Henneth Annûn Story Archive

The sign-up for 'The Hobbit' will start November 7th after the Silm and the Appendices have closed (exactly which time, we still have to work out - sometime between Australien Time and US Time). Please do not try to hog any chapters before that. Avon and myself will try to keep track who wants what, but rumors have it that we are not perfect, so no guaranties. Chapter list (updated 7th March 2004): The Hobbit Chapter 1 - An Unexpected Party --> Marta Chapter 2 - Roast Mutton --> Marta Chapter 3 - A Short Rest --> Avon Chapter 4 - Over Hill and Under Hill -->Acacea Chapter 5 - Riddles in the Dark --> M.Sebasky Chapter 6 - Out of the Frying-Pan into the Fire --> Liz Chapter 7 - Queer Lodgings --> Elena Tiriel Chapter 8 - Flies and Spiders --> Sapphire Chapter 9 - Barrels Out of Bond --> Julia Chapter 10 - A Warm Welcome --> Nerwen Chapter 11 - On the Doorstep -->Paranoid Angel Chapter 12 - Inside Information --> Sapphire Chapter 13 - Not at Home --> Nerwen Chapter 14 - Fire and Water --> Liz Chapter 15 - The Gathering of the Clouds --> Starlight Chapter 16 - A Thief in the Night --> Imhiriel Chapter 17 - The Clouds Burst --> Marta Chapter 18 - The Return Journey --> Elana Chapter 19 - The Last Stage --> Moriel Cheers, Sapphire

 

Hi People,

today is the day - sign up for the Hobbit is open. I will check this board during the next day as often as I can (I'm not working from my computer at home, but from a friend's computer, as I'm on vacation in the US at the moment)

Deadline is 22nd of November (two weeks from now)

Cheers,

Sappire

 

Woo hoo! A Short Rest for me, please, and On The Doorstep for Paranoid Angel, please, as she is overseas with no computer acess.

Avon

 

Please oh please can I have the first chapter? What's the exact title? An Unexpected Party? You know the one I'm talking about. As my favorite cartoon cat has, there's just so much 'boo-joy attitute' (bourgeois) that I would really enjoy it.

Marta

 

I'd love to take a shot at "Riddles in the Dark."

Thanks!

 

I've never written a drabble before and would love to be able to do one of these. I'm don't mind which chapter I do (looking through, they all look equally impossible!) and I'm happy to take on whichever chapter is left that no-one else wants - but please, please don't forget to give me one!

Cheers, Liz

 

Okay,

- first chapter (Riddles in the Dark) is Marta's
- Short Rest goes to Avon
- Riddles in the Dark goes to M. Sebasky

I'll wait a little to see what's left for Tanaqui, but I make sure you get one (BTW, a drabble is a short story of exactly 100 word - here, you give your interpretation (I won't want to say summary, as it can be, but must not be one) of the chapter you pick)

I go for Inside Information

Cheers,

Sapphire

 

I'll wait a little to see what's left for Tanaqui, but I make sure you get one

Thank you! I wasn't sure if I was making your life more difficult by not going for something specific rather than easier by offering to pick up the chapter no-one else wanted ;)

Cheers, Liz

 

Could I have Over Hill and Under Hill please?

 

May I have A Theif in the Night?

 

okay to Acecea and Moriel for their chapters

Sapphire

 

Is it possible for me to request 'On the Doorstep' for Paranoid Angel as she's overseas with no computer access but will be back shortly and really wants to take part.

Thanks,

Avon

 

Is it possible for me to request 'On the Doorstep' for Paranoid Angel as she's overseas with no computer access but will be back shortly and really wants to take part.

sure, no problem.

sapphire

 

It's been forever since I read the Hobbit, so this is just a random choice for me. I'd like chapter 9 if it's still available. If not, anything would be fine.

Thanks,

Julia

 

Is it possible to change our drabble sign-up? If so, I'd like to change mine to Roast Mutton. If not, I'm okay. Heck, I wouldn't mind doing both of them, actually.

Marta

 

Marta,

as long as nobody has spoken for a chapter, I think it's no problem to switch ... though, if you wanna do two, I'm the last one to stop you ;)

so, for the moment, I put you down for chapter 1 and 2.

Julia, chapter 9 is yours

Sapphire

 

Is it possible for me to request 'On the Doorstep' for Paranoid Angel as she's overseas with no computer access but will be back shortly and really wants to take part.

sure, no problem.

Thank you. I suppose that means I ought to read it now...


Nic

 

*waves* Welcome back! Of course seeing as how you are back before all the chapters are taken you can always choose one for yourself.

Cheers,

Avon

 

Of course seeing as how you are back before all the chapters are taken you can always choose one for yourself.

I could but I'm feeling indecisive about it, so I'll just do that one.


Nic

 

As there hasn't been a mass rush to sign up for chapters (and the deadline is getting closer!), I'd like to make a specific bid for Chapter 6 - "Out of the Frying-Pan into the Fire" please.

Liz

 

As this is my first drabble, I have a question: where are we posting them when they're done? As a joint story under HA Writers?

(Also, does everyone else get the urge to write alliterative verse when drabbling, or is it just me?)

 

Yep, post them here, on the list (if you want) and as a joint story under hawriters - do you know how to do that?

Erm... no, no urge EVER to write allitereative verse, which is a jolly good thing for the world I can tell you ;-)

Avon

 

Yep, post them here, on the list (if you want) and as a joint story under hawriters - do you know how to do that?

I think so, I think I read that somewhere else - basically I sign on under the username "hawriters" instead of my own?

