Galadriel's Inbox: 1. Galadriel's Inbox

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1. Galadriel's Inbox

Author's note:
Because I had nothing else better to do during Social Studies. Other than listen to my boring classmates drone on about the differences between the Singaporean and Swiss education and health systems, that is.

Thanks to Maureen Lycaon for pointing out the errors.

The characters here are totally OOC, and none of this really makes much sense, in terms of canon.

Nana = Mom (Sindarin)
Ada = Dad (Sindarin)
Fëanáro = Fëanor


*******


From: Celebrimbor ‹asgoodasfeanor@angstyexiles.com›
To: Galadriel ‹what_has_not_yet_come_to_pass@angstyexiles.com›
Subject: A Ring of Power


Hi Galadriel,

I'm giving away a few Rings of Power, and I was wondering if you would like one. I've still got Nenya, the Ring of Adamant. It even comes with a free email address: nenya@ringbearer.com

Nifty, huh? And it's much shorter than your current one. Anyway, please consider this offer, and reply with your answer as soon as possible.


With love,
Celebrimbor


***


From: Valinor Travel Commission ‹tourismcommission@aman.com›
To: Galadriel ‹what_has_not_yet_come_to_pass@angstyexiles.com›
Subject: 50% off all cruises to Valinor!


Valinor Travel agencies is proud to announce that with its recent merger with Círdan's Shipping Inc., we are now able to offer all elves* cruises** to Avallónë at an immensely reduced price of 50% off the original costs!

This offer only lasts for 40 mortal years! Take it up NOW!


*This offer is not valid for selected Noldorin exiles.

**Trips are one-way only.


***


From: Fëanáro ‹3_silmarils@boredfëar.com›
To: Galadriel ‹what_has_not_yet_come_to_pass@angstyexiles.com›
Subject: Out of curiosity

I need to know: Why didn't you want to give me a lock of your hair? It was just one lousy strand. It’s not like it would have killed you, or something.


-Fëanáro

"And it may be that Eru has set in me a fire greater than thou knowest. Such hurt at the least will I do to the Foe of the Valar that even the mighty in the Ring of Doom shall wonder to hear it. Yea, in the end they shall follow me."


***


From: Ereinion Gil-galad ‹whosmydaddy@noldorinhighking.com›
To: Galadriel ‹what_has_not_yet_come_to_pass@angstyexiles.com›, Celeborn ‹save_the_trees@sindarinprince.com›
Subject: Just a warning



Hi Galadriel, Celeborn,

I just wanted to caution you against the so-called Lord of the Gifts who's been going around and giving away phoney Rings. And you know, after he came to Lindon recently, I began to suspect that he was gay.


Thanks,
Gil-galad


***


From: Fëanáro ‹3_silmarils@boredfëar.com›
To: Galadriel ‹what_has_not_yet_come_to_pass@angstyexiles.com›
Subject: No, seriously

I really, really, really need to know why you didn't want to give me a lock of your hair.


-Fëanáro

"And it may be that Eru has set in me a fire greater than thou knowest. Such hurt at the least will I do to the Foe of the Valar that even the mighty in the Ring of Doom shall wonder to hear it. Yea, in the end they shall follow me."


***



From: Amroth ‹i_luv_nimrodel@lothlorien.com›
To: Galadriel ‹what_has_not_yet_come_to_pass@angstyexiles.com›
Subject: Hi

Hey Nana,

What's up? I've succeeded in my project of having one flet for every elf in Lórien. Hey, it's for a good cause (claiming Nimrodel's heart, that is)!

Send my regards to Ada and Celebrían,


Love,
Amroth


***


From: Fëanáro ‹3_silmarils@boredfëar.com›
To: Galadriel ‹what_has_not_yet_come_to_pass@angstyexiles.com›
Subject: (none)

Why won't you answer my question????


- Fëanáro

"And it may be that Eru has set in me a fire greater than thou knowest. Such hurt at the least will I do to the Foe of the Valar that even the mighty in the Ring of Doom shall wonder to hear it. Yea, in the end they shall follow me."


***


From: Ereinion Gil-galad ‹whosmydaddy@noldorinhighking.com›
To: Celebrimbor ‹asgoodasfeanor@angstyexiles.com›, Celeborn ‹save_the_trees@sindarinprince.com›,
Cirdan ‹sea_dreams@teleri.com›, Elendil ‹faithful@numenor.com›,
Elrond ‹lordhalfelf@lindon.com›, Galadriel ‹what_has_not_yet_come_to_pass@angstyexiles.com›,
Thranduil ‹pretty_treasures@sindarinorsilvan.com›
Subject: FWD: Reply if you want, answer if you will


Just answer if you want to..I'm not going to put a dagger to your throat if you don't... :)



1. What is your mother-name? Gil-galad

2. What colour pants are you wearing right now? Brown.

3. What are you listening to right now? Elrond droning about something in the other room.

4. What was the last thing you ate? Hmm… can't remember this one. Though I do have a vague memory of honey. And a woman…

5. How is the weather right now? It's a clear and breezy night.

6. Last person you talked to on the palantir? I don't know why, but the stupid things stopped doing international calls. A pity, since no one else in Lindon actually has a palantir…

7. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Body.

8. Do you like the person that send you this? Yeah.

9. Your favourite drink? Red wine

10. How do you eat Lembas? Straight from the leaf packet.

11. Hair colour? Brown-black.

12. Eye Colour? Blue.

13. Favourite Food? Not Lembas, I'm sick of the stuff.

14. Favourite day of the year? No preference

15. Are you shy to ask someone out? Of course not.

16. Who is most likely to respond to this? Eh… not quite sure. Elendil, perhaps?

17. Who is most likely not to? Elrond, naturally.

18. Favourite magazine(s)? Noldorin High King Weekly.

19. Favourite sound(s)? Harp

20. What's the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? "Who am I with this time?"

21. Favourite color(s)? Blue

22. How many rings before you answer the palantir? I never answer the palantir, I wait for someone else to do it. Goodness knows how many times I have been scolded for it...

