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Recaptured!: 40. Remembering
This is a slash chapter. You do not need to read this
for the plot and it can be safely ignored for the purposes of story progression.
So all who do not like Merry and Pippin in a
relationship could you please talk amongst yourselves and try not to disturb
The sex is not, IMHO, particularly graphic – so don't worry
about that, but if it is not your bag – or you're too young (what are you doing
here anyway? This is R Rated!) don't read or flame.
As Pippin lay abandoned in the dark cell, he thought about
what Legolas had told him, that he needed to think of good things that had
happened, things he liked, of happy times or make up nice thoughts.
The first thought that came into his head was of Merry, of
course it was. He loved Merry more than anything and he was certain that Merry
loved him in every possible way. It was only a few days before at the big
castle, after he had found Merry in the cage and when Merry had been so ill, a
time when Pippin realised Merry would always love him and that had been a
really special time. That was what he would think about, Pippin decided.
He had given Merry the poppy paste and Strider had been
angry, the golden haired lady had made him sick with soap in his mouth and then
they wouldn't let them, he and Merry, sleep. They had walked them around and
made them eat, which was all right, but he had just wanted to lie down really.
But mostly Pippin remembered the next morning. He had woken
up in the big bed with the curtains on it and the golden-haired lady was
sitting on the edge of the bed – watching him.
Pippin found that a bit odd, but she smiled at him and she
was very pretty – no, not pretty like a hobbit lass – but beautiful in a human
way. It was different. She took his good wrist in her hand and pressed it
underneath with two fingers. Pippin had looked at her quizzically and tried to
pull away. But she just smiled and shook her head at him and then felt his brow.
Pippin decided he must be ill again, although he felt all
right, except perhaps for a headache and his wrist was still painful. Some more
of Strider's medicine would be good, although there did not seem to be much
chance of that judging by the reaction when he helped himself.
As the golden-haired lady let his wrist go, Pippin could see
she was talking to him. It was odd how people did that, even when they must
know he couldn't hear. He looked at Merry, who was still sleeping, and decided
he had better wake up and do the talking. Pippin shook his cousin, with his
good arm and blew on his face, something he knew would wake Merry.
The lady tried to stop him, but it was too late and Merry
sleepily sat up and, as Pippin had now started tickling his feet, the older
hobbit leaned forward to grab hold of his annoying cousin and wrestle him on to
Pippin kicked at Merry half-heartedly but soon gave in.
Pippin watched Merry's lips move as he was obviously talking to the lady and he
wondered what they were saying. The little hobbit was grown accustomed to
ignoring the fact that he was isolated in his silent world, but it bothered him
most when Merry was talking.
As the lady stood up and left the room, Merry lay back down
on the bed and Pippin watched his lips moving again.
The smaller hobbit put his hand over his cousin's mouth to
stop him talking, but Merry pulled the hand away and continued to say
something. Pip was cross, Merry knew he couldn't understand. He turned his back
on him in the bed and pulled the sheet over his head, tacitly hiding from the
But Merry must have realised what he had done and was not so
easily deterred. He groped around until he found a curled up back and wriggling
under the sheet himself, snaked his arms around Pippin, nuzzling into his neck.
Pippin tried to shrug him off. He knew he was being unfair,
but he felt so lonely when everyone else knew what was happening, and if Merry
was going to start talking at him when he couldn't hear, that was too much to
Merry took Pippin's palm and tried to write in it, but
Pippin was sulky now and too recently awakened to bother trying to understand
the words. He pulled his hand away and tucked it under his arm. Merry just lay
beside him, contenting himself with stroking the soft curls.
Then the blind hobbit must have heard something, for he sat
up. Pippin peered out over the top of the sheet to see what it was.
The lady brought them both a drink of milk. Pippin noticed
how she carefully placed both Merry's hands around the cup so that he would not
spill it. It suddenly struck Pippin just how difficult everything was for his
older cousin now he was blind. Then he felt deeply sorry for being sulky with
him. Merry really had done nothing to deserve it, he was just feeling fed-up and
taking it out on the person in the world who cared about him more than anyone.