Erm... no, no urge EVER to write allitereative verse, which is a jolly good thing for the world I can tell you ;-)

Fair enough. Maybe it was just the chapter I was doing. Or maybe it was just me... Anywhere, here is my first attempt at a drabble:

Out of the frying pan into the fire

The sinking sun sends shadows ahead, the mountains behind. Bilbo, alone, wanders sorrowing, till quiet voices reveal dwarven friends. Gandalf he hears, defending his choice – and then does the burglar startle the doubters! Histories exchanged (some less than honest: the Ring still secret), the dwarves are impressed.

Now journeying on, footsore and hungry, they hear the wolves howl.

“Escaping goblins to be caught by wolves!” our hero cries.

Trees are their sanctuary while the Wargs muster, with fizzling fireworks to frighten their foes. Then goblins gather, fanning flames inwards. Down swoop the Eagles, poor Bilbo nearly left behind once more.

All feedback welcome!

Liz

 

I see what you mean about the alliteration! And well done for being the first to post their drabble. I have to admit I haven't quite got round to starting mine yet.

I had to look at the chapter to remind myself of what happened and your drabble seems like a good summary of it to me. And I did like the alliteration, and I'm impressed by it.

There's so much there it seems like more than 100 words. I was slightly confused by the fourth paragraph (ending 'our hero cries'. I'm wondering if it would be better with an only in there (ie escaping goblins only to be caught by wolves') although that makes a mess of your word count.


Nic

 

I had to look at the chapter to remind myself of what happened and your drabble seems like a good summary of it to me.

Thanks - I think the only bit I didn't get was a bit of interplay with the Eagles at the end, but I reckoned whoever did the following chapter would be including plenty of Eagle stuff!

And I did like the alliteration, and I'm impressed by it.

I wouldn't be that impressed, if I were you. It just kept turning up on its own uninvited... (although it didn't actually start demanding tea, beer, red wine, porter, coffee, seed cake, raspberry jam and apple-tart, mince-pies and cheese, pork-pie and salad, and "a few eggs").

I was slightly confused by the fourth paragraph (ending 'our hero cries'. I'm wondering if it would be better with an only in there (ie escaping goblins only to be caught by wolves') although that makes a mess of your word count.

Umm, it's actually a direct quote of something Bilbo says...! One of my favourite lines in the whole book. (The story goes on to explain that it became a proverb. One of the Hobbits in LoTR really should have said it at some point, shouldn't they?!?)

I do agree the "only" would help make it more sense and I know there is a word I could take out elsewhere to do that, but as it's a direct quote, I'm inclined to leave it as it is! (Unless you all gang up on me?)

You know, I may have to ask to sign up for another of these. They're got a kind of addictive quality, haven't they? You can't stop at having just one...

Cheers, Liz

 

Umm, it's actually a direct quote of something Bilbo says...!

Good point, I checked for it and suddenly it all makes so much more sense!

They're got a kind of addictive quality, haven't they?

They're deceptive like that...


Nic

 

They're got a kind of addictive quality, haven't they?

They're deceptive like that...

Yes - and I suspect they may be as damaging to your long-term health as eating your way through a box of chocs because you have to keep having "just one more"!

So, at the risk of descending into complete insanity, can I put in a bid to do Chapter 14 - "Fire and Water" as well?

Liz

 

Here's my drabble, all comments welcome.

As autumn turned to winter they came at last to Dale and the Desolation of Smaug. The wasteland they were in and the hopelessness of their situation dampened their spirits - except for Bilbo. It was he who found the door but he had little to do as the dwarves (except for Bombur) tried to open it.

Magic had shut the door and no mining tools could open it. Only Bilbo, who studied the map and watched the thrush discovered its secret. In the moonlight, the keyhole appeared, Thorin's key turned in the lock and the company were inside the Mountain.


Nic

 

Here's my (first) drabble. Still working on "Roast Mutton", and hope to have it done before the night's done, but it may be a day or so. I'll have it to you by the end of the weekend, at least. (Normally, I'd have it ready, but the universe has been conspiring against me lately: concussion, immobile shoulder, and computer problems, for starters.)

Anyway, here's AN UNEXPECTED PARTY.

=-=-=

A good morning. Whether good on its own, a morning to be good, or however else, Bilbo didn’t know; but he knew it was good.

The wizard towered over him, bushy eyebrows and raggly beard vaguely familiar, but Bilbo couldn’t place him until he heard the name: Gandalf.

Two days, thirteen dwarves, and many seed-cakes later Bilbo began to understand. These dwarves had lived in Erebor once, but long ago lost it to Smaug the dragon; now they wanted to take back their own.

Keep your adventure, he thought; but the Took in him answered: Nay; I am your burglar.

 

Never - NEVER - try to write an e-mail on a Japanese computer. They try to somehow change whatever you type into Japanese characters (as I just found out) ... luckily, there`s a key to shut it off again - only it`s labelled in Japanese

Long story short: my timing sucks. For the last week, I had to go on a business trip to Japan, and I had a) very little time for myself and b) zero access to the net. Which means I couldn`t take care of the challenge as I would like to do. Sorry about that *deep bow*

Right now, I`m at the airport on my way back home. I hope to I can write my bit on the plane (after all, the flight is long enough ...)

I will comment on the drabbles so far as soon as I`m back home and (hopefully) awake again.


See ya around the world,

Sapphire

 

I liked that. I was going to pick out my favourite lines but I'd be quoting the whole thing! I love the way you've described the bits of the chapter that are important to Bilbo.


Nic

 

Sorry I'm late on my submission. I've been sick the last couple of days.

Here you go. Riddles in the Dark at 100 words:

What have I got in my pocket?

A cold circle of metal. Questions in a dripping cave. His blade shines blue; a sure sign of danger nearby.

Sting was correct; peril was everywhere. Yet the blade of Gondolin, forged in the First Age, could not tell its owner of the evil that had slipped upon his finger.

"It must be a magic ring," Bilbo thought. "How lucky!" The creature Gollum's shrieks echoed in his ears.

