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Discussing: love challenge

love challenge

Well, I gave it a go, but I feel less secure about this than the dark verse.

 

 

Re: love challenge

I wonder why? Well, the dark verse was very, very powerful (as I am trying to write for the love challenge, I have discovered that rather grim stuff comes out easier than pure romantic! strange, isn't it?) But Jewel of the Hunt was beautiful. Villanelles are fascinating, they allow you to play with repetition and images that come back again and again... it's lovely, and sometimes it is fun, playful.

I love what you did with this. You take us through the tale of Faramir's healing of Eowyn and what it did to her, how she changed, and why, with just a few well-placed phrases. I hope you will write some more of this.

Starlight

 

 

Re: love challenge



Thanks so much for taking the time to talk about the love poetry. I really need the encouragement.

My heart-sister Chris read and beta-ed this over the phone with me tonight, and it was not till today I realized she does not really like verse, and has been struggling through mine on a simple language basis. Actually, language is what I wanted her help with – and to know if there was still sense in the lines, since I get so caught up in the sounds - so she was a big help to me.

But she also knows my own heart too well and I knew she would see something in this poem that was meant to be a secret – or at least, not meant to be obvious - and she did. (And that is that it is as much from me as from Eowyn - I actually wrote it for my husband, because it was the only way I could express the amount of love I wanted to have expressed for Faramir.)

I tried to get this poem to lend itself to both voices – I wanted the third verse to also work read back in the male (Faramir) voice, because love poetry in one voice seems sad to me.

I watched my old life slowly bleed away
I found to my surprise that I was free
I turned to meet your eye, my heart your prey




I think darker verse is easier for me to look at when it is done, because in my head it is always narrative. I know how to check for rhyme, meter, mechanics -- and when I am writing in character I usually have a pretty good idea if I have captured the story or idea to my own satisfaction. (I am less sure if I have expressed it clearly) You can probably tell from my overlong introductions that I am generally hoping to get to a specific place.

The love poetry seems so much -- bigger. I wanted to capture a concept, not just a moment or a picture or a thought.

I think the trick with a love poem is that even thought here I want the verse to evoke a particular pair of lovers, it also needs to be open enough to have people recognize something about love in general, or at least in their own lives. Love poetry needs to be universal.

I am quite caught up at the moment in the interlocked forms, and as you say, playing with the repetition, especially reaching for the repeated line to have different meanings, or at least a different voice. I am also caught up in trying to find a form that fits the culture it expresses - I would like to try the Anglo-Saxon alliterative style, but maybe a different Rohhiric lover - I have always had it bad for Hama - perhaps he has a secret admirer?

I can’t wait to see your love poem – I am especially fascinated by the pairings that are being selected.

Did you have trouble zeroing in on that? It was the hardest part for me. (Not so much writing for Faramir, who I have loved for almost fourty years, but to pick Eleanor / Fastred took some time. I would like to try more of this, if pairs of lovers would only suggest themselves!


And thank you again for taking the time to encourage me!


Gaudete!

tay / powzie / fileg




 

 

Re: love challenge

I’m slowly catching up with my reading backlog. ‘Elenor’ was just lovely – very sunny and simple and hobbitlike. I can just imagine Fastred singing it.

Your Eowyn poem was lovely too. I particularly liked the contrast between “I saw the feathered dart I felt the bite” and “I touched the softness of the arrows feather”.

You replied to Starlight:

I tried to get this poem to lend itself to both voices – I wanted the third verse to also work read back in the male (Faramir) voice, because love poetry in one voice seems sad to me.

I watched my old life slowly bleed away
I found to my surprise that I was free
I turned to meet your eye, my heart your prey


I think you did. At one point I found myself checking back to the title to remind myself who was speaking and it might well have been at this verse.

The love poetry seems so much -- bigger. I wanted to capture a concept, not just a moment or a picture or a thought.

I think the trick with a love poem is that even thought here I want the verse to evoke a particular pair of lovers, it also needs to be open enough to have people recognize something about love in general, or at least in their own lives. Love poetry needs to be universal.