Once they were alone again, Pippin pushed himself up against
Merry to show he was sorry and friends again. His thigh was wedged between the
other's legs and he couldn't help but notice the erection that must have felt
most uncomfortable. As they had just woken up, the small hobbit decided it must
be an early-morning-need-to-pee stiffness and Pippin knew the remedy for that.
He pulled Merry to sit upright then pushed him over onto his
front and guided him down, backwards, off the big bed. Then holding his hand
tightly, they set off for the privy. This was one essential function Pippin
reasoned that Merry and he would have to learn to communicate or how else would
Merry let him know when he wanted to go. He would never find his way there on
his own, Pippin had had enough trouble himself until Legolas had shown him
where it was.
Once in the small room Pippin quickly relieved himself, but
Merry seemed uncertain about where they were and just stood as he had been
left, waiting for Pippin to return to him.
Pippin looked at his cousin in exasperation and put his hand
on Merry's stiff part to try and show him what to do. Merry was a little
surprised and caught Pip's hand in his own and started to say those
infuriating, indecipherable words again. Pippin put his hand over Merry's mouth
and then took the other's hand and wrote a word he actually knew how to spell 'p–e–e!'
Merry got the message then and, with obvious relief, used
his own hand to point himself. Pippin thought perhaps he had wanted to for some
time but was too embarrassed to ask the golden-haired lady where it was. He
knew he would have been. Merry still seemed uncertain of the direction, so
Pippin held his shoulders, pointed him the right way and prodded him in the
back to let him know it was all right.
They made their way back to the bedchamber and Pippin
discovered to his delight that while they had been away someone, the lady he
suspected, had left breakfast for them. So much food in fact it would serve for
first and second breakfasts.
He led Merry to the washstand and cleaned both their grubby
sets of paws, then back to the bed and pushed him to help him climb back up. Merry
struggled a little, the bed was high even for a human and for hobbits it was
like climbing up Caradhras again Pippin thought. Merry had trouble finding what
to hold on to as he clambered up. Pippin climbed up first and pulled Merry up,
then making sure his cousin was in the middle of the bed and could not fall
off, he scampered back down and filled plates with food, making sure each was
the same. He brought the feast back to the bed and together they made a fine
When they were finished, with first breakfast at least, they
both lay back tired from their labours. Pippin pushed himself up on one elbow
and watched Merry breathing. He noticed that Merry did not move his lips now
and Pippin suddenly thought the absence of him talking seemed very strange. He
had been irritated by it earlier, probably because someone else was in the room
and Pippin was jealous of his Merry talking to others when he couldn't hear
him. But then he had been cross when he continued after the lady had gone and
they were alone. Now Pippin felt mean and selfish, it obviously made Merry feel
better to talk to him even if he couldn't hear and poor Merry couldn't even
see, he must be so very lonely too.
Pippin put his hand on Merry's mouth and moved his lips,
showing that he wanted him to talk and it was all right. Merry just caught hold
of his fingers and kissed them, letting him know it didn't matter. That made
Pippin feel worse and his eyes filled with tears as he thought how selfish he
Merry sensed from Pippin's slight shudder that he was upset
and reaching up touched his cousin's eyes and felt the damp tears. Merry sat up
and pulled Pippin close, hugging him tenderly. Then he let go and sitting back
from his cousin pointed at himself, then clutched both hands to his heart, then
pointed at Pippin.
Pippin smiled. He could not mistake the message, so clear
had Merry made it. He wondered how he could do it back. He took Merry's hand in
his and touched it to his shoulder, then to his own heart and then touched both
their hands back to Merry's shoulder.
They both wrapped themselves in each other's arms and
pressed up against each other as if they would stay that way forever. Pippin
then felt with some surprise that Merry's erection was back again. He wriggled
out of the embrace and taking Merry's hand wrote in it 'p–e–e?'
Merry laughed, he realised the younger hobbit's mistake and
shook his head from side to side and shyly pointed at Pippin then, head cast
downward, pointed back at his erection.
Pippin was a little taken aback He remembered what had
happened at Orthanc but had Merry just been helping him or had he really,
really wanted to? The younger one had never been too sure and so much had
happened since then he had not had a chance to find out.