Middle-earth's doom was his salvation that day. He left his buttons on the doorstep and raced away in the bright sun to find his friends.

 

Hey, I've still got two hours! Told ya I'd have it by the weekend...

=-=-=

HOBBIT CH 2: ROAST MUTTON

=-=-=

The rain fell down on our heroes as they rode across the Shire and the lands beyond, soaking through their cloaks, hoods, and the extras in their packs.

No fire, little food: what a night! But then a light far away. "Send the burglar!"

He found them, three stupid, fat trolls. Being quite inexperienced, he still tried to burglar them.

"What's a burrahobbit got to do with my pockets? And can ya eat 'em?"

Thirteen trolls in thirteen sacks by the fire. One burrahobbit hiding in the brush. And one wizard, quite unnoticed.

First light's troll's plight, so they say.

 

does everyone else get the urge to write alliterative verse when drabbling?

I have had to fight that urge on every drabble I've written. Well, not allitertive verse, but verse in general. I actually succumed twice: I did a "The Road goes ever on and on" for Fellowship, and for Aragorn and Arwen (Appendices) did their love story in the style of the old "Gil-galad was an Elven king" verse that Sam sings.

Yeah, I'm a glutton for punishment...

Marta

 

I just wanted to say how much I have enjoyed everyone else's drabbles.

Nic - you have a great sense of mounting tension in yours (a really great job to build suspense in so few words!)

Marta - I admire the way in "An unexpected party" you encapsulate long, convoluted scenes (The "good morning" scene and all the business with the dwarves arriving and wanting food) in a few words - and enjoyed how you expressed the conflict between the two sides of Bilbo's nature.

M Sebasky - I love the way you pick out that Sting can't warn Bilbo of the real danger.

Marta again - "First light's troll's plight": I laughed out loud at that - wonderful.

Cheers, Liz

 

Marta here, replying from the HAWriters name. Hope that's not too confusing.

I went to look for a story to post my drabbles in, since you guys seem about as pleased as I was. I guess, mentality-wise, I'm more in synch with Hobbit than Silmarillion (not the words you want to hear come out of the mouth of a senior math major, but any-who... ) These just came naturally.

Anyway, I've looked through the thread and seen no mention of a story, and I've looked through the HA Writers stories and can't find one listed, so I'm going to go ahead and create one. That means that everyone else can now feel free to log in under "hawriters" (same password) and post your drabble. If you're unsure how to do this, I'll be glad to do it for you, just let me know.

Marta

 

I have added my chapter to the story under HAWriters - thanks for setting up the story, Marta

Liz

 

Riddles in the Dark:
I loved the way you started with What have I got in my pocket? and the line Middle-earth's doom was his salvation that day.

Roast Mutton:
I also laughed at the last line, and the one that went: Being quite inexperienced, he still tried to burglar them.


Nic

 

May I please change my drabble from "A Theif in the Night" to "The Last Stage"?

~Moriel

 

sure, go ahead ...

Sapphire

 

Eeehr, yes, I think the deadline was about two weeks ago ...and, I think I had something to do with setting said deadline *blush*

But, eventually, I finally managed to work on my chapter. And here it is:

Inside Information

Third time pays for all! Thus the burglar slips on his ring and enters the dark passage. The red-golden dragon lies dreaming – he won't miss a small cup.

But dragons always know. Belching forth fire, he rises from the mountain, hunting for a thief. All he finds, though, are ponies.

Now seeking information, the burglar sneaks back into the golden hall. Rings, however, don't hide all and the mighty dragon seeks to trap himself a fly.

Instead, Thief Barrel-rider goes and steals the greatest treasure of all.

Swift wings carry the secret to Lake-town, where it will be useful indeed.



Cheers,

Sapphire

 

Don't have time to say much Sapphire, except that I liked it. I didn't have to re-read the chapter for it to remind me what had happened either.


Nic

 

RL has just spat me out of its greedy maws and I'll now try to do the chapter I signed up for... apologies

Avon

 

I'm very sorry that this drabble is extrememly late, and about how I switched drabbles. The other one wasn't working for me, and I didn't have the time to make it work.

Here this one is...I hope it's not too confusing!

*****

May first, they arrived in the Valley. Elves sang and tales there were, and rest for the weary, but Bilbo longed for home. After a while, they started out of the Wild. Said Gandalf, “You may find more needs than you expect,” when troll’s treasure was rediscovered. In the Shire, Bag End was in chaos, an auction was taking place, Bilbo was presumed dead. After convincing, he bought his own possessions, and settled down. Years later, Gandalf and Balin visited again, and much was at peace in the world. As for the Ring, the road goes ever on and on.

*****

Coments...?

~Moriel

 

I did like the last line. Your first two words confused me though - I didn't think May referred to a month, but that's purely because you talk about dates differently to us.


Nic

 

*sighs* I know this was due ages ago. I’m sorry I’ve taken so very long, but here goes Chapter 4 -

***

Over Hill and Under Hill

High up the mountains they walk until comes wind, then rain and hail. Shelter is found - a cave to rest in. But danger lurks behind a hidden door. Goblins!

They are trapped; prisoners, save Gandalf, who vanishes in a flash. Marched deep into the mountain’s heart, brought as spies before the goblin leader. Orcrist revealed; a fight looks to ensue. But Gandalf returns!

Lights bewitched, the Great Goblin falls. They flee; the goblins chase. Swords of old provide respite, not for long. Silent foes follow the wizard’s wand. The rear attacked first, Dori stumbles, and Bilbo falls, rolling… into darkness.

***

Any suggestions?

 

Liz said, in another thread where "The Hobbit" drabbles came up:

I did one I even offered to do a second, but the thread seemed to have died.... perhaps it should be revived?


Well... any takers? I think we should aim to finish this, and the Silm while we're at it.

