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Discussing: Breathe/Peace Like a River...

Breathe/Peace Like a River...

Oh my gosh! Tay, I should have realized that Peace Like a River... made the perfect closure of the circle for Breathe! Even tho' I think Peace Like a River... stands well enough on its own as a vignette, the emotion is magnified by the connection to Breathe.

Your solution to the question re: Merry and Pippin works very well IMO. I had to look carefully to see where it was changed.

I wonder if this the first time someone has taken two stories which have been accepted seperately for publication and posted them as one like this?

Either way, congratulations. Together or seperately Breathe and Peace Like a River... do Tolkien's creation justice.

~Nessime

 

 

Re: Breathe/Peace Like a River...

Thanks so much, Julia! I have wanted to add Peace to the set since I first wrote it, but it did not seem fair to add un-approved material to approved. Once 'Peace' cleared review on its own, I felt more secure putting the pieces together.

I am hoping Starlight's delicious painting of the boys leads to me adding another!

Insider trading note -- Did you recognize Faramir's big grey horse as Gwathithil?

 

 

Re: Breathe/Peace Like a River...

I am hoping Starlight's delicious painting of the boys leads to me adding another!

Ooo! I can see a wonderful opportunity for you to make a connection with the boats in Starlight's painting to Far's paper boat in Peace....

~Nessime

PS added - Insider trading note -- Did you recognize Faramir's big grey horse as Gwathithil?

How could I not? ~N.


 

 

Re: Breathe/Peace Like a River...

Does it work? Oh, my. I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. Truly beautiful.

He understood that Boromir was dead, yet looking into the light he was drawn to the peace and beauty that transfigured the warrior’s face. His brother smiled as though his closed eyes focused now only upon the stars.

This rings so true.

There had been a time when his hands had the power to pull his brother back from Anduin’s grasp. She had released him for only a little while - yet it had been time enough for his brother to learn to be at ease in the water. Boromir no longer needed his aid [snip lovely stuff]…
“Don’t forget to breathe,” he whispered.


Oh my, oh my. Beautiful. Thanks for doing this.


 

 

Re: Breathe/Peace Like a River...

They were beautiful separately - but they make an even more lovely whole.

Avon
PS: Is there a typo in the summary for Peace... ?

 

 

Re: Breathe/Peace Like a River...

Flick, thanks! This was my first story, and in fact, the first time I spoke of The Blade of Gondor and The Raven of Ithilien out here in the big world. The reaction I got was not the one I anticipated!!

I know what Boromir means to you, so I am especially delighted this did not let you down. And I am pleased that you liked “Don’t forget to breathe,” As so often happens with my version of the boys, they offer each other the advice they most need themselves.


Avon: re typo - If there was NOT a typo, would you still know it was me? Thanks, caught it now.


I am trusting you guys to let me know if it works to add these pieces to each other, They seem to make a cycle to me, but obviously they were not written to go together, so tell me if they need to stand apart.

After all, I sometimes think everything I have written is part of this cycle - certainly River of Fallen Stars -- but I felt I needed this to be here.

 

 

Re: Breathe/Peace Like a River...

I had not realized you had added Peace to Breathe. The results, as always, made my eyes blurry. I agree with you, this is part of the cycle and closes the whole giving us what we needed to know: Faramir has found a way to move on, at last.

I love it when your heart is in the Anduin...

Starlight

P.S. I knew the grey horse had to be Gwathithil!

P.P.S. You know, when I first started my sketches for Brothers, the ships and that sly little gull appeared on the river out of I don't know where. Then I became so insecure of including them that I had left them out, until I read Peace... then I knew they belonged.

 

 

Re: Breathe/Peace Like a River...

You know, when I first started my sketches for Brothers, the ships and that sly little gull appeared on the river out of I don't know where. Then I became so insecure of including them that I had left them out, until I read Peace... then I knew they belonged.

I love that painting, starlight, and I have already set down a few notes that I hope will turn into a story. I loved the sneak preview I got of Blade, so beautiful and young! And the gull over the Anduin is almost its own story for me! I can't wait to get wet.

I smiled a little when you said you were insecure about adding them - (you sounded just like Faramir does in "Peace" when Nessime asked if he had a negative muse, and we decided its name was "Dad")

I have been feeling insecure myself because all three things I want to work on are Faramir again! Silly of me, I guess - but I was glad to get to two different spots for the banners challenge. It is one thing for you guys to know Faramir owns my heart, and another thing to announce it to everyone!


 

 

Re: Breathe/Peace Like a River...

I am trusting you guys to let me know if it works to add these pieces to each other, They seem to make a cycle to me, but obviously they were not written to go together, so tell me if they need to stand apart.

I think they work well apart, but I love them together. Breathe by itself always breaks my heart, that final image of Faramir climbing back up the riverbank alone. Adding "Peace Like A River" brings it all the way back around to healing, and it's beautiful. Leave them together.

