Beauty in a Big City: 1. Chapter One

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1. Chapter One

I have tried every method I know and still I cannot sleep. I think perhaps it is because this bed seems big. It is not purely because I'm alone; everything here is big - the bed, the room, the city. However, I still feel claustrophobic here at times. When the weather is fine Estel sometimes sleeps beneath the stars and I sleep out there with him. His love for this city is infectious and oft do I find myself staring at it, trying to find the beauty Estel sees in it. I have not yet found it.

I considered writing to my brothers of my feelings to ask them for news of Rivendell and home - but I know my decision has caused them pain. They live with it, however, because they know it will make me happy, so I do not wish them to know of my despair. The decision is made; I cannot change my mind.

Grandmother spoke to me before my wedding, which I was glad of, although I wish it could have been Mother. Thinking of her still brings tears to my eyes. When she departed across the sea I missed her but I knew I would see her again. Now I must be content with my memories and she with Father's tales of me.

When the Lady Éowyn came here I found she was in a similar position with only a brother for family. I took it upon myself to impart to her some advice. She was grateful and I have made myself a friend. She also helped me as I try to learn the ways of Men. They love me as their queen but Estel tells me they will accept me sooner if I act as they do. I am unsure how soon this will be granted given that I could see in Estel's face that he spoke from experience. Despite the people welcoming him as their king they are yet to find tolerance of other races.

It is more difficult now Estel is gone. We have been apart much since we cleaved to each other, but I spent that time with my family in Lothlórien or Rivendell. Here I am in a strange place amongst strange people. However, I am the daughter of Elrond and I can manage on my own. I do not wish Estel to think he cannot leave me alone.

The sound of birds singing interrupts my thoughts and I realise I have lain here all night without sleeping. I merely listen to the sounds of the dawn chorus for a while until I realise that one of the birds sounds much louder than the others and I wonder at its location. Tilting my head back I can see a small bird on the windowsill at the head of the bed. It is unlike any I have seen before. As I lay still, studying the bird I realise the cause of my unhappiness.

I thought this city of stone held no beauty for me but I have not been looking hard enough. I have spent most of my time looking at the streets, the dwellings and the city walls. I have gazed upwards at constellations I recognise, to remind myself this is still Middle-earth, my home. I took no heed of the wildlife, thinking it to be the same as that which I've seen many times before. I find myself delighted at my mistake. Sitting up, I startle the bird, which I regret for a moment but I know it will find some other place to rest and sing. Pulling on some clothes I find suddenly that the most important thing is to know the name of this bird. As I leave the room to head for the great library I pause to wonder what Estel will think.

When he left I was unhappy and he knew this; despite my best efforts to hide it. Now he will return to find me full of joy. Will he wonder if it is caused by his absence? I laugh at this thought. Of course he will not. He will return to me the same way for he loves this city and he loves me. It is enough to ensure his own happiness and he will be glad that he will not have to worry about mine.

This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.

Story Information

Author: paranoidangel

Status: General

Completion: Complete

Era: 4th Age

Genre: General

Rating: General

Last Updated: 04/29/03

Original Post: 04/02/03

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