 

Dwim, I will gladly take "Fire and Water." I'm also going to publicise this on HA.

Is any of the Silm left? I thought we'd finished that. I do know there's still a fair number of drabbles for Appendices, and I'll make a list of what's been taken but not submitted, and what's still up for grabs when I have the chance. Do you want to hold off on Appendices until after Hobbit gets off the ground?

Cheers,
Marta

 

I will gladly take "Fire and Water."

Marta - I put in a bid for "Fire and Water" way back up this thread but never got an answer to whether I could have it or not. Do I have to fight you for it?

 

Sorry, I was just looking at the list of who had signed up for what at the top of the thread. How about a deal?

"Gondor and the Heirs of Anarion" section of Appendix A is still up for grabs. That's right down your ally, Liz. If you'll write that drabble as well, you can have "Fire and Water" (I've already written much of it in verse form, anyway, and wouldn't mind not revisiting it).

I will take another chapter, and I'll even finish my "Durin's Folk" drabble.

As to which chapter -- I'm trying to remember which chapter is about the Battle of the Five Armies. I wouldn't mind taking a stab at that. Isn't it chapter Seventeen, "The Clouds Burst"?

Cheers,
Marta

 

Ah heck, I'll try "Queer Lodgings." I don't know why, but I've always liked the sense of space in that house. Gah. Don't know what I'll come up with, but sign me up.

Oh, and Marta, I just posted something to the HA list about these. I've left Appendices to your discretion, however.

 

"Gondor and the Heirs of Anarion" section of Appendix A is still up for grabs. That's right down your ally, Liz. If you'll write that drabble as well, you can have "Fire and Water"

Given you must know it's cutting off your nose to spite your face if you divert me from getting on with and finishing the wedding fic, I'll agree to that deal (yes, that part of App A is entirely appropriate for me, isn't it )

I'm trying to remember which chapter is about the Battle of the Five Armies. I wouldn't mind taking a stab at that. Isn't it chapter Seventeen, "The Clouds Burst"?

It is.

Are we going to have a new deadline for this?

Cheers, Liz

 

Given you must know it's cutting off your nose to spite your face if you divert me from getting on with and finishing the wedding fic, I'll agree to that deal

Well, you were the one who said drabbles shouldn't take more than twenty minutes... Plus, it's definitely in my interest for you to review that section, as I'm sure it will help you better beta for me.

Are we going to have a new deadline for this?

Absolutely. SOP is two weeks, isn't it? Then how about 20 March. And let's try to get these in on time this go-around. (I say that as much to myself as anyone else).

Will 20 March work for everyone? If so, we can tweek it.

I'm going to post an updated sign-up thread in the next message.

Cheers,
Marta

 

 

Plus, it's definitely in my interest for you to review that section, as I'm sure it will help you better beta for me.

I knew there must be an ulterior motive!

20 March is fine for me (and I said drabbles should only take 20 minutes. I didn't say they would )

 

Is the chapter 'Not at Home' still avaliable?
I'd like to have a try at doing a drabble and lie that chapter.

Nerwen

 

Is the chapter 'Not at Home' still avaliable?

Looks like it! Marta, Sapphire, we got another volunteer here!

 

Chapter 1 - An Unexpected Party --> Marta
Chapter 2 - Roast Mutton --> Marta
Chapter 3 - A Short Rest --> Avon
Chapter 4 - Over Hill and Under Hill -->Acacea
Chapter 5 - Riddles in the Dark --> M.Sebasky
Chapter 6 - Out of the Frying-Pan into the Fire --> Liz
Chapter 7 - Queer Lodgings --> Dwim
Chapter 8 - Flies and Spiders
Chapter 9 - Barrels Out of Bond --> Julia
Chapter 10 - A Warm Welcome
Chapter 11 - On the Doorstep -->Paranoid Angel
Chapter 12 - Inside Information --> Sapphire
Chapter 13 - Not at Home --> Nerdanel
Chapter 14 - Fire and Water --> Liz
Chapter 15 - The Gathering of the Clouds
Chapter 16 - A Thief in the Night
Chapter 17 - The Clouds Burst --> Marta
Chapter 18 - The Return Journey
Chapter 19 - The Last Stage --> Moriel

 

Right, so above I've posted a list of what chapters are still available and who's signed up for what.

If anyone will give me the html tag that marks through text (I've seen it on other forums) I will mark through the drabbles that have already been posted.

If you've requested a drabble and I've missed it, please let me know.

Cheers,
Marta

 

< s > blah blah < /s > Close up gaps.

Like this

 

Thanks, Dwim.

I've marked through all the drabbles actually posted at the HAWriters story. There were two missing: Avon's "A Short Rest" and Julia's "Barrels Out of Bond." If either of you guys are reading, could you please let me know how these are coming? I'll post to HA later tonight in case you're not reading.

If Avon never started hers, I officially put in my bid to do "A Short Rest." And I will do it in verse, in the style of the Rivendell elves.

Cheers,
Marta

(PS- I had originally putten Liz down instead of Dwim for "Queer Lodgings." This has been corrected. Mea culpa.)

 

I'd asked about the chapter 'Not at Home' but you've put a different name against it. Is it already taken, then?
I have to have a look at the remaining chapters to find a different one to have a go at.

Nerwen

 

Nerwen,

I think it's just a mistake—pen names were a little too close. Assume you're doing "Not At Home" for the moment.

 

Thanks, Dwimordene. I wasn't sure and didn't want to annoy anyone, but was in the middle of writing it and so wanted to ask.

Anyway, here it is. This is my first try at a drabble, and I'm a bit concerned that is seems a bit disconected, I never realised who few 100 words actually were before.