 

 

Re: Breathe/Peace Like a River...

I smiled a little when you said you were insecure about adding them - (you sounded just like Faramir does in "Peace" when Nessime asked if he had a negative muse, and we decided its name was "Dad")



I'm still laughing -really hard- from reading that. Pretty negative muse, I believe...

I love that painting, starlight, and I have already set down a few notes that I hope will turn into a story. I loved the sneak preview I got of Blade, so beautiful and young! And the gull over the Anduin is almost its own story for me! I can't wait to get wet.

I'm thrilled to see you liked it, Tay. I also liked young Blade, and I was truly surprised when he came out like that. The gull... it made its way into the painting in the end. If you do write the story, I think I'll cry by seeing how the images in my head made their way into someone's writing. Just by knowing you like it and it's talking to you, you've given me a wonderful gift.

I have been feeling insecure myself because all three things I want to work on are Faramir again! Silly of me, I guess - but I was glad to get to two different spots for the banners challenge. It is one thing for you guys to know Faramir owns my heart, and another thing to announce it to everyone!

Well, the banners stories were wonderful. Don't worry about Faramir! Seize the moments when he speaks to you and listen to what he has to say. And, you know we'll be here to listen along with you...

Starlight
*who dearly loves Tay's Faramir*

 

 

Re: Breathe/Peace Like a River...

I am trusting you guys to let me know if it works to add these pieces to each other, They seem to make a cycle to me, but obviously they were not written to go together, so tell me if they need to stand apart.

I just realised you added Peace Like a River... to Breathe. It certainly does work - beautifully!

I have been feeling insecure myself because all three things I want to work on are Faramir again! It is one thing for you guys to know Faramir owns my heart, and another thing to announce it to everyone!

You must not feel insecure at all! Your Faramir is lovely and it's wonderful of you to share him with all of us. And the more you do, the better.

 

 

Re: Breathe/Peace Like a River...

Thank you Acacea ( and all of you, for your input. ) And especially for being encouraging about Faramir. When I first wrote Breathe, I mentioned that I was afraid I only had one story and would tell it over and over – I guess I still worry about that at times, since his voice is so strong in my head.

I had a personal reason for sending this through review right now – I needed the closure for myself.

Some of you asked on the mailing list recently about my signature quotes, the ones that come from the work of Dave Carter, and I was beyond thrilled to be able to share his words. A year ago today, I was at my desk writing about Boromir’s passing for my book group, playing Dave's song When I Go over and over (it had come to symbolize for me what I was trying to get to the heart of) when I got the word of Dave’s death.

I am putting my little paper boat here in the Electronic Anduin tonight, and like Faramir, hoping.

-- gaudete --

 

 

And another boat in the Electronic Anduin...

Happy birthday, Tay! I wanted to write a poem for you because you have shared so much poetry with us and helped even those of us who will always need waterwings to splash in this particular Electronic Anduin. I wanted to write it around something of yours to give you back some of the gift of words that you share with us. It has to be the thought, not th execution, that counts but here it is:


Twilight dims and darkens, sunset slowly falls
And, as I for night’s darkness wait,
Down along the river I hear the wild birds’ calls.

The river sings of peace and valour, pain and fate –
But I feel my grief burn in my throat
As, with brush and ink, I try this world to recreate.

In the star-lit dark, I fold with care a paper boat
That holds the prayers and love I send -
Then I light the candle and let this brave ship float.

I watch the light ‘til it fades, round Anduin’s bend,
Where may my brother see it from the Halls
And so in flames does my family end.


Twilight dims and darkens, sunset slowly falls
Down along the river I hear the wild birds’ calls.


Avon

 

 

Re: And another boat in the Electronic Anduin...

I love the thought, and I also love the word. Avon, this is not a poem. This is a song, a prayer, and a hymn - and I think it will play in my head all day.

This story means more to me than I can ever say – luckily, I don’t have to, because you guys know. It was my first timid step into the Anduin. It was also my first hold-your-breath leap. I was more frightened of exposing the Raven and the Blade than I was of showing my writing! It was more like a baptism (ok, a baptism of fire) than a vignette. It gave me confidence in showing my writing, and in my Faramir – and it gave me some of the most wonderful friends I have ever had.

The electronic Anduin is open all night, and we have sometimes passed the torch as it flowed through the time zones. Tonight I can feel myself hurtling around the worlds, rushing to kiss the sun in Belfalas.

Avon, writing for me (Poetry!! From halfway around the world! WooHooo!) is such a beautiful gift. But tying it to this moment, to the raven – letting me watch over him in “the wild bird calls”- I can’t say… it closes my throat with tears.

