Forum: Hands of the King

Discussing: Ch. 12 - Mortality

Ch. 12 - Mortality

Mortality Here, we return back to Denethor. Don't blink, or you will miss a large number of small and oblique references to stuff that will become important in later chapters. Denethor gets angsty, we find out more about how he, Thorongil & Adrahil conducted the summer wars, Brandir makes an appearance, some family background of the Stewards is provided, and many plot lines are established. I also do something with the character that probably does not seem possible, given where the elder Denethor psychologically ends up. It's just another challenge of the story, is all I can say. Big thanks to Nath & Julie for providing first-pass proof reading. Ang

 

 

Re: Ch. 12 - Mortality

I found this chapter very satisfying (but not so much so that I don't want to see what happens, damn it!). I admit that I was getting impatient with the last few, but this seemed just the right combinatiion of furthering the story and planting more clues to mysteries. I'm sure I missed several tidbits, which I'll have to come back and read again after future chapters. On first go through I didn't spot any typos or grammar glitches. I'll check again; I thought there were one or two phrases that could go smoother, but I'll have to find them. I have a suggestion that would be a kindness to readers who only see a new chapter at great intervals. It would help to have a compilation, perhaps as a separate 'chapter,' of all the names of the characters. I clicked back several chapters to try to find Borondir, and must have missed it. Help! Lyllyn

 

 

Re: Ch. 12 - Mortality

I found this chapter very satisfying (but not so much so that I don't want to see what happens, damn it!). I admit that I was getting impatient with the last few, but this seemed just the right combinatiion of furthering the story and planting more clues to mysteries. I'm sure I missed several tidbits, which I'll have to come back and read again after future chapters. What was making you impatient in the earlier chapters? I do admit that I am more easily able to include "action" in the Denethor POV chapters as he tends to get around to different locations more easily than Finduilas. So, eager for more, are you? I'm sure you'll find typos - someone always does. I have a suggestion that would be a kindness to readers who only see a new chapter at great intervals. It would help to have a compilation, perhaps as a separate 'chapter,' of all the names of the characters. Yes! I am working on one. I'm also trying to work up a timeline, but that's more spoilerish. Especially with the war logistics, it is difficult to follow who is where at which point in time, particularly as hte characters themselves don't always know what is happening. I clicked back several chapters to try to find Borondir, and must have missed it. Help! Oops! I think I have a passing reference to him in chapter 7, but don't actually introduce him in a speaking part until chapter 14. He is Denethor's first cousin, once removed, the adult son of his cousin Boromir, grandson of his maternal uncle, Belemir. He was one of those wretched OCs who was supposed to do a quick walk-on (like Brandir, Beregar, etc.) and go away, but who has decided to stay a while. Cheeky fellow. I may or may not leave the reference in. I feel I have to make one thing clear. The scene where Brandir describes the trouble with the horse (no spoilers!) was written in July last year, well before the extended edition of Two Towers came out, so any similarity between what Brandir recounts and what Aragorn does in TTT EE is purely coincidental. Glad you liked it! Ang

 

 

Re: Ch. 12 - Mortality

Only one question so far. A why then go? Why turn we not from fear and woe beneath the trees to walk and roam roofless, with all the world as home I don't understand the first line. Is "A" really the first word? I can't parse it, grammatically, and I am not familiar enough with the source to look it up. I do like the contrast between Denethor, bound to a place, and Thorongil, bound to wander, considered from Denethor's P.O. V. He is just so human. I really feel his pain in loving Finduilas. Very well-handled. A good way to inject in-character angst into such a cold and withdrawn character. If he just weren't so proud, he could talk to her about it, but he is not, and it must be some sort of small miracle (and common sense on her part) that they ever end up together at all... OK, a second question. That is the question Finduilas had asked, not to displace him, but to wake him. The use of the present tense early in that sentence jars slightly. Is it intentional? Other than that... Nice little tease thinking he was going to meet with Adrahil to possibly discuss Finduilas, and then switching tacks entirely in re: the heir quandary. Interesting touch. I shall be interested to see how he makes the necessary reversal later. And yet, heartbroken, because there's such irrational hope despite it all that somehow, he'll turn out all right. We know he won't. Canon says he won't. But it would be just... so nice if he did. Ah, tragedy.