***

Not at Home

In darkness the dwarves sit,
The door is broken shut,
Bilbo braves Smaug’s hall,
Yet it is dark and empty

Bilbo finds the Arkenstone,
The Heart of the Mountain,
He picks it up to keep
Knowing that he should not

The dwarves draw courage
To come down into the hall
And examine the treasure,

Which rekindles the fire
Of their dwarvish hearts
And all eagerly explore

Thorin searching for the Arkenstone,
Finds a mithril coat
Which he bestows on Bilbo

They escape through the front gate,
Trekking through the destruction ,
Towards a safe place to rest,
Wondering where Smaug is.

***

Comments anyone?

( Edited 7th March - to correct tenses and punctuation)

Nerwen

 

If Avon never started hers, I officially put in my bid to do "A Short Rest."

Well, no I haven't started it - but it's still the one I want to do. So do I lose it or not?

Avon

 

I feel unaccountably brave at the moment after my first dip into the drabble-pond and would like to try Chapter 16 "A Thief in the Night" if it is still available.

Imhiriel

 

An updated list, with corrections—Nerwen, your chapter is now listed as yours. Avon, I'd say if you're still going to do it, then it's still yours. I think we can prise the teeth out of Marta's ankle readily enough. Imhiriel, you've got it.

Chapter 1 - An Unexpected Party --> Marta
Chapter 2 - Roast Mutton --> Marta
Chapter 3 - A Short Rest --> Avon
Chapter 4 - Over Hill and Under Hill -->Acacea
Chapter 5 - Riddles in the Dark --> M.Sebasky
Chapter 6 - Out of the Frying-Pan into the Fire --> Liz
Chapter 7 - Queer Lodgings --> Dwim
Chapter 8 - Flies and Spiders
Chapter 9 - Barrels Out of Bond --> Julia
Chapter 10 - A Warm Welcome
Chapter 11 - On the Doorstep -->Paranoid Angel
Chapter 12 - Inside Information --> Sapphire
Chapter 13 - Not at Home --> Nerwen
Chapter 14 - Fire and Water --> Liz
Chapter 15 - The Gathering of the Clouds
Chapter 16 - A Thief in the Night-->Imhiriel
Chapter 17 - The Clouds Burst --> Marta
Chapter 18 - The Return Journey
Chapter 19 - The Last Stage --> Moriel

 

Well, no I haven't started it - but it's still the one I want to do. So do I lose it or not?

Nope -- sorry for jumping the gun there. Go forth and drabble, Avon.

Not that I don't have enough nuzguls as is. (That maniacal chuckling you all hear would be my betas laughing at the understatement of the year.)

Cheers,
Marta

 

I think it's just a mistake—pen names were a little too close

It was a mistake -- sorry about that, I was trying to put the list up in a hurry, and obviously rushed too much.

Cheers,
Marta

 

It's not a problem. I was just a bit worried about posting ithe drabble if someone else shou;d have been doing it.

Nerwen

 

Hi Nerwen

very nice! I particularly like the phrase "broken shut" and the lines
Which rekindles the fire
Of their dwarvish hearts

It didn't seem at all disconnected to me - I think you did a fine job of telling the story. I suspect you're just aware of all the stuff you had to leave out (yes, 100 words isn't much).

My only two suggestions would be
* to check your tenses are consistent - I initially noticed this when I thought that you should have "Wondering where Smaug is" at the end, since much of the rest of the drabble is in the present tense. Then I noticed you had some lines in the past tense at the start ("the dwarves sat") but then some in the present tense ("Bilbo braves")
* to include some more punctuation!

(If you want any help with either of these issues, feel free to e-mail me off list)

Well done - and well done for being the first person to post their drabble in this round.

Cheers, Liz

 

I did an update on the the top of the thread.

And, if nobody else wants it, I'll take 'Flies and Spiders'

Still available are:

Chapter 10 - A Warm Welcome
Chapter 15 - The Gathering of the Clouds
Chapter 18 - The Return Journey


Cheers,

Sapphire

 

Hi Liz

very nice! I particularly like the phrase "broken shut" and the lines
Which rekindles the fire
Of their dwarvish hearts
Thank you - The second one is a direct quote though.
Thank you for the suggestions as well, I'll try and sort those things out - I hadden't realised I was swopping tenses.

Nerwen

 

Hi Nerwen

The second one is a direct quote though.

Well, being smart enough to pick out the right things to quote directly is half the art of drabbling a chapter! So it's still well done!

Cheers, Liz

 

Thank you, Liz.

If no one else is doing it I'd like to have a go at 'A Warm Welcome'.

One question I have is whether hypenated words count as one or two words eg Wood-elves.

Nerwen

 

My counter calls hyphenated words one word. The hyphen is your friend. It is a saving grace.

 

Thanks. I should have thought of seeing what the computer thought, but I do have the excuse that I was writing it on paper...

Nerwen

 

*grumbles* Tolkien put way too much action into these chapters

Fire and Water

The river runs gold. The fire-drake forges death in Lake-town. Vainly, grim-voiced Bard rallies the fight.

A thrush flutters. Wondering, Bard – of the line of Girion, Lord of Dale – understands and lets fly his final hope. The Black Arrow speeds straight.

A shriek that splinters wood and stone sunders the air. Smaug falls into the quenching water. The news travels fast as flight.

The Lake-men lament the loss of home and hero. Yet King Bard lives! And discovers men are hard to rule who must sleep on hard earth.

The Elves bring succour, before the march to the Lonely Mountain.

Cheers, Liz

 

Yep and the original drabble rules say hyphenated words are one word.

Avon

 

Liz, that's lovely! I love that first line.

Here's mine finally (well, mine and Tolkien's ;-)

******************************

O! What are you doing?
And where are you going?

They went into a hidden valley in deep summer’s dusk, a party of travellers needing rest, assurance - and the help of one who was both the heir of Elves and of the heroes of the North.