I have always loved the moments when we spark off each other. I get a very special present for my birthday – the persiad meteor showers. Now my Raven is part of the fireworks - In the star-lit dark, as we strike sparks into the water,

I honestly love every line – but you did take my breath with And so in flames does my family end. Fire and water - purification and rebirth. I so need the boys to share that symbolism. I keep reaching for it. There it is.

I am hearing a tune, I swear, for the paired lines. I LOVE the paired lines:

Twilight dims and darkens, sunset slowly falls
Down along the river I hear the wild birds’ calls.


I think it might be a spiritual. It is, now.

Down along the river I hear the wild birds’ calls.

A million thanks!

Gaudete!!!!

 

 

Re: And another boat in the Electronic Anduin...

I get a very special present for my birthday – the persiad meteor showers. Now my Raven is part of the fireworks - "In the star-lit dark, as we strike sparks into the water,"

Happy Birthday, dearest Tay. I have no poetry in me at the moment, just a lot of affection for the lady who made me believe that I really could write it. I just have to wait for it to come to me. Meanwhile, I continue, yeoman like, to play around with different lines, different forms, in the hope that a spark will ignite.

I honestly love every line – but you did take my breath with, "And so in flames does my family end." Fire and water - purification and rebirth.

I too felt a catch in my throat when I read this line. Avon, this whole poem is extraordinary, but one thing this line said to me is that he will be able to go on with his own life, be his own man, while never losing sight of the refining fire that he has gone through.

Tay, Háma says he's waiting patiently for his poem.

~Nessime

PS - Tay, it just hit me—someone must have known it was your birthday and turned all the lights out, just so you could have a better view of the Perseid metor showers.


Actually, I was wondering if you or Chris had been effected by it, but I noticed you did some posting last evening. I assume that means you weren't—and Chris said she wasn't.

 

 

Re: And another boat in the Electronic Anduin...

I'm pleased you liked it.

I startd with two lines that just sang themselves to me -

Twilight dims and darkens, sunset slowly falls
Down along the river I hear the wild birds’ calls.

(They are the best lines, IMO, because they are the least forced) - and one concept -

And so in flames does my family end.

It could never get that into quite teh right words but the concept, the idea - that wouldn't go away.

Avon

 

 

Re: And another boat in the Electronic Anduin...

I too felt a catch in my throat when I read this line. Avon, this whole poem is extraordinary, but one thing this line said to me is that he will be able to go on with his own life, be his own man, while never losing sight of the refining fire that he has gone through.

Thanks, Nessime.

Avon

 

 

Re: And another boat in the Electronic Anduin...

Oh, Avon. That poem is absolutely beautiful. sigh.

And, Tay, happy, happy birthday. Thanks for writing such beautiful poetry, and prose that is poetry, and for inspiring many of us to try to write poetry ourselves. *hugs*

flick

 

 

Re: And another boat in the Electronic Anduin...

I had originally posted some limerick silliness for Tay's birthday here, but decided I shouldn't pollute the River ... so I moved it over to V&A.

 

 

Re: And another boat in the Electronic Anduin...

Can I put a 'me too' to everything flick said?

I also liked the pair of lines at the end, Avon, and the rhyming of recreate with fate.


Nic

 

 

Re: And another boat in the Electronic Anduin...

Thanks Flick and Nic! (Resists urge to make Vogon poetry out of that ;-))

Avon

 

 

Re: And another boat in the Electronic Anduin...

Flick" I had originally posted some limerick silliness for Tay's birthday here, but decided I shouldn't pollute the River ... so I moved it over to V&A.

Ah, but Anduin is self-cleaning!! Would that I were - my mind has been in the gutter since the "hottie" incidents.

I shall check out the venerable V&A...

 

 

Re: And another boat in the Electronic Anduin...

There are a few pictures from the new set of extended TT shots that are killing me! I like the embrace the best, (looks like Flick and I will vie to see who is quicker at getting into that sandwich)

But seeing Faramir standing in the water broke my heart. And as to in the boat lay The Blade of Gondor -- oh!

 

 

Re: And another boat in the Electronic Anduin...

But seeing Faramir standing in the water broke my heart. And as to in the boat lay The Blade of Gondor -- oh!

You said it ... *sniffle*

~Nessime

 

 

Re: And another boat in the Electronic Anduin...

But seeing Faramir standing in the water broke my heart. And as to in the boat lay The Blade of Gondor -- oh!

Oh, indeed!
*sniffles along*

 

 

Re: And another boat in the Electronic Anduin...

But seeing Faramir standing in the water broke my heart. And as to in the boat lay The Blade of Gondor -- oh!

Still sniffling... break out those hankies.

flick

 

 

Re: And another boat in the Electronic Anduin...

Gosh, for some reason that pic did nothing for me.

Perhaps I need my pulse checked or something. (grin)

lindorien

 

 

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