Forum: Beta - Try Before You Buy

Discussing: Capture the Fire, Forge the Iron

Capture the Fire, Forge the Iron

Hello, all! I'm looking for someone to do a quick, simple beta for me of a single chapter of a story. And all I want is one thing: advice on tense adjustment. That's the main, major point. If there are other comments, do tell, but that's the one big thing I want. Right now, it's in present tense. I'm not sure if I want to keep it present, or move it to past tense. I have a tendancy to switch, and even though I catch myself, I'd like to keep it one tense all the way through. I don't know if it sounds good past tense, though, and yet I'm also unsure if I can pull off present tense all the way through, because I write most easily in past. Please reply to this forum, or post in my forum here. Always, Allie Here's a snippet: I frown, the sweat dripping down my forehead in great beads. The metal smokes with heat, and my hammer sends sparks flying in the air when it strikes against the hot band. My arm grows weary of the constant swinging, but there is some drive that urges me on, to complete this last task for the day. Only when it is done will I go home, and allow myself to rest. Only then… It is only here that I feel at peace with myself; strange to find peace among the blazing forge fires. When I came to the forge for the first time, I was as shapeless as the metal I have now: raw material, awaiting a smith. The forge has done that to me; it has been my smith, for I now have spirit and strength that I did not have before. While working among the furnaces, I have forged myself as well, into a truer, stronger version of Nerdanel. One who will last and endure, because she knows who she is. “Nerdanel?” My father’s voice is nearly drowned out by the dull roar of the fires, and I look up after thrusting the strip of copper into the flames. Inspiration always is precious to me, and I loathe disruption. He stands at the wide stone archway, arms folded casually. I cast a longing look at the copper, but I reluctantly say, “Yes, my lord?” “I would like you to meet my newest student. He has just arrived from Tirion. He is attending to his belongings.”

 

 

Re: Capture the Fire, Forge the Iron

I'd be willing to do a beta for you. It sounds like a very intruiging idea (the world needs more Nerdanel fics), and I'm really interested in seeing the rest of the story and being able to offer my help in regards to the tense, or anything else you might want. Let me know if you are interested or have any questions, and good luck with this story! Edit: I'm just realizing that you have already published said story, and may not need a beta reader any longer. If you still do, I'm still open, but if not... well, I'm months late!

 

 

Re: Capture the Fire, Forge the Iron

*GASP* SQUEE! Well, first off, let me say that I'm delighted by your offer. Any kind of feedback is precious, and a beta offer is even more so. That said, I'd love for you to take a look at what I have so far. I do have a beta reader (she excels at characterization issues), but it is said that two heads are better than one. I'd also have you know that my muses and I are at war, and even if we weren't, I write very sporadically. Thank you so very much, and let me know what you think. Allie edit: And, with the premiere of workshop being tomorrow, that would be my preferred method of beta-ing instead of the more conventional e-mail. Just to let you know.

 

 

Re: Capture the Fire, Forge the Iron

Oh, great! I really like your story so far, and I was sad that I missed my opportunity to help- but I guess I get a second chance! Excuse my ignorance, but I'm rather new to HASA- 'workshop' would be what?

 

 

Re: Capture the Fire, Forge the Iron

Excuse my ignorance, but I'm rather new to HASA- 'workshop' would be what? Shhh... 'workshop' is the new top-secret area of HASA. It's a place where people can 'clone' chapters of stories in progress and comment on them. Yeah, real comments, right in line with the text. No more cutting and pasting bits into forum windows. It will be easier for beta readers to make more detailed comments. Two beta readers can even leave comments in different colors. I hear that in stories there you don't even have to use html codes, just click on bold or italic or green (sorry, I can't do green here...) wow - the text changes, just like using a real word processor. Rumor says it has some other really cool features too. Playlists of someone's favorite stories or story series by an author or a group of authors, right there to click on and read - all in order. Site workshops, challenge-specific workshops, private workshops, open workshops... a new place to play. Check the "Sections" drop down - at some point within the next 48 hours there will be a link to "workshops". But.. shhh... don't tell anybody yet! I still have a few last minute things to do there before it can go public. Gwynnyd Workshop Admin

 

 

Re: Capture the Fire, Forge the Iron

*extremely delighted grin* We loves feedback, precious, yes we does. It is everything that is good and crunchable and wonderful, yessss. Oooo, you joined just in time! Workshop will be released tomorrow: it's like a beta work type thing right here on HASA! I love it: I'll show you the logistics of it when it opens up to the site. I have my own shop (creatively, Meril's Shop), and I'll add Capture the Fire to it straight away. I'm actually in workshop right now, putting finishing touches on b-day cards stuff. (btw, if your birthday is coming up, I highly recommend requesting a birthday drabble here. People write you drabbles as presents: it is the coolest thing ever.) I'm one of the Challenge Managers, hence, the birthday cards organization is one of my jobs. Allie

 

 

Re: Capture the Fire, Forge the Iron

Gwynnyd, you're very sneaky. You beat me to workshop promotion. Grrrr.... And yet as Challenges and Workshop join forces, we'll become invincible! We shall rule this world, I say, RULE! HASA peeps, watch out! Guard your spare time with your lives! MWA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! Eldamir, I'm really not like this all the time. Honest. I'm just very sleepy/hyper/workshop-hyped right now. I'll be normal tomorrow, when I've had enough sleep. Allie

 

 

Re: Capture the Fire, Forge the Iron

Gwynnyd, you're very sneaky. You beat me to workshop promotion. Shh.... workshops are an unannounced feature! I'm still adding stories to the site workshops' playlists. We don't want people to get too excited! Shh.. remember, keep it quiet for now. We don't want people to know that workshops will be active sometime this weekend, do we? We'll be innundated! Gwynnyd workshop admin

 

 

Re: Capture the Fire, Forge the Iron

Oooohhh, oops. My bad. No way. We don't want anything like that. I mean, the last thing we want to do is flood the "On Our Minds" forums page with teasers about workshop. And getting people actually curious about workshop, and all the cool new features that are going to be released sometime this weekend? I mean, what with the playlists, and the completely kick-@ss beta-ing possibilities, and the new text editor... No, you're definitely right. Keep it on the down-low. Very secret, clandestine new feature, this Workshop is. Allie

 

 

Re: Capture the Fire, Forge the Iron

Wow, okay, so I guess that answers my question! Thanks! So as soon as this starts up (and I figure out how to use it) I'll hop to it. What kind of things would you like me to look for? Edit: Mmkay, so the workshops are open, and I've found yours, but I need you to grant me access to it, right?

 

 

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