23. Future child's name? Children? I do not even have any intention to marry.

24. What's the most important thing in life? Love. Making it, that is.

25. Do you like to ride fast on a horse? Of course. There's no thrill in it, otherwise.

26. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? No…

27. You have patience? Yeah, sure.

28. What kind of people do you dislike? Many kinds… orcs, mostly.


Later all,
Gil-galad
High King of the Noldor of Middle-earth


***


From: Nerdanel ‹wiseone@spiritsoffire.com›
To: Galadriel ‹what_has_not_yet_come_to_pass@angstyexiles.com›
Subject: About %#&*$, also known as Fëanáro



I understand that the fool who was once my husband has been bothering you with persistent and disturbing messages. Námo has been contacted, and this nonsense shall be stopped at once.


Regards,
Nerdanel


***


From: Thranduil ‹pretty_treasures@sindarinorsilvan.com›
To: Ereinion Gil-galad ‹whosmydaddy@noldorinhighking.com›,
Celebrimbor ‹asgoodasfeanor@angstyexiles.com›, Celeborn ‹save_the_trees@sindarinprince.com›,
Cirdan ‹sea_dreams@teleri.com›, Elendil ‹faithful@numenor.com›,
Elrond ‹lordhalfelf@lindon.com›, Galadriel ‹what_has_not_yet_come_to_pass@angstyexiles.com›
Subject: Re: FWD: Reply if you want, answer if you will


Will you please cease sending me these damn forwards, you arrogant pomp! I could not care less about your exploits as Noldorin Casanova or what colour pants you're wearing!! That goes to the rest of you, too!


***


From: Amroth ‹i_luv_nimrodel@lothlorien.com›
To: Galadriel ‹what_has_not_yet_come_to_pass@angstyexiles.com›
Subject: Re: Hi

Hey Nana,

I don't understand why you're so against Nimrodel. So what if she's Silvan? She's better than any Noldorin woman I've seen (except you, of course).

I'm going to the Blessed Realm with her, so we can get married. I'll say hi to grandfather for you.


My regards to Ada and Celebrían,


Namarie,
Amroth


***


From: Celeborn ‹save_the_trees@sindarinprince.com›,
To: Ereinion Gil-galad ‹whosmydaddy@noldorinhighking.com›,

Celebrimbor ‹asgoodasfeanor@angstyexiles.com›, Cirdan ‹sea_dreams@teleri.com›,
Elendil ‹aithful@numenor.com›, Elrond ‹lordhalfelf@lindon.com›,
Galadriel ‹what_has_not_yet_come_to_pass@angstyexiles.com›, Thranduil Subject: Re: FWD: Reply if you want, answer if you will


Oh, stop being such a wet blanket.


Celeborn
Prince of the Sindar
Kinsman of Elu Thingol
Lord of Eregion



Thranduil brainlessly wrote:
>Will you please cease sending me these damn forwards, you arrogant pomp! I >could not care less about your >exploits as Noldorin Casanova or what colour >pants you're wearing!! That goes to the rest of you, too!


***


From: ‹doomsman@powers.com›

To: Galadriel ‹what_has_not_yet_come_to_pass@angstyexiles.com›

Subject: RE: Fëanáro


The eldest son of Finwë has been cautioned against sending you any more messages. His email privileges have been revoked for as long as I feel necessary.

Feel free to contact me, if you have any further problems.


Námo,
Doomsman of the Valar,
Halls of Mandos
Aman


*******


Author's note:
I have nothing against gay people… but that bit by Gil-galad was a sort of ref. to Tyellas' Celebrimbor/Annatar slash story, 'One Ring to Bind Them'. I haven't read that one yet, but I have read 'Bread of the Mirdain'. I couldn't help but add it in… sorry, to Tyellas, and all others who were offended… but you will probably get what I mean if you have read either 'Bread of the Mirdain' or 'One Ring to Bind Them'.

With regards to Gil-galad being a Casanova… what did I say about OOC? Anyway, that part was inspired by WatcherChild's hilarious 'The Most Opportune Lightning Bolt'.

This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.

Story Information

Author: Klose

Status: Reviewed

Completion: Complete

Era: 2nd Age - Pre-Rings

Genre: Humor

Rating: General

Last Updated: 04/27/03

Original Post: 01/27/03

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Comments

WARNING! Comments may contain spoilers for a chapter or story. Read with caution.

Galadriel's Inbox

Marta - 25 Nov 06 - 7:47 AM

Ch. 1: Galadriel's Inbox

Some of these brought on a definite chuckle. I love the idea of Namo as email watchdog -- too funny!

Galadriel's Inbox

Klose - 08 Jan 07 - 6:43 AM

Ch. 1: Galadriel's Inbox

Hi, wow, a comment. :)

I have to admit, being several years older and wiser, I cringe at some of the "jokes" in the story now... but Namo's e-mail has always been my favourite bit. :D

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment!  :D

Galadriel's Inbox

Beleth - 23 Nov 07 - 6:38 PM

Ch. 1: Galadriel's Inbox

All I can say is... This is definitely a one of a kind. I did have quite a few chuckles about Namo. The email addresses were also quite creative.

Galadriel's Inbox

Armariel - 24 Nov 07 - 9:46 AM

Ch. 1: Galadriel's Inbox

ROTFLMAOWonderful!!!!!!

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