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Discussing: How Do I Love Thee?

How Do I Love Thee?

Poets, gather here for the poetry reading, commentaries, questions, etc.

 

 

Re: How Do I Love Thee?

I am not a romance writer, but I have entered my attempt at a love poem "Eternal Love", from Galadriel to Celeborn (naturally!).

jenolas,
(trying something new)

 

 

Re: How Do I Love Thee?

I am not a romance writer, but I have entered my attempt at a love poem "Eternal Love", from Galadriel to Celeborn (naturally!).

Good, I hoped this challenge might get people to loosen up and give romance a go. Well done for taking on such a difficult couple, too. I mean what do you say to someone you've been with for thousands of years? I guess you just have to live in the moment and express what you feel at that time.

I have to say I didn't think I would ever be writing anything of this sort, though I have discovered that I am a terrible old romantic at heart, but Gilraen just started whispering to me and away we went. Thanks to Tay for introducing me to villanelles. Arathorn was a bit more stubbon though. "A Light Beyond the Darkness" is now up.

 

 

Re: How Do I Love Thee?

Hi alawa

I left specific feedback on your poems in your own discussion, but I wanted to pop in here to say – great work with the villanelle! An interesting form, isn’t it? When I write them, I sometimes I get so pulled into the construction of the puzzle that I lose the meaning of the words – and sometimes I am startled to find that my brain has been thinking ahead and I DO have an upcoming rhyme / thought / or couplet that seems to be a gift from somewhere else.

Give the terzanelle a try – its adaptable meter would suit the lovely rhythm you bring to your verse. Or perhaps the Terza Rima, which has a sonnet form

I love your sonnets- the form has never moved me much before - the couplets always seem to bring pairs of closed thoughts instead of reaching for the burst of light at the end – but now you have me excited by showing the form in good use, and I am hoping to try one of my own when a place reveals itself.

Actually, I would like to try to write an interlocked sonnet, giving a couple alternating lines, with a joined voice for the final couplet. The idea seems too forced and contrived to be good verse, but the puzzle appeals to my warped brain.

I love this exchange of inspiration.



As for me - Well, I stuck my toe in the water of romance poetry since I said I would write for this challenge, but I am feeling insecure about both poems. Perhaps a little bashing around of the form will settle me down. I have a long string of lines that begin with ‘I’ in the Faramir verse – a subconscious revelation of the writer’s (pov) selfishness? Not where I meant to go!



Gaudete!

tay / powzie / fileg


 

 

Re: How Do I Love Thee?

When I write them, I sometimes I get so pulled into the construction of the puzzle that I lose the meaning of the words – and sometimes I am startled to find that my brain has been thinking ahead and I DO have an upcoming rhyme / thought / or couplet that seems to be a gift from somewhere else.

I did find that once I hit on the couplet it flowed reasonably naturally.

Give the terzanelle a try – its adaptable meter would suit the lovely rhythm you bring to your verse. Or perhaps the Terza Rima, which has a sonnet form

Where do you find all these forms - I can't keep up! I'll have to go and investigate them.

Actually, I would like to try to write an interlocked sonnet, giving a couple alternating lines, with a joined voice for the final couplet. The idea seems too forced and contrived to be good verse, but the puzzle appeals to my warped brain.

Wow! I like sonnets, not that I've written many, because they seem good for making an 'argument' of some kind. Here they could literally be having an argument - maybe with a reconcilliation in the couplet and maybe not. Best of luck with it!

Well, I stuck my toe in the water of romance poetry since I said I would write for this challenge,

Great, I'll go have a look.

Thanks for the comments



 

 

Re: How Do I Love Thee?

When I write them, I sometimes I get so pulled into the construction of the puzzle that I lose the meaning of the words – and sometimes I am startled to find that my brain has been thinking ahead and I DO have an upcoming rhyme / thought / or couplet that seems to be a gift from somewhere else.

It happened to me too. Villanelles are fascinating, and I have read some good examples of the form that are currently posted on the poetry challenges. Which brings me to...

I decided to give it a try, and have posted it under the name "As We Feel." It is actually a group of various poems written by several characters. So far I have Celeborn to Galadriel (a Sonnet), Théoden to Elfhild (a Villanelle), Fíriel to Arvedui, Theodwyn to Eomund (a Villanelle) and Eomund's answer to Theodwyn (a pushkin sonnet). This has been a lot of fun, but it's my first hand at poetry writing (and romance, to make matters worse!) I desperately need critique!

Anyway, I've loved this challenge, and I have very much enjoyed what's currently posted. Looking forward to more!

 

 

Re: How Do I Love Thee?

I got hijacked on the way home from my first ballet class in more than ten years by Beren of all people.

It must have been the waltz turns. I've not spun around in far too long. What do you think?

 

 

Re: How Do I Love Thee?

Oh, love the spinning around! I didn't know Beren was such a good dancer

I think you have achieved a great quality with your poem; it does echo the twirling, at least for me. The way the word Tinúviel keeps popping up every other line feels to me like he has just given another turn, or taken another step, or stopped to gasp for breath... I also like the brevity of his thoughts, fast, spontaneous, to the point yet expressing his emotions, which are also a whirlwind like her dance.