O! tra-la-la-lally
here down in the valley

Down there they found merry Elves, peace and rest for all - and wisdom. Swords were named, maps deciphered, songs sung and feasts eaten.

O! Will you be staying,
Or will you be flying?

And on blue midsummer’s day they rode away to adventure

O! tra-la-la-lally

***************************

More summary than anything else, I'm afraid.

Avon

 

Yep and the original drabble rules say hyphenated words are one word.

Just as well, now I've seen your drabble, Avon!

Goodness, you've even made me almost like the tra-la-la-lally song. A really nice summary of the chapter!

I particularly liked: Swords were named, maps deciphered, songs sung and feasts eaten.

Cheers, Liz

 

Hello all,

here's my drabble. I would be very grateful for any comments. I'm especially concerned about the last line. I wanted to keep the term "unpleasantness", because that's what Gandalf actually says, but I somehow think it's jarring. What do you think?

A Thief in the Night

The raven brought news of the coming of Dain. Now Thorin would never be swayed to relent, fearing neither foes nor coming of winter.

Deluding a sleep-craving Bombur, Bilbo ventured down from the mountain under cover of darkness, bearing the Arkenstone to the camp. There he, being, after all, an honest burglar, gave the Heart of the Mountain to Bard - the heart of Thorin. To be aid in the bargaining, hope for peaceful agreement. Simple Hobbit, thus gaining the respect of great Elven-king, heir of Lords and mighty wizard.

And returned to his friends, risking their wrath and fortold unpleasantness.

Regards,
Imhiriel

 

Hi Imhiriel

I think your drabble is really good and I don't find your use of "unpleasantness" at all jarring. One of the reasons I like The Hobbit so much is the way it mixes high drama, homely wisdom and sly humour and I think you capture that mix perfectly here.

My only minor suggestions would be:
* to take out the commas around "after all" (as it rather tripped me up trying to sort out which pairs of commas went together first time through) and to change the order of the words at the end of that sentence to give: "There he, being after all an honest burglar, gave the Heart of the Mountain - the heart of Thorin - to Bard."
* to put a comma before "and mighty wizard" just to clarify these are three separate people ie "great Elven-king, heir of Lords, and mighty wizard."

But I very much liked both those lines, while "sleep-craving Bombur" really conjured up poor complaining Bombur for me!

Cheers, Liz

 

Acacea!!!

Just found this! You do drabble well. You should collect the stray ones, like this, under one umbrella and post 'em up.

Lindorien

 

Goodness, you've even made me almost like the tra-la-la-lally song. A really nice summary of the chapter!

How can anyone fail to like the classic 'tra-la-la-lally' song?! I suppose next you'll be telling me you didn't like the fifteen birds song? ;)

(Yes, I loved "The Hobbit" by Rankin-Bass.)

 

I suppose next you'll be telling me you didn't like the fifteen birds song? ;)

On no, I LOVE the fifteen birds song in the book (why do you think I chose Out of the Frying pan as the first chapter I did for this Hobbit drabble?). But I've never seen any of the Rankin-Bass versions

Am I depriving myself here?

 

Thank you very much, Liz, for your suggestions and for your encouraging comments. I have incorporated the former in the text and the latter in my still-new writer's heart

Here's the new version. If no one has any more suggestions, I think it's finished and can be added to the appropriate place. Marta? Sapphire? would you please do this for me?

One question: My Microsoft Word program counts the hyphen or dash as one word - but that's not the case as far as the drabble count is concerned, is it? Or in general?

A Thief in the Night

The raven brought news of the coming of Dain. Now Thorin would never be swayed to relent, fearing neither foes nor coming of winter.

Deluding a sleep-craving Bombur, Bilbo ventured down from the mountain under cover of darkness, bearing the Arkenstone to the camp. There he, being after all an honest burglar, gave the Heart of the Mountain - the heart of Thorin - to Bard. To be aid in the bargaining, hope for peaceful agreement. Simple Hobbit, thus gaining the respect of great Elven-king, heir of Lords, and mighty wizard.

And returned to his friends, risking their wrath and fortold unpleasantness.

Imhiriel

 

I've finally got back here. First a few comments on other people's drabbles.
Imhiriel: You have caught the mood of this chapter. I really like it.
Avon: This really sums up the whole mood of the chapter - the mix of the serious bits with the flippency of the songs. I really like the phrase: a hidden valley in deep summer’s dusk , it is a wonderful image.
Liz: Very good - you have caught the way the emotions flow through this chapter, together with an accurate summary of an action filled chapter. The adjectives conjure up the really strong images.

Sorry for these not being very helpful or even coherient comments.
Second, my other drabble, done just in time for the deadline.

***

A Warm Welcome


The barrels float down into Long Lake, accompanied by Bilbo. He learns their luck to arrive safely. He frees the dwarves. They enter Lake-town. The guards ask their business; the reply comes, “Thorin Son of Thain son of Thror King Under The Mountain”.

The master receives them. The wood-elves protest. Yet they are feted by the townsfolk, singing songs new and old of events predicted and past. The raft-men return to tell the Elvenking, who sent spies to observe events. In Lake-town the dwarves determine that the time has come to face the dragon. Meanwhile Bilbo is ill and miserable.

***

Comments anyone?


Nerwen

 

Very good, Nerwen. Two mainly grammatical nitpicks, both in the first paragraph:

"He freed the dwarves." Do you mean to switch tenses here? Should this perhaps be "He frees the dwarves"?

"The guards ask their business, the reply comes 'Thorin ... '" perhaps change comma after "business to semicolon and insert comma after "comes"?

Other than that, though, it's really good. I think you captured the heart of the drabble.

Cheers,
Marta

 

Thank you very much, Marta.

I have duely corrected the mistakes you noticed. I really should have noticed that I changed tense there, [shakes head] I did read through it for mistakes before I posted it!

