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Leithian Script: Act I: 2. Scene I

A Boy, A Girl & A Dog

The Lay of Leithian Dramatic Script Project

An Appointment in Menegroth



retold in the vernacular as a dramatic script

(with apologies to Messrs. Tolkien & Shakespeare)



envision wide upon this meager screen,

the lofty arches of deep Doriath,

where Elu Thingol, gray King of Elves

and Melian the Wise his wife

whose birth precedes the eldest stars,

hold high court before their host.

--Let thy mind

make of our panel white and keystrokes black

Shining caverns, enlumened all with bright

lamps of white gems all fashioned fair

upheld by dragons carved and gilt,

and water flowing o'er the stone

like to a grotto fashioned of the gods

where birds do sing beneath no sun --


into the shade of the holy trees

Luthien Tinuviel doth lead her love,

Beren the wanderer from out the woods,

before her mother musing and infuriate sire

before the assemblage of her friends and kin

and doubtful Daeron that betray'd of love . . .

Mom, Dad -- this is my fiance, Beren.

Well, well, well. So you're the fellow who's been camping in my woods
this past year. How did you get past the security system?


[distracted by the spears/crowd/nightingales/jewels/waterfall/trees/Melian]

How . . .? I, er, just, erm, kept walking, and . . . then I was here.

Thingol: [thinking]
--Yeah, right.


So, --Beren, is it? --what do you do for a living?

Orcs. Um. I, uh, I hunt them. Sir. [winces]

Really. And do you foresee a long-term career in this . . . admirable
venture of yours?

Beren: [desperate flippancy]
Well, I expect I'll be doing it the rest of my life.

Thingol: [not amused]
And this should impress me why?

Well, my dad was a good friend of the King of Nargothrond,
saved his life at the Siege of Angband, and they say I take
after Da -- I might be useful to have around, is all I'm saying.

Thingol: [biting sarcasm]
In case you hadn't noticed, this isn't Nargothrond -- or do I look
like Finrod Felagund to you?

I, I don't know, sir; I've never met King Finrod --

Thingol: [forced patience]
--That was a rhetorical question, boy. I'm saying I don't care
who your friends-and-relations are, I want to know what you
have to offer my daughter. I didn't raise Luthien to be a beggar
or a gangster's moll -- I expect her to take over the administration
of Doriath after me. We have lots of people who can kill Orcs,
and with eons more experience than you've got, so I don't really
see a place for your talents in our organization.

Well, my parents ran a realm too, not as big as this, but nevertheless --

Thingol: [losing it]
Silence! Impertinent puppy! Can you give me one good reason why
I shouldn't throw you into the labyrinth and delete the key? Do
you really expect me to believe that you've just been taking music
lessons from my daughter in the forest? I should chop you into
pieces and chop the pieces into pieces! --unfortunately, you'd miss
most of it --

Beren: [nervously]
Um, I know this isn't the best time to remind you, but Tinuviel
did say you'd promised me a safe conduct . . .


Thingol: [lethally]
Who's Tinuviel?

. . .

Luthien: [exasperated]
It's my nickname, Daddy. Like yours is Thingol. Because of my singing.
And you did promise. In front of witnesses.

Thingol: [raising voice]
--but as I was about to say, I stupidly promised her that I wouldn't
kill or maim you (I can't think why, all she does is look at me and
I give her whatever she asks for) but that doesn't mean I can't find
other ways to keep you from getting at her, you empty-handed vagabond--

Melian: [mindspeech]
Ahem. Elu.

Thingol: [mindspeech]
--Yes, dear?

Melian: [mindspeech]
The good news is -- that he isn't a brainwashed slave sent here by
our Enemy to assassinate you, kidnap Luthien or corrupt Doriath.

Thingol: [mindspeech]
Hmph. What's the bad?

Melian: [mindspeech]
That he isn't a brainwashed slave sent here by our Enemy to
assassinate you, kidnap Luthien or corrupt Doriath.

!?. . . !?

Melian: [mindspeech]
He's just a boy who's fallen in love with a stranger
he met in the woods.

[longish pause]

Thingol: [mindspeech]
--It was different for us...

Melian: [mindspeech, sighing]
It's always different...

[Simultaneous w/previous exchange: Enter the two chief warriors of Doriath.]

All right, all right, what's all the fuss?

Daeron, old boy! Fill us in!

[Daeron gives a guilty start and almost drops his flute]

Erm. Hullo, chaps. It's that Man you were all out looking for.
He just turned up. --How did he get past you?

How indeed? We figured he'd jumped the gate and made
a run for it. Done a bunk, as it were.

Right. When was the last time anyone got past us, Strongbow?

Beleg: [thinking]
Mm, seventy-four years ago. That wolf light-cavalry unit down the
cliffs on the other side. Didn't get far, though.

You sure it's been that long?

Sure I'm sure.

I don't remember all of that -- I think you've got an extra
decade in there.

No, that was the winter before the winter that the borders
got four cubits of snow and five of those things with six legs
and two heads.

Anybody know what those things are? What are they called,
anyway? Daeron?

[Daeron gives a guilty start]

You're the bard around here -- don't you know?

What's wrong with 'those things with six legs and two heads?'
or better yet, 'those dead things with six legs and two heads' --?

[Melian gives them a Look, and they quiet down. The conversation
regarding a suitable dowry is just concluding.]

So, if I brought back all three of them, and you had three
daughters, would you let me marry all of them? --Just curious,
sounds like a real bargain on elf-princesses--

Luthien: [stage whisper]
Beren! Shush! I don't know how long it would take me to get
you out of the labyrinth -- it might take a hundred years!

[Beren hushes up.]

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In Playlists

Playlist Overview

Last Update: 25 Nov 05
Stories: 6
Type: Reader List
Created By: Julie

These stories are double treats, despite being uncompleted. Althought I would heartily cheer to discover new chapters, setting is of equal importance to me as story, and these all contain complete and useful gapfillers of various places and periods in the history of Middle Earth. (Some of these have complete beginning stories, but haven't gotten to the end of the plot.) (I'm quoting from the author's overview summaries because I'm having problems trying to make good descriptions.)

Created for the HASA Playlist Challenge.

Why This Story?

" The Lay of Leithian retold in the vernacular a a dramatic script, part II. Humor/Drama." I'm recommending Acts I through IV; nearly all the plot is finished. The Luthien & Beren story with lots of Silmarillion gapfilling.


Story Information

Author: Philosopher At Large

Status: Reviewed

Completion: Complete

Era: 1st Age

Genre: Drama

Rating: General

Last Updated: 01/25/03

Original Post: 06/20/02

Go to Leithian Script: Act I overview