I think that fanfiction has something special to offer here. I’m a very new writer and I discovered fanfic quite a while before I was coerced into writing anything myself but I found that I responded to some stories in a more powerful way than I did to any conventional fiction – they just immediately pushed my buttons. I think this is because they have the whole weight of JRRT’s creation behind them and my response to that which is a connection with the universal. So when your Eowyn poem taps into that, which it does, then it is immediately universal for me. In fact the same thing did happen to me with your Denethor poems too. As I say I’m a novice and feel that I am really only dabbling, but, in most cases, I do aim at trying to evoke a response of this kind in my writing. It is just natural for me to think in that way. Whether I succeed or not is entirely another matter.

I am also caught up in trying to find a form that fits the culture it expresses - I would like to try the Anglo-Saxon alliterative style, but maybe a different Rohhiric lover - I have always had it bad for Hama - perhaps he has a secret admirer?

I do hope you try this one! I did think about it myself in relation to Grima and the Bitter Valentine’s Day Poetry Challenge but couldn’t get into the right mindset. I think it was the lack of any OE love poetry to go on. They didn’t seem to go in for it in the conventional sense. It might be easier for non bitter poetry though.

Thanks for writing!





 

 

Re: love challenge

Alawa –

Eleanor is SO not like my natural style I still wonder where it came from. I had a very hard time with it – for the longest time I could not settle to it, and I felt like I was trying to write for Hobbiton Top Forty radio. An interesting exercise for me, though. And a few lines I like quite well.


Your Eowyn poem was lovely too. I particularly liked the contrast between “I saw the feathered dart I felt the bite” and “I touched the softness of the arrows feather”.

Thanks for seeing that – arrows and love – so hard, so sharp, so penetrating --- so soft. (I am such a hopeless romantic. Fortunately, also married to one.)

Did you find the place where I tried for both voices too jarring? I am still thinking about that two voice sonnet….

I totally agree about having the weight of the cannon behind you. You can work it just like you would work mythology or symbol, and know that your audience already understands. Very heady stuff!

I am still just aiming the arrow most days – I get swept up in individual words, then line pattern and I am lucky to have Chris as beta backup who will tell me (a household phrase around here) “This sentence no verb!” or “Why does the end happen in the middle?” Keep aiming – you have taught me to look at the sonnet as a workable form. I think your verse hits its mark well, your rhythm as important as your words... And very thought provoking.

I am still thinking about Hama, too. I am not sure I would have gone for the alliterative Anglo Saxon verse for Grima in any event – he seems so alien to his own culture, and I can’t wrap my brain around him using that thundering hooves rhythm. Perhaps I have already classed him as Orthanc. I think they need a sestina!!


Gaudete!



 

 

Re: love challenge

I did think about it myself in relation to Grima and the Bitter Valentine’s Day Poetry Challenge but couldn’t get into the right mindset. I think it was the lack of any OE love poetry to go on.

Did you see the thread about OE love poetry?

 

 

Re: love challenge

Oh, somebody write the Sestina! Wouldn't it be interesting?

Tay, I like your descriptions of love poetry in one voice to be sad... indeed! And, we sense that in your poem. It is also successful in capturing more than a moment, but a feeling, and one to which all of us can relate.

Did you have trouble zeroing in on that? It was the hardest part for me. (Not so much writing for Faramir, who I have loved for almost fourty years, but to pick Eleanor / Fastred took some time. I would like to try more of this, if pairs of lovers would only suggest themselves!

Yes! Fixing on a pair that works can be somewhat... daunting, actually. I went for Theodwyn and Eomund (and I have no idea why. I guess I wanted to try a villanelle, and Theodwyn seemed just the one for it) Your Elanor and Fastred is a lovely one, light and pretty, very hobbit-like and still portrays a deep feeling that goes beyond the images.
Would you try another pairing? Please, do. What you've written is so beautiful, I'd love to read more!

 

 

Re: love challenge

Did you find the place where I tried for both voices too jarring? I am still thinking about that two voice sonnet….

No I don't think so - and I'd really like to see that sonnet

Keep aiming – you have taught me to look at the sonnet as a workable form. I think your verse hits its mark well, your rhythm as important as your words... And very thought provoking.

Thanks for the encouragement - I'll try! - and I definitely hope to see that sestina!

 

 

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