 

 

Re: Ch. 12 - Mortality

I don't understand the first line. Is "A" really the first word? I can't parse it, grammatically, and I am not familiar enough with the source to look it up. Yes, that is the exact quote. Canto 10, line 3178, Lay of Leithian I had a hard time deciding whether to leave it in, or start the quote with the second word of the sentence. The set of lines captured perfectly the strange tension within Denethor of his profound devotion to Gondor (particularly to MT) and his own wanderlust - a desire both to escape from the Enemy, but also a wish to explore and to wonder at what he can find. His desire to know things is as much genuine curiosity abotu the world around him (which stirs up a deep love of that world) as much as a wish to master and control what he sees. Nor is it a tension between a "good" impules and a "bad" one, as I think of it. It is simply there to be enhanced or distorted by the times. "That is the question Finduilas had asked, not to displace him, but to wake him." The use of the present tense early in that sentence jars slightly. Is it intentional? Intentional? Heck if I know. I just write this stuff. I'd have to read the whole thing in context again. He is just so human. I really feel his pain in loving Finduilas. Very well-handled. A good way to inject in-character angst into such a cold and withdrawn character. If he just weren't so proud, he could talk to her about it, but he is not, and it must be some sort of small miracle (and common sense on her part) that they ever end up together at all... Thank you! I do have to struggle with how to allow him his emotional side - which is powerful - but not make him go over-board and get all mushy. No, he can't talk to her except in words of rule, power, and princes. But she does not object, and will introduce a quiet language of love into that will transform him. It is a small miracle that they end up together. Nice little tease thinking he was going to meet with Adrahil to possibly discuss Finduilas, and then switching tacks entirely in re: the heir quandary. Interesting touch. I shall be interested to see how he makes the necessary reversal later. And yet, heartbroken, because there's such irrational hope despite it all that somehow, he'll turn out all right. We know he won't. Canon says he won't. But it would be just... so nice if he did. That particular tack jumped up from nowhere and completely destroyed where I was taking the story. It is also where Brandir decided he wanted to be more than a buffoon. When Denethor finally talks to Adrahil about Finduilas (as he must) it will be... aggravating. But the reversal about the heir - that is intended to be heartbreaking. One of the things Tolkien said about his writing that stuck with me is how there is an air of "the road not taken" running throughout it. If only so-and-so had done this instead of that, if only these rivals had joined forces, if only a certain person had extended trust at the right moment. For me, the most terrible moment in LotR is when Gollum *almost* repents on the stair to Cirith Ungol, when Tolkien makes us see what Gollum once was and and holds out for one terrible, beautiful moment, that he might be this again. Then Sam wakes and snaps, and the might-have-been is gone. The next most powerful moment for me is when Denethor *almost* allows love to rule him: "Denethor followed [Gandalf], and stood trembling, looking with longing on the face of his son. And for a moment, while all were silent and still, watching their Lod in his throes, he wavered." What would have tipped him to love, not fury? If Gandalf had held his tongue? If Faramir had called his father's name once more? If the bearers had picked up the bier and walked off? There is something, even at that last moment, that could be touched - what was it? And why didn't it happen? HotK is a long way of trying to explain. There is nothing fated about his death until the moment in which it happens. Thanks so much for the comments! I appreciate them. Ang

 

 