Pippin snuggled back into the warm, encircling arms, he knew
for certain that if Merry wanted to then so did he. The problem now was how to
let him know. Well, Pippin reasoned all he had were actions, so now was the
time to let them speak louder than words.
He positioned himself over Merry and found his lips with
his. There was a warm and tender response so Pippin let his tongue explore a
little and, at the same time let his hand wander down towards the still tight
Merry caught his hand as it made contact and pulled it back
up, but by now Pippin had an erection of his own. He moved Merry's hand so that
he could know the urgency of his feelings, of his desire and his love.
Merry moved away and Pippin thumped his fist into the pillow
so that Merry might hear his disappointment. It was not lost on the older
hobbit and once more he touched his shoulder, his heart and his cousin, his
simple explanation of why he could not.
But Pippin could be a fierce debater too. He used the same
argument and took Merry's hand, touching it to his own shoulder, his heart and
Pippin studied his reaction carefully and for once he could
see what Merry said. "Oh Pip!"
Pippin, careful of his broken wrist, put both his hands
together around Merry’s in a gesture of supplication that said a heartfelt 'please'.
Without waiting for Merry to say no again, he kissed him and reached down,
desperate to please him and show his love in every way possible.
Merry had no more fight left in him. Pippin knew he was hurt
and tired and probably would not have agreed normally but it made no sense to
Pippin. They loved each other, what else was there? Why shouldn't they do this?
The little one moved down the bed to take the erection in
his mouth as he had done before, but Merry pulled him back up and just pushed
their bodies closer together, stroking Pippin's hardness with his hand and
putting the other's hand on his erection.
Gradually Merry eased Pippin's shirt open until he could
feel the naked body. He undid his own shirt and then lovingly and slowly he
kissed and caressed Pippin whilst easing them both into a steady rhythm. He let
his other hand wander and smiled, feeling Pip wriggle with delight as he gently
pinched the tip of a pointed ear. Merry followed his fingers with his mouth,
pushing Pippin's head down a little, he nibbled on first one ear tip and then
Merry continued to play with Pippin's ears, rolling one tip
around with his finger and thumb whilst nibbling on the point of the other at
the same time. Hobbits have very erogenous and sensitive ears and the sensation
almost drove Pippin wild.
As their passion grew so did their movements and soon they
were rocking against each other, stroking and panting, with sweat soaking their
bodies, melding them together. Pippin could hold back no longer and Merry knew
as he orgasmed from the giant shudder that ran through the little frame.
Pippin's finish sent him over the edge and he gasped out his pleasure,
clutching the little one to him as he reached his climax.
They lay still together for a long time, both wanting the
moment to last. Merry gently ran his fingers over Pippin's face, lovingly
caressing each contour and dimple, picturing the memory of his sweet face.
Pippin kept very still while Merry touched him, he knew that what he was really
doing was looking at him. He gazed up into the sightless eyes and the only move
he made was to lick playfully at Merry's fingers as they brushed across his
Eventually Pippin sat up and taking Merry's hand helped him
off the bed and over to the washstand. With difficulty because he was using
only one hand, the little hobbit managed to pour some more water into the big
basin and with a cloth and soap cleaned their sweaty bodies, hands and faces.
Then doing up their long shirts and donning the britches they had been given,
they set about the important task of second breakfast.
Pippin guided Merry's hand to the cup, knowing instinctively
when his cousin wanted to drink. Merry took a long draught of the sweet honey
mead then stopped and turned to where he could hear Pippin munching on an
apple. He caught Pippin's face in his hands to make sure he had his attention
then once more he touched his shoulder, his heart and pointed to Pippin.
Pippin stopped eating his apple and snuggled himself into
Merry's arms. Then carefully he moved back and, taking Merry's hand, touched
both their hands to his shoulder, his heart and then Merry's shoulder.
Pippin smiled in the dark corner of the cell as he
remembered, he hadn't after all taught Merry a signal for "I want to
pee" but they had learned to communicate a more important message.
In his head Pippin whispered soundlessly into the darkness,
"…means I love you, Merry – love you."
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