2010 Birthday Cards

Elena Tiriel's 2010 Birthday Gifts!

3. A Question of Dialect — thelauderdale

A Question of Dialect
by thelauderdale

"It's been sorted, Milord," the Orc informed him.  "A goblin contingent from the Misty Mountains misunderstood an order.  Their commander told them to shoot the horses, but they thought he said to aim for the wheels."

If Sauron's hand had been corporeal he would have smacked his similarly embodied forehead.  "This is outrageous.  I devised the Black Speech so that such things would not happen.  I crafted this beautiful language and instructed my creatures in every aspect of its form, but absent a few centuries' watchfulness they have fallen back into dialect and disarray.  What good is all of my Standardization if the dregs of my army will not use the noble grammar I have given them?"

"With respect, Milord, I don't think the problem is grammatical.  It's more an issue of the homophones involved: northern snaga rukul and Mordor rûk."

"Oh, that makes it so much better," said Sauron icily.  "I should just be glad they don't speak Dwarvish or they would have followed orders to shoot each other!"

Udalug's brow creased but he forbore angering his master further.  In Sauron's current mood he would not have appreciated a reminder that the Khuzdul plural for "Orc" was actually Rakhâs.


Rukul ("wheel"; Svartiska Orkish, a Swedish conlang)
Rûk ("horse"; Land Of Shadow Black Speech, devised by Scatha)
Rukhs, pl. Rakhâs ("Orc"; Tolkien's Khuzdul)

This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.

In Challenges

Story Information

Author: Elena Tiriel

Status: General

Completion: Complete

Rating: General

Last Updated: 04/04/10

Original Post: 03/15/10

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