Re: Ch. 12 - Mortality

I apologize in advance for how long this is. I would just email it, as it's all boring proofreading notes, but I am not sure what email address to use (i sent you something as a reply to the address from which the story alerts claim to have originated, and never got a response, but I am not sure whether the email was never received or the question was just really stupid, because it was, somewhat). Also, I already typed this whole thing up all HTML-formatted and my email program doesn't do HTML. I decided to go back and read the whole story from the beginning to see if it made more sense now. I remember being frustrated by various things that were initially left unexplained, and by now there is enough heft to the story that it's likely some of them have been explained by now. To my delight, i found that that was the case. On the way through, I picked up a few beta-ing and proofreading issues that I thought should be addressed, so here are all the notes I took. Sorry it's long! I did not try to be pleasant or witty about it, so I apologize if it sounds condescending or harsh-- I intend nothing of the sort, but did not take the time to be careful how I sounded, because I haven't the focus at the moment. (If I had that kind of focus, truth be told, I would probably be writing my own-- and not commenting on other people's-- stories. ) I'm also trying to include enough context here for the corrections to be meaningful. I can't give page numbers, so I'm trying to include the whole paragraph or exchange. I know it drives me nuts when I get a beta comment like, ' "Yes," he siad.' Should be said. Argh! Where?? I am enjoying the story immensely. I await the next chapter eagerly, as I anticipate that it should be an excellent chapter, simply given what is likely to happen next, and I can't wait to see how the characters deal with it. *************** Ch. 1. Ohhh. Adrahil's behavior makes a lot more sense now. Hadn't even considered the possibility that he'd be wondering about the succession. At least, as Denethor sees it. So he's ... ohhh, I get it. Hm. Wonder whether he will be Thorongil's patron. I like the interplay of eye contact between Denethor and first Adrahil, then Finduilas. Ch. 1
Denethor halted at Adrahil’s hail, turning to face the prince. The older man strode briskly towards him, the light coming through the windows glinting off his close-cropped silver hair as the prince moved from sunlight to shadow and back.
"coming through the windows glinting" is a lot of ings. It's minor, but could probably do with a rephrase. "The light from the windows glinting" or somesuch. Ch.1
Denethor could not really say whether she was beautiful or not as he could not look at anything in her face besides her eyes. She offered her hand matter-of-factly. ‘I am pleased to meet you Lord Denethor.’ Her handshake was firm and unhurried. ‘The pleasure is mutual, my lady.’
Ought there to be a comma in the middle? "Pleased to meet you, Lord Denethor"? It's more usual. If you've omitted it on purpose to indicate something about her manner of speech, then that's fine, but I thought I'd point it out and make sure. Ch. 1
‘Oh, yes, Aiavalë, thank you. Sometimes the air becomes too close indoors for me to breathe easily, and a short walk outside sets things to right,’ the younger woman assured her.
I think it should be "sets things to rights" or "sets things right", in normal colloquial usage. Ch. 1
She smiled. ‘The moment has passed, but I think I should prefer a quiet stroll upon the wall to returning to the room. I do not need an escort, Lor.. ‘Denethor.’ She nodded.
You're missing the closing quotation mark at the end of Finduilas's sentence, where she trails off. Chapter 2 Ch. 2
It had been a relatively decorous gathering. Finduilas had been groped only once during the festivities and not so crudely that she could not ignore it
Missing the period at the end of the sentence. Ch. 2
‘Mother says she does not remember the City being in such a spirit so long ago when she and Father were just wed, and they journeyed to Minas Tirith to pay respects to the Steward, Lord Turin.’
Turin or Turgon? I am confused. Turgon was Ecthelion's father, and Turin was his father? My. How long have Finduilas's parents been married? Thirty years? And Ecthelion has been steward for twenty... Turgon was only steward ten years? I do not have a timeline in front of me, so I do not know. I am simply curious. Ch.2
. There were few in Dol Amroth who had not heard tales of the great captain and his remarkable victories over Orcs and Southrens in South Ithilien.
Southrens or Southrons? Ch. 2
‘Sister, what wickedness are you about on this day.’ Maiaberiel slowly turned to face the Archivist. Her beautiful lip pulled up in a sneer, echoing the twisted face under the scarf.
Should Aiavale's question end with a question mark? Ch. 2
‘And left things such as this for me to handle. You are just jealous that no could be enticed to wed you. An Orc would flee in terror at sight of you!’
Maiaberiel's missing a noun here. "that no could be". Ch. 2
‘Denethor, it good to see you once again,’ she replied sincerely, offering her hand. He hesitated a moment, then took her hand gently. His smile did not widen, but she thought it became a little more true, and his eyes were more kind than amused.
Should say "Denethor, it is good" instead of "it good", yes? Ch. 2
