Tales of the North
Back to Middle-earth month 2012: 3. Causes of death
Limericks for the Causes of death bingo card (including a few prompts that weren't called):
Infection
A brave lad from Waymeet
Shaved off all the hair from his feet
Cut, he died of infection
A most unexpected reaction
Although his toes looked very neat
Arrow
Arathorn took an arrow to the eye
Not something you want to try
It stings when you do it
He said, I have to admit
A most unpleasant way to die
Torture
An Elf held in his own tower
Was captured by greater power
Disguise he could not maintain
He died in terrible pain
And in a mood rather sour
Poison
A noble lord in Armenelos
Was quite at a loss
For his darling wife
Had cut short his life
Feeding him mushroom sauce
Self-sacrifice
An Elf of Gondolin ran into trouble
When he hit a Balrog on the schnozzle
He died in self-sacrifice
Or maybe slipped on some ice
An ignominious end to their quarrel
Hypothermia
A happy young Elf out of Tirion
Didn't stay so for very long
Against all good advice
He attempted the Grinding Ice
But then, the Noldor always were headstrong
Burning
There was an old Steward of Gondor
Who'd had enough of the Ringwar
He said, upon lighting his pyre
One thing must be said for fire
You're guaranteed well done ... for
Head injury
Fingon, High King of the Noldor
Faced a Balrog much bolder
His head cloven in twain
He was thoroughly slain
And would grow no older
Exhaustion
An Orc captain out of Isengard
Ordered to run his vanguard
Groaning and gasping for breath
They ran to their death
For the pace he set was too hard
Falling
Ancalagon the Black was cast from the sky
No need to wonder why
Eärendil explained afterward
It's all above board
These dragons leave me no room to fly
Starvation
A fat hobbit from Overhill
once used to eat his fill
In the Lockholes he was found
No longer very round
Starvation wasn't such a thrill
Shock
There once was an elf-maid fair and bold
Her story has never yet been told
She tragically died of shock
Dancing among the hemlock
Her lover's hands were ice-cold
A/N: Thank you to everybody who offered suggestions whenever I rhymed myself into a corner...