Nerwen

 

Hi Nerwen - a very nice drabble, neatly capturing the very different moods of the various characters in that chapter!

A couple of further technical points - it's Thror not Thor (and I think there's even an acute accent over the o?) and you have Elevenking, which should be Elvenking!

(Thanks also for your kind comments on mine)

Cheers, Liz

 

Hi Liz,

Thank you.

I've made the corrections now. I've checked in my copy and the o doesn't have an accent - but it doesn't seem to have accents on anything (on a quick skim through the book). The other reason I'm not put one on is that I don't know how to get accents on here. *blushes* Those were bad mistakes. I obvoiusly didn't read it very well.

Nerwen

 

Nerwen-

Don't worry about making stupid mistakes. In a vignette of mine, tears well up in Denethor's ears. (It should have been eyes, not ears, but It made it into the final version as ears.) This got past both my and Liz's (as my beta) read throughs, several of them. That's why a fresh pair of eyes are invaluable.

As to how to put in accent marks... I think there's a research article with the appropriate HTML tags, and there was a discussion on how to do them in the Tech Support forum. Also, if you're composing in Word or Wordpad, just type [control]--[apostrophe]--[o]. The apostrophe key on my keyboard is betweenthe semicolon and return key.

HTH,
Marta

 

Don't worry about making stupid mistakes. In a vignette of mine, tears well up in Denethor's ears. (It should have been eyes, not ears, but It made it into the final version as ears.) This got past both my and Liz's (as my beta) read throughs, several of them. That's why a fresh pair of eyes are invaluable.

Absolutely - I am mortified that I completely missed the ears/eyes thing (just goes to show how easy it is to read what you expect to read). I personally have a tendency to do "final edits" on my pieces that result in me cutting out words that really are quite vital to sentences. And one of the great things about HASA is the opportunity to post stuff in beta and get feedback about issues great and small.

Cheers, Liz

 

Thank you both for this - it does make me feel better. I know I must learn to read what is actually written, not what I intended to write, but I think I'm getting better at it - still a long way to go yet though.

And one of the great things about HASA is the opportunity to post stuff in beta and get feedback about issues great and small.
Very true. It does seem to be a good system. I just have to work out how to get more people to read my stuff.

Nerwen

 

I signed up for Chapter 18 over on HA. Here it is. Chapter 18 – The Return Journey Victory after all. A gloomy business. Beorn bears wounded Thorin from the battlefield. Bilbo comes to Thorin’s bedside, and they are reconciled before the final farewell. Bitter adventure, to end so. Thorin is laid beneath the mountain, Arkenstone on his breast, Orcrist a watchlight upon his tomb. Many partings along the road. As payment for burglary, Bilbo bears away only two small chests, one filled with silver, one with gold. And – one magic ring. Looking back, snow gleams on mountain peak in place of dragon fire. The Took is tired, ready to sleep. The Baggins is ready to be home. Elana

 

Elana - that's terrific - very poetic and really captures the essence of the chapter. I'd pick out my favourite lines but I'd just end up quoting the whole thing. You definitely have a talent for drabbling! Cheers, Liz

 

I agree with Liz on this drabble, Elana. I liked the alliteration - it was helpful of Tolkien to provide lots of T and B names I really, really love the first line. Nic

 

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. I hadn't intended or even noticed the alliteration, but now looking at it there are an awful lot of b's in that second paragrahph, aren't there? I'm glad it works. I really, really love the first line. It's really easy to write great lines when you pretty much quote directly from Tolkien . Now, am I supposed to add it to the main story? And how do I do that? In any case I'll wait a few days to see if anyone has any suggestions for improvements. Elana

 

I hadn't intended or even noticed the alliteration, but now looking at it there are an awful lot of b's in that second paragrahph, aren't there? I'm glad it works. I get the urge to alliterate when writing drabbles as well! It's a bit scary Now, am I supposed to add it to the main story? And how do I do that? In any case I'll wait a few days to see if anyone has any suggestions for improvements. You need to sign in under the HA Writers ID so that you can edit the story as you would one of your own. The instructions are in this thread but give me a shout if you need help. Cheers, Liz

 

Hi! Dwim offered up "Queer Lodgings" on the HA list, and I've replied letting her know that I've volunteered to do it if she truly does not think she will be able. Awaiting her response... (And re-reading the chapter!) - Barbara

 

Barbara, Go for it. It's officially listed as yours now. Thanks! Dwim

 

Thanks, Dwim! I think... It's, um, a much longer chapter than I remembered... - Barbara, who is now trepidatiously wondering what she got herself into

 

Update on who's doing what and what is available: Chapter 7 - Queer Lodgings --> Elena Tiriel Chapter 8 - Flies and Spiders Chapter 9 - Barrels Out of Bond --> Julia Chapter 15 - The Gathering of the Clouds Chapter 17 - The Clouds Burst --> Marta So - chapters 8 and 15 are available to the first person to ask, chapter 7 has just been taken by ET and Julia and Marta have chapters 9 and 17 respectively, if they still want them. Avon

 

I'll take "Flies and Spiders" too, if no one else wants it. - Barbara

 

Here 'tis! It's my first attempt at condensing a chapter, so any feedback and criticism would be most humbly appreciated...

- Barbara

Edit: Revised 22Oct05


Queer Lodgings

"Don't annoy Beorn!" commanded Gandalf while approaching Beorn's bee-pastures, for the skin-changer was appalling when angered -- and could become quite a bear.

"Don't arrive together!" instructed Gandalf, who wished to draw out the company's misadventure-tale to impress the fierce goblin-bane and enlist his support.

"Don't stray outside!" threatened Beorn, leaving his almost-respected guests to generous hospitality from animal servants -- and bear-haunted nightmares.

"Don't drink black-enchanted waters!" warned Beorn, as they set out, provisioned with food, a travel route, and (for awhile) his ponies.

"Don't despair!" called Gandalf, abandoning the grumbling Dwarves at the unwholesome-looking Forest-gate.

"And DON'T LEAVE THE PATH!"

 

I'll take "Flies and Spiders" too, if no one else wants it. - Barbara Go for it. Avon

 

That's very cute, Barbara. It is such a unique way of doing it and does sum it all up well. Avon

 

Chapter 8 - Flies and Spiders ---->Elena Tiriel Chapter 9 - Barrels Out of Bond --> Julia Chapter 15 - The Gathering of the Clouds Chapter 17 - The Clouds Burst --> Marta Julia and Marta, could you let me know if you still want to do your chapters? Any takers for chapter 15? Avon

 

Just passing along the word that Marta would be happy to have someone else take on chapter 17. Dwim

 

Thanks, Dwim. Chapter 8 - Flies and Spiders ---->Elena Tiriel Chapter 9 - Barrels Out of Bond --> Julia Chapter 15 - The Gathering of the Clouds Chapter 17 - The Clouds Burst Julia could you let me know if you still want to do your chapter? Any takers for chapter 15 or chapter 17? Avon

 

I'll do chapter 17 (anything with the Elven King in it!) Jay

 

Great, Jay! New list: Chapter 8 - Flies and Spiders ---->Elena Tiriel Chapter 9 - Barrels Out of Bond --> Julia Chapter 15 - The Gathering of the Clouds Chapter 17 - The Clouds Burst ----> Jay

 

Hi! Tanaqui wrote this for me, since my muse was being utterly non-cooperative. I'm posting it on her behalf:


Flies and Spiders — by Tanaqui

Little light, scarce food, less cheer. Burdened by blissfully sleeping Bombur instead of bread. Even the butterflies and wind on his face add to Bilbo's gloom as they press on through the endless forest.

Tempted from the path – despite Gandalf's warning! – by fire and feast, they are lost.

Yet Sting shines at last, and so does Bilbo. He cuts his bonds indeed and finds his hidden Tookish half. Spiders are defeated with thrusts of wit as well as courage and a strong arm. Dwarves are rescued. And at last the hobbit earns grudging – if befuddled – respect.

But where is Thorin?

 

Hi there,

I just noticed that my drabble "The Gathering of the Clouds" (it's not in this thread but another one I can't find at the moment) has never got added to the final combined posting. I think I might be the only person left - sorry I somehow managed to miss doing this

Could someone point me towards the instuctions on how to post to HAWriters?

Thanks,
Alawa

 

Hi Alawa!

I don't know the answer, but I suggest sending a HASA internal message to the Challenges Manager, explaining the problem, and I'm sure you can get some help from someone who knows....

- Barbara

 

Thanks Barbara, will do.

Alawa

 

Thanks Barbara, will do.

Alawa

 

I know I wrote this long ago, but can't remember if it was ever posted. 

The Clouds Burst

Trumpets ring, banners appear, demands made.  The Arkenstone is a bargaining-piece – battle lines drawn. Only one resists the greed – 'Long will I tarry, ere I begin this war for gold,' speaks the Elvenking. 

Dread falls; black clouds gather.  A thunderclap; wind roars down from the hills.  Vast armies of orcs and wolves fall upon elves, men, and dwarves – fighting together now, all differences forgotten. 

Cold flame flickers from sword and spear; burning with immortal hate.  Elves, dwarves, men fall beneath the crushing multitude, hope vanquished.  Defeat is certain, until a glad cry is raised.

The eagles! The eagles are coming!

Jay

 

Could someone point me towards the instuctions on how to post to HAWriters?

There used to be an in-common password that anyone could use to sign in as 'HAWriter' to add stuff in common stories. I don't think anyone has used it in almost a year, since Ang coded the workshops and the possibility of adding chapters to stories with your own name attached.

The Challenges Manager(s) used to have the monthly password, and you had to ask for it to be sent privately. I have no idea if they still keep it somewhere, though I assume 'HAWriter' is still an 'active member' and can post.

You might contact them or send a mesage to TechSupprt and ask Ang.

Would it make sense to create a "The Canon Drabbled" workshop to put the drabble collections in so they can be tweaked, or are they for the most part 'finished'?

Gwynnyd

Workshop Admin

 

Would it make sense to create a "The Canon Drabbled" workshop to put the drabble collections in so they can be tweaked, or are they for the most part 'finished'?

Aha! Thank you for jogging my memory, Gwynnyd!

The drabbled canon stories are already in a workshop called "HASA Drabbles Workshop"!

So, Alawa, all you have to do is join the workshop, and you will be able to update the story directly from your own login. *

I suspect Gwynnyd, as Workshop Admin and Advocate , would be happy to help you with this...

- Barbara

* Addendum: IIRC, it may involve deleting the blank chapter that's there already (or resetting the chapter number to zero), then adding a new one under your own login.

 

Hi Jay!

Yes, your drabble is already in the story - I just checked.

Very nicely done, too! You captured the chapter well -- and, from experience, I know that is hard!

- Barbara

 

The drabbled canon stories are already in a workshop called "HASA Drabbles Workshop"!

Great minds think alike!  Thank you for beating me to it! 

I suspect Gwynnyd, as Workshop Admin and Advocate , would be happy to help you with this...

Why, yes, indeed, I am.

 Gwynnyd

 

Gwynnyd, Barbara thanks! I've been in contact with another admin who is kindly going to help me when she gets a moment - but I'll happily post it myself if I can. I've joined the Workshop, but I wasn't sure where to go from there. Should I have "cloned" the chapter and gone from there?

Thanks again,
Alawa

 

Hi,  Just to say my chapter has now been posted so The Hobbit is now complete.

Cheers!

 Alawa

 

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