2010 HASA Birthday Stories
Elena Tiriel's 2010 Birthday Gifts!: 3. A Question of Dialect — thelauderdale
A Question of Dialect
by thelauderdale
"It's been sorted, Milord," the Orc informed him. "A goblin contingent from the Misty Mountains misunderstood an order. Their commander told them to shoot the horses, but they thought he said to aim for the wheels."
If Sauron's hand had been corporeal he would have smacked his similarly embodied forehead. "This is outrageous. I devised the Black Speech so that such things would not happen. I crafted this beautiful language and instructed my creatures in every aspect of its form, but absent a few centuries' watchfulness they have fallen back into dialect and disarray. What good is all of my Standardization if the dregs of my army will not use the noble grammar I have given them?"
"With respect, Milord, I don't think the problem is grammatical. It's more an issue of the homophones involved: northern snaga rukul and Mordor rûk."
"Oh, that makes it so much better," said Sauron icily. "I should just be glad they don't speak Dwarvish or they would have followed orders to shoot each other!"
Udalug's brow creased but he forbore angering his master further. In Sauron's current mood he would not have appreciated a reminder that the Khuzdul plural for "Orc" was actually Rakhâs.
-.-.-.-
Rukul ("wheel"; Svartiska Orkish, a Swedish conlang)
Rûk ("horse"; Land Of Shadow Black Speech, devised by Scatha)
Rukhs, pl. Rakhâs ("Orc"; Tolkien's Khuzdul)
