Discussing: [Inactive] Fortune's Paradox - All Comments Welcome!
[Inactive] Fortune's Paradox - All Comments Welcome!
Elena Tiriel
Message: 19680
03 Jan 04 6:33 AM
Original Post
General Audience
Read-Only
Message: 19680
03 Jan 04 6:33 AM
Original Post
General Audience
Read-Only
Due to some valuable feedback I received off-list, I have added a short paragraph at the end of the story. Please let me know if it helps to clarify what happened, or if the change in POV is confusing.
Barbara
Re: Fortune's Paradox - All Comments Welcome!
Re: Fortune's Paradox - All Comments Welcome!
I just fixed the story.
It just might be related to the testing - I'm one of the testers - so I will be reporting it to HASA. Not only did my story lose its paragraph breaks, but some of my posts have, too.
It's really embarrassing, because it looks like I didn't even check the story after editing it! But I did check, and the paragraph breaks were fine.
Sigh.
- Barbara
Re: Fortune's Paradox - All Comments Welcome!
I just posted a minor update to Fortune's Paradox, mostly to correct an error I found (after two months of staring at the story...).
This update does not incorporate the feedback you have all given me in the last few days -- not because I don't plan to incorporate it, but because it will take a while for my Muse to percolate the suggestions and incorporate them into the story cleanly.
I just wanted you to know that I am not ignoring your suggestions, but the error bugged me... It's just so hard to be a perfectionist when I am so imperfect...
Best regards,
Barbara
Re: Fortune's Paradox - All Comments Welcome!
I loved the notes, which I thought were very humourous, and yes, they did set the tone for me - I expected the upcoming fic to be humourous. Which was something of a problem, because the upcoming fic certainly *appeared* serious. I expected from the notes that the fic was a dig at the Mary Sue, but instead what it looked like was a superiorly written, but earnest attempt to write a Mary Sue fic. As a result of which I was kind of thrown off track and didn't know whether I was supposed to be amused or not.
Then, because the fic appeared to be serious, and was very well written, I ended up quite liking the character, and being rather glad that she ended up with Rumil, which made the ending something of a shock and an emotional blow for me. I would guess I was supposed to laugh at the unexpected realism and well deserved death of a Mary Sue, but - lured by your serious descriptions and world building - I actually felt rather sad.
Maybe if you maintained the tone of the notes into the fic itself, as a warning not to take this seriously, that might help. Or if you made the Mary Sue more Mary Sue like and dwelled on her beauty, strangely coloured hair and flawless voice a bit more....
As it is, it's so well written, and so very borderline on the MSness that I actually feel sorry for her and wish she could have lived happily ever after with Rumil. (Liked the fact that it was Rumil and not Haldir, btw
Marnie :-)
Re: Fortune's Paradox - All Comments Welcome!
Thank you *so* much for your comments!
And your feedback just blew me away -- for a first-time author to hear from an author of your caliber that the story was well-written, and that you liked the character, and was saddened by her death -- well, I'm going to be dancing on the clouds for the rest of the day! (I'll try not to fall...)
The story started out as a Mary Sue parody... really it did! It was going to be romantic and FUNNY! Alas, the brothers Galadhrim haven't spoken to me since the story took such a strange turn... They give me such evil looks, it's scary sometimes...especially when they start sharpening their knives. But, fortunately, they behave themselves when my Muse, Glorfindel, is around. (Which isn't nearly often enough...)
Your thoughts confirmed my concern that the story has structural problems that may not be "fixable". I might try to revise it per some of the other feedback I've gotten (the purple prose...), but I may not submit it for the HASA public archive again.
But writing it and getting feedback has been an *extraordinary* learning process. I'm very glad I did it, and hope that the Muse bites me again soon (no, Glorfindel, I didn't mean that literally! I meant, um, kiss... Yes, that's it: kiss! Wipe that grin off your face!)
Thank you, Marnie -- you really made my day! (And Rumil's, too!)
Best regards,
Barbara
Re: Fortune's Paradox - All Comments Welcome!
Please accept my apologies. There are no significant changes to the story today. My Muse refuses to be hurried... as he is a Balrog-slayer, I do not wish to annoy him...
- Barbara
Oh, don't worry about that! Everyone knows every little change bumps the story up; there's no way around it, nobody minds. :-)