‘Is that why you do not marry, have no children?’ The light was dim, but she could still see his expression change from serious to mocking. His voice at first, was the same.
The last sentence is a little awkward. I think it should have another comma. "His voice, at first, was the same." Ch. 3 again playing with gazes, at the funeral. I like that. Ch. 3
‘As befits a queen. Shall we go?’ They each kissed Aiavalë good evening before leaving. Aerin and Beregar, the attendant Denethor has assigned to Finduilas, were waiting for them in the hall. Denethor helped her on with her cloak and they departed.
"the attendant Denethor haD assigned" is probably what you meant. Ch. 4 Ch. 4
After a quarter hour, they stepped out the warm soaking tub and walked to the shower room.
"they stepped out OF the warm soaking tub", I think. Ch.4
So, instead of being attacked in three years, we have been given that much of a reprieve.’ and What if fortune had not smiled upon us, if the season were mild and dry, and we looked at two years instead of three before an invasion?’
I can't do that math. So, before the storm, they would have been ready in three years, but now it will take them three more? I get six from that. But then Denethor says they would have been ready in two years, and now have only been set back one? I am thoroughly confused about just how immediate the Umbar threat was, and now is. Is it three years, or six? I get hung up on that every time I go through the chapter, and spend a few minutes trying to work it out, and every time give up with a shrug. I just can't figure out what you mean there... Ch. 5 Ch. 5
She gave him her sweetest smile. ‘Oh, pray, forgive my inquisitiveness. I do not mean to pry’ They stared for a moment, then broke into laughter, though there was still sharpness in the old man’s eyes
The period ofter 'pry' is missing. Ch. 6 Ch. 6
‘Denethor, did you know that King Thengel’s wife, Queen Morwen, is my cousin?’ Denethor was roused out of his thoughts, looking surprised. ‘No, I did not know that. How is she your cousin?’ ‘Her mother is my maternal grandmother’s sister, so she and Mother are first cousins, and I am her first cousin once removed.’
Is that right? I would be very interested indeed to know your source for that information. For my own tales about Éomer and Lothíriel, I have looked into their kinship, and all I found on the subject was this passage on page 286 of Unfinished Tales (a note to the chapter "The Disaster of the Gladden Fields"):
She was known as Morwen of Lossarnach, for she dwelt there; but she did not belong to the people of that land. Her father had removed thither, for love of its flowering vales, from Belfalas; he was a descendant of a former Prince of that fief, and thus a kinsman of Prince Imrahil. His kinship with Éomer of Rohan, though distant, was recognised by Imrahil, and a great friendship grew between them.
I was interested to hear about that-- Did Finduilas ever write that letter? Will we be hearing more from Morwen Steelsheen? Ch. 7 Ch. 7
‘They have no business drinking too much in any case,’ was his stern reply. Morwen shook her head and chuckled. ‘You would forbid them any pleasure, if your could, Denethor.’
"if you could, Denethor"-- I think "your" is a typo there. Ch. 7
Two furlongs west of the causeway forts stood the whorehouse, a large estate house abandoned five-hundred years before and repaired ten years prior during the rebuilding of the bridge in Osgiliath. Keeping it apart from the garrison itself protected the house from an unexpected attacks and allowed visits to be observed.
"Keeping the house apart from the garrison itself protected the house from unexpected attacks." You have an "an" before "unexpected" which doesn't work with the plural "attacks". Ch. 7
When Steward Turgon sickened and Ecthelion was recalled to the City, Denethor was made lieutenant under his uncle Belemir’s command. His mother’s eldest brother had been his mentor for battle and strategy, and he had listened careful to the man’s counsel.
"listened carefully" ? Ch. 8 Ch. 8
Small craft plied the current now, some with oars, some with sails, none with majesty. The officers stopped as Thorongil discussed the finer points of monitoring the Southrens who came to trade. It became an exchange on balancing the need for trade with the dangers of spies.
I believe I have seen you spell "Southrons" "Southrens" before, so perhaps it is intentional? My only source for the spelling is my memory of RoTK's chapters on Henneth Annun and the Pelennor battle, and I do not have that book in front of me, so I could be wrong. If so, I apologize. It simply looks like a typo to me. Ch. 8
‘In this I may only repeat the Steward’s words: How? How shall this be done? I have done little since the Great Council save give thought to this matter. Their havens are guarded more fiercely than before, they must have spies all over southern Gondor to look for signs that we prepare an attack. I assure you the fact that we held a council here in Pelargir will be known within a fortnight in Umbar.’
"Their havens are guarded more fiercely than before, they must have spies all over southern Gondor to look for signs that we prepare an attack." The sentence is a comma splice. A stronger bit of punctuation or a connecting word is necessary to connect the two halves of the sentence. A colon or the word "and" would work. Ch. 9 Ch. 9