This is one of the most visual poems I've read. I'm glad he hijacked you, Dwim!



 

 

Re: How Do I Love Thee?

I didn't know Beren was such a good dancer

I figure Lúthien wouldn't waste her time on a guy with two left feet.

it does echo the twirling, at least for me.

Then it has achieved its purpose.

The way the word Tinúviel keeps popping up every other line feels to me like he has just given another turn, or taken another step, or stopped to gasp for breath

She's both the one spinning him round, but also his "spot"--the focal point that keeps him from falling over, as it were. So she serves two purposes, and I'm pleased that the repetition worked as a pivot for you as a reader.

This is one of the most visual poems I've read.

Really? That is interesting to me--it's the most physical one I feel I've written, but then again, being dizzy and seeing the world spin are pretty closely intertwined. Thanks, Starlight. Interesting to think I may have written something suited to the way I usually "get" my stories.

 

 

Re: How Do I Love Thee?

She's both the one spinning him round, but also his "spot"--

Yes! Exactly! As I read I just thought of what I feel when I twirl, how you see everything come and go around you very fast, passing you by, and then how you feel dizzy and ready to fall... but then comes Tinúviel again.

Besides from the obvious circumstance of dancing in a glade, now that I've stopped to consider things, there's also the metaphor for his life, as well. She does make his world spin around, in more ways than one.

Isn't it thrilling to know your images come across just as you intended?


This is one of the most visual poems I've read.

Really? That is interesting to me--it's the most physical one I feel I've written, but then again, being dizzy and seeing the world spin are pretty closely intertwined.


I did feel the movement of it; it sort of transported me to a place I've been before (not Doriath's forest, of course) but just the sensation of spinning around took me somewhere, or to some moment where I've twirled and it feels just like Beren's poem.


Interesting to think I may have written something suited to the way I usually "get" my stories.

You know what? I think you were channeling your subconscious, somehow. All that talk onlist about writing process and how you do it, and thinking about the subconscious and conscious stages of thinking... I think you captured that in your poem, sort of consciously channeling your subconscious (if that can ever happen! If it does, I think you got it there)

Good job, Dwim! Glad you shared with us.

 

 

Re: How Do I Love Thee?

I've stopped to consider things, there's also the metaphor for his life, as well. She does make his world spin around, in more ways than one.

The nice thing about Tolkien is that these things are kind of written for you already--refer to one aspect of a character's life, and you can drag in a whole bunch of other associations intentionally or otherwise because Tolkien's already gone to the trouble of fitting macrocosm to microcosm for you. But yes, she does form the turning point of his life, and literally, like Haley's comet, he keeps coming back to her. When he can't, she follows him instead--down to the underworld, then out again, marking the largest metaphysical revolution in M-e, other than, I'd say, Morgoth's initial fall and debasement of the Orcs.

Isn't it thrilling to know your images come across just as you intended?

Definitely, although I have to say, half the time I feel like it's only after the fact that I'm able to analyze what I've done, and half that time, it's because of readers who suggest something.

just the sensation of spinning around took me somewhere, or to some moment where I've twirled and it feels just like Beren's poem

Confess: when you were a kid, you found it entertaining to spin around in your living room til you fell over, then get up and do it again. It was something of a favorite activity for me...

I think you were channeling your subconscious, somehow.

I'm beginning to wonder whether it's my subconscious that channels me, or something. ;-)

 

 

Re: How Do I Love Thee?

So you finally succumbed, I thought you would and I’m glad someone's done Beren.

This took me back because I did a lot of ballet as a child. I got a strong impression of you pirouetting down the street on your way home! Or that exercise where you put your hands on your shoulders to keep them straight and step round the turn to practise keeping your eye on one spot.

Now I’m feeling a bit awed about how you can conjure up for me all those love/death type associations so apparently ‘simply’!

Danced me dizzy in the dell

I must say that reminded me of the Valley of the Shadow of death (and a Medieval Dance of Death) – but the idea of death’s not so frightening when he looks at her - and then there is the whole rescue from bondage aspect, and as you mention his actual deliverance from death – until they can go there together anyway - I did find it nicely erotic too - Gave a whole new resonance to the phrase 'doing the horizontal mambo'

 

 

Re: How Do I Love Thee?

So you finally succumbed, I thought you would

Then thou art more prescient than I, for I'd not thought to write for this one.

Or that exercise where you put your hands on your shoulders to keep them straight and step round the turn to practise keeping your eye on one spot.

Ooh, ooh, yes, those ones! Chainé turns? I can only remember how to say them, not how to spell them. Those are fun. And I will plead guilty to one waltz turn on the way home, though only one.

Now I’m feeling a bit awed about how you can conjure up for me all those love/death type associations so apparently ‘simply’!... I did find it nicely erotic too - Gave a whole new resonance to the phrase 'doing the horizontal mambo'

You know my addiction to writing couples "dying."

 

 

Re: How Do I Love Thee?

I'm just slipping another one in before the challenge closes. I'm pretty nevous about it. I think it qualifies as a love story.

An Elegy for Elfhild

 

 

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