Forego this needless palaver,”
On the morrow, just stand and deliver”
Replied the Raven “My liege, ask and ye shall receive.”

Near the mouth of a cave by the river
PPC* found a sword, bow and quiver.
When the pair they had flushed
claimed the Elf as he blushed,
"Blame the script - it said, Stand and deliver!"

*Protectors of the Plot Continuum

The Worm has a tongue that will slither
And creepy crawl hither and thither.
But when it speaks in the night
To its Lady all White
Then it will stand and deliver.

When Arwen at last had full girth,
It came time for Eldarion's birth;
She felt all a-shiver
to stand and deliver,
Not how its done on this earth!


This makes me think of the inimitable EW's Aragorn Stew re the inappropriateness of the usual hobbit chat up line "Your hole or mine, Aragorn?" --Alawa

I also thought of the line from Aragorn Stew, and I challenge someone to use "your hole or mine" in a limerick. --Lyllyn

Ahem. Inspired by that, and by poor Ang who accidentally inspired me to come up with a line about "hobbit holes" last year...

For Dwarves it's "for whom's the bell toll?"
But for those who've a Halfling to roll,
The question to ask
While raising a flask
Is "Wanna show me your hobbit hole?"

To write what we want would be sublime
When Nuzguls come chomping, and eat up our time
We try to resist... but
End up in the rut
We dug ourselves- so, your hole or mine?

Upon reaching their home in the Shire
Frodo turned to Sam to enquire:
"Now we've returned fine,
Your hole or mine?
Though mine has a much bigger fire."

In fanfic the noblest may find
They’re forced to find ways to unwind.
Frowned grave Aragorn
‘You know this is porn?’
Grinned Faramir ‘Your hole or mine?’*

*Foxhole that is, they are Rangers after all.

And for the contrarian 'clean' entry:

Gondor's steward and king would define
the mathematics that made up a line
'Tis a part of the whole
But what is its role?'
'We speak then of your whole or mine?'

Discuss these or any other limericks at this forum.

This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.

Story Information

Author: HA Writers Group

Status: General

Completion: Work in Progress

Era: Multi-Age

Genre: Poetry

Rating: Adult

Last Updated: 11/11/03

Original Post: 06/27/03

Go to Limericks overview


No one has commented on this story yet. Be the first to comment!

Comments are hidden to prevent spoilers.
Click header to view comments

Talk to HA Writers Group

If you are a HASA member, you must login to submit a comment.

We're sorry. Only HASA members may post comments. If you would like to speak with the author, please use the "Email Author" button in the Reader Toolbox. If you would like to join HASA, click here. Membership is free.

Reader Toolbox   Log in for more tools