Thorongil’s face reddened a little and he swirled his wine before answering. ‘It is just…when we have met before…I mean no offence, but…you have not always seemed…’
There should be spaces after the ellipses, just like after any other punctuation. That might be an issue of how things display in the browser, but I thought I would point it out. It happens again a little later:
‘Nothing? Aiavalë leaves the Citadel and can hardly speak your name with spitting, and you say it is nothing?’ ‘Nothing. It is…just one of our arguments. Siblings have them.’ Finduilas snorted to show her disbelief at his answer.
It also happens in later chapters, but I did not note down each occasion, as your doing it consistently seems deliberate. However, i believe that correctly, there should be a space between an ellipsis and what follows it. But I am currently missing my Strunk & White so I can't back that up. Ch.9
‘Lord Denethor asked me to say to his lady sister that he would call in mid-afternoon to fetch you,’ Imrahil concluded. Aiavalë harrumphed at that news. Finduilas was too busy thinking to pay much attention. After the others left the parlor to have dinner, Aiavalë announced she would walk back to the archives, and would not need any fetching, Finduilas asked to accompany her.
The last sentence is a run-on. You've got one too many clauses on there. Ch. 10 I enjoy the picture sketched of Denethor by Finduilas's various observations of spaces where he is not. Ch. 11 Ch. 11
The party was as loud and lascivious as it had promised to be. Some of the dresses were cut so low and clung so tightly that Finduilas was not sure why more breasts were not popping out of their cloth bindings. Wine flowed as freely as hands wandered, and few seemed to mind a pat anymore than they minded their glass being refilled. Her parents exchanged a long, disapproving stare before following Brandir into the courtyard.
A couple things. "Finduilas was not sure why more breasts were not popping out of their cloth bindings." More? Some are? I would think actually-popping-out breasts would warrant more than an indirect mention. I know when mine do they get quite a bit of attention. (Hey. It hasn't happened in years because I don't wear that corset in public anymore, but the memory is vivid. Oh the humanity.) "few seemed to mind a pat anymore than they minded" -- should be two words, "any more". Ch. 11
‘I care for being told what I should do no more than you. If I wish for something, I will say so.’ He set the drink on the tray of a passing server. ‘Why are you so wed to being grim?’ Finduilas demanded
Missing punctuation at the end of the last sentence. Ch 12 Ch. 12
Denethor mouthed the words to himself, finally understanding. I have been in a dream. My pride betrayed me, for I thought that I had no heart to capture, and I ventured into an enchanted land heedless. Then she woke me from my enchantment…
I think the metaphor's a little mixed, or perhaps simply that the word enchantment is overused-- was he enchanted, or was the land enchanted? If he was already enchanted, why would it matter if he went into an enchanted land? Is love enchantment or freedom from enchantment? Or is he meant to feel conflicted over this, himself? Ch. 12
The ferry-ride across the west-channel afforded the opportunity to inspect its maintenance. All was well. Along the west bank, for several miles north and south of the landing, poplars and willows huddled along the shore.
A few hyphenation issues. Ferry ride is two words. No hyphen. West channel is two words. No hyphen. I have not yet unpacked most of my bookshelf and so I cannot, for the life of me, find my Strunk & White's Guide to Style, but I am sure those two gentlemen have a lovely explanation of the use of the hyphen that would provide me with the specifics on this matter. Perhaps in two weeks when I have my life-- er, bookshelf-- back, I can make a better case. Ch. 12
‘Rather like I have been kicked by a horse.’ At that, Thorongil burst out laughing. The cheerful peel sounded much as the herbed-water tasted, soothing and heartening at the same moment.
Oranges have peels, and laughter comes in peals like bells' ringing. Ch. 12
With a sigh, he set down the cup on the floor and rolled back into bed. “Perhaps that is what my dreams mean, that it is time for a new line of kings. Would not a king bring hope?” That is the question Finduilas had asked, not to displace him, but to wake him. As you have woken in me so much else… He looked around the room, trying to make out where his clothes has been laid. A little moonlight came through the window. On a peg near the wall he could make out the shadow of his tunic.
This is where I commented before on the sentence "That is the question Finduilas had asked"-- wondering if it should say "that was the question" instead. You said you'd have to see it in context, so there's the context-- the other sentences around it that are in third person seem to all be in the past tense, while the interspersed first-person ruminations are in present tense. Also (just picked this up after I posted this), "where his clothes has been laid" should probably say "had been laid"-- I think that was just a typo. ************ I am plagued by a nagging suspicion that there are still more little things I have missed, but for the life of me cannot find them. These are all little things, anyway. Mostly, the story's in great shape. Please don't make us wait too long for the next chapter! -- DL7

 

 

Re: Ch. 12 - Mortality

I apologize in advance for how long this is. I would just email it, as it's all boring proofreading notes, but I am not sure what email address to use (i sent you something as a reply to the address from which the story alerts claim to have originated, and never got a response, but I am not sure whether the email was never received or the question was just really stupid, because it was, somewhat). Also, I already typed this whole thing up all HTML-formatted and my email program doesn't do HTML. I decided to go back and read the whole story from the beginning to see if it made more sense now. I remember being frustrated by various things that were initially left unexplained, and by now there is enough heft to the story that it's likely some of them have been explained by now. To my delight, i found that that was the case. On the way through, I picked up a few beta-ing and proofreading issues that I thought should be addressed, so here are all the notes I took. Sorry it's long! I did not try to be pleasant or witty about it, so I apologize if it sounds condescending or harsh-- I intend nothing of the sort, but did not take the time to be careful how I sounded, because I haven't the focus at the moment. (If I had that kind of focus, truth be told, I would probably be writing my own-- and not commenting on other people's-- stories. ) Holy moly! %-) Wow, this is fantastic! Thank you for doing all of this. This is an incredible amount of work on your part, and I am really grateful. As well as being ashamed of how many typos etc. are there after all the eyes that have looked the chapters over. I never knew the proper formatting for ellipses, to tell the truth, but now I have no excuse. Thanks for enlightening me. The Strunk & White explanation for hyphens should probably find a home with a forum or article for writers in the Resources area, as I'm certainly not the only one who sits about going "Hmm, do I need one?" The reply email should be ang@romenna.net . I know there was a big mail server glitch about a month ago, so anything that was sent back then got munched and my email address had to be changed (was anglachel@romenna.net previously). Your tone is fine, very matter-of-fact, just so you know. I can't imagine any reasonable author not wanting comments like this. I will pick out the story comments (vs. grammar, spelling, what *was* Ang thinking when she wrote that? stuff) and reply to those a little later. I'm going to try to write tonight so you don't have to wait too long for the next chapter. Thank you, again, for putting in all this work - I *really* appreciate it! Ang

 

 

Re: Ch. 12 - Mortality

an incredible amount of work on your part Well. It's not really work to reread good stories. And I'm glad I did, because the story makes more sense now. But it did take a little longer than I'd thought, so I'm glad you're happy. ashamed of how many typos etc. are there after all the eyes that have looked the chapters over Including mine. Amazing, isn't it? And the last one I caught, i didn't catch in the original-- I caught it after I'd posted the paragraph for something else, and noticed after it was already up in this thread. Amazing how pernicious the little bastards can be. Stupid typos-- I think they ought to invent psychic keyboards. Strunk & White I think the entirety of Strunk & White needs to be posted on every writing site. A great deal of the writing published on the Internet and even in print would benefit immensely from a healthy injection of The Word Of Strunk (Annotated By White). But I digress. Yes, there are some particularly thorny questions of grammar that could probably do with a resource article. I used to know grammar better. I used to pride myself on never needing a writer's guide. But then someone pointed out that I used semicolons improperly; since then, I have been a gibbering wreck about grammar. Actually the old, old edition (1918 ) of Strunk is online (before White wrote his half of it), at Project Gutenberg, but their server's timing out so I can't put up a link to it because I can't find it. The reply email Hm. I'll go back and check which address I sent it to. pick out the story comments [...] and reply to those a little later. I'm going to try to write tonight so you don't have to wait too long for the next chapter. I don't care if you never respond to them, if it means you'll get the next chapter out sooner!! I'm at a particularly bored and idle point at the moment, and no matter how I try I cannot be productive-- am at crucial plot sticking points in two different novels and a cycle of five short stories, beyond which I cannot progress, as well as being in the midst of a prolonged and agonizing move which means that my worldly possessions (including Strunk & White, dammit-- but not Unfinished Tales. Oh no. That I have not let out of my immediate possession. Perhaps my priorities are a little out of whack?) are scattered across the entire state in several different locations including the garages of two different people (250 miles apart, mind you), and am being turned down for all kinds of fascinating jobs, so... Really, reading's just about all I'm good for.

 

 

Re: Ch. 12 - Mortality

Actually the old, old edition (1918 ) of Strunk is online (before White wrote his half of it), at Project Gutenberg, but their server's timing out so I can't put up a link to it because I can't find it. Here is one site I use for a dictionary, thesaurus, and the 1918 version of The Elements of Style Lyllyn

 

 

Re: Ch. 12 - Mortality

and chanted some wild magic thingthat stirred him, till it sudden broke the bonds that held him, and he woke to madness sweet and brave despair. Missing a br tag.